DH's sister just keeps crossing the line with me
DH & I are at FIL's for dinner over the weekend and guess what is predominantly displayed on FIL's dining room wall?
A "family" picture that DH's sister had taken at her house for the "family" dinner following the surprise birthday party for FIL recently. This is the same party that DH's sister not only excluded me from having any part of planning, but that she invited BM too.
I was trying very hard to understand DH's sister's stance on inviting BM....after all she was DH's first wife and FIL is dragged to DH's ex-wife by DH's sister every so often, like Christmas Eve events etc... so I reasoned that okay it wasn't totally out of the question that she was included in my FIL's party
But it still didn't sit right with me, still felt like DH's sister was once again blatantly crossing the line and trying to stick it to me like she loves to do
Whatever, BM and I actually get along and there were no problems so I reason so what, get over it
But then BM is also included in the private family dinner following the party?????!!!!! Now I was getting irritated. Again not with BM, I like her, we have no major issues. I actually feel a bit sorry for her. But seriously???!! Such a disrespect to me that DH's sister would blatantly cross the line again
But of course, that was nothing
Following a long, uncomfortable evening with BM and her SO at not only the party but the family dinner following this, THEN DH's sister arranges to have a family portrait taken. She lines us all up on the stairs for the picture. BM on the top step, DH's sister next, with her arm very obviously and prominently around BM. Me standing next, with DH on the next step down, his arm around me. And so on with FIL, SGS, and DH's daughters
I was annoyed enough by all the ridiculousness, but to go to FIL's on the weekend and see the framed picture up on the wall. Grrrr....!!! Of course DH's sister insisted that the picture go up and of course right in the dining room where we all sit for dinner when there, AND closest to the seat at the end of the table (farthest away from her and DH's daughter) where I'm always seated - just making sure I can't help but notice the picture I guess....and how she is soooooo close to BM arm around her so proudly and all. :sick: :sick: :sick:
The nonsense with DH's sister never ends.
She never stops crossing every line she can where I'm concerned
At this point I just laugh. I consider it something to be proud of actually. She is so insecure and always so intent on trying to bring me down, humiliate me, one up me, that I can only take it all as a compliment.
She is jealous, and it so so so shows
I should feel sorry for her really
Good thing she's cut out of
Good thing she's cut out of your life dtzyblnd...sooooo much easier that way! Sounds like she's still trying to get to you using whatever means (relatives) she can
Yes best thing is to laugh it off, otherwise it could driver you batty LOL
Yes catlettuce I so agree
Yes catlettuce I so agree with you. Dh himself had no idea that BM was going to be at FIL's party let alone the private family dinner at his sisters following this
Funny I had mentioned to DH beforehand 'I bet ya your sister is going to invite your ex-wife'. DH said no, he didn't think so. Then finds out from YSD right before the party that yes, BM will be there, because she was after all YSD's ride there. Grrrr!!!
And DH had even asked, insisted in fact, weeks prior to the party that he would love to pick YSD up and take her to the party. YSD said no that it was fine, that she was going with her BF who would be driving. But then we find out right before the party she is fact coming to the party with BM and her SO
But even more surprising the DH's sister would also invite BM to the private family dinner afterwards....again YSD informing DH at the last minute with the excuse that BM was her ride home
All of that was a bit (or a lot I should say) too much, especially as DH's sister didn't so much as bother to even let DH know his ex-wife would there, but then the family portrait with ALL of us including BM in it! And now it's sitting right there on FIL's wall for me to look at each and every time I'm there
It amazes me that DH's sister never actually wakes up one day and realizes what a complete and total ass she acts like, and for no reason at all, oops that is except her extreme jealous insecurities
Yes DH could say something to her to establish boundaries, but he doesn't have the balls - even though he himself admits she was waaaaaay out of line with all this crap. And even if DH had the balls to say something, his sister would just turn it all around and cause drama which he and I would be blamed for
I just sit back and watch her in action these days. It's against me she does these things and yet I watch it all sort of from a distance, I refuse to take it personal and simply remember where it all comes from
The classier I act and the less reaction she gets from me, the less satisfaction I'm sure she gets from it
Are all SILs hell bent on
Are all SILs hell bent on making the new wife feel like a piece of sh*t?! My SIL is exactly the same way, except my DH is a bit more... Ballsy? While at a family event they had a HUGE blow up, ever since, if circumstances force us to be in the same place he won't even acknowledge her existence let alone speak to her. She offers him the same treatment...
Ugh! And her relationship with BM! If he gave a shit, he would exercise his ROFR (like BM ever offers!) just to keep SD from spending any time with SIL or MIL. The are both a couple of fruit baskets. MIL hates the school pictures I arranged for SD this year because "she looks 30!" No, she looks like a little girl whose hair wasn't done by a vacuum, and wasn't dressed by a blind gypsy.
But seriously, both of them have their noses shoved up BMs ass because they think it is the only way they can see SD.
Ugh. In-laws.
Have to chime in--when DH and
Have to chime in--when DH and I got married 7 years ago it was his SISTERS who were the worst. The oldest, formerly my friend, the divorced one who introduced us, was so jealous that we were happy that she went to all the extended family to trash us. SIL3 TURNED HER BACK on me in public the first time we saw her after our elopement. Then SIL1 sucked up to BM, who she "couldn't stand" when DH divorced her. Fortunately DH has balls and he chewed all three of them out and cut them off for a long time.
BM was soon a fixture at EVERY family function--which we were not there to see, TG, as we moved. Da da da...after a while they all saw the real BM, lazy, non-parent, loser who is now shacked up with a drug dealer who beat up the SKs (and she sided with him so the police dropped the charges).
It took a while--a long while--but now I have a cordial, semi-warm relationship with them. I am wary, though. Oldest SIL is a narcissist and you can't trust them at all. The only saving grace was my late MIL, who adored me from day one, and me her.
It's jealousy and very unbecoming in a "grown" woman. Just smile and look fab. And be happy with your DH. I bet she doesn't have a husband or BF, and if she does, he's a loser, am I right?
This just shows how it goes
This just shows how it goes on for generations...my God, 55 year old SD still doing this crap?
I feel your pain
I feel your pain intrinsicmemory!
Wow LizzieA you are so dead
Wow LizzieA you are so dead on it isn't funny!! Yes DH's sister is not married, no kids, has never even had a boyfriend the entire 17 years that DH and I have been together
And like you, I had a good relationship with my late MIL, and I have a great relationship with my FIL. And yes - DH's sister never had a good relationship with BM while she and DH were married. But once DH cheated on her and left her for another woman, while now all of a sudden his sister couldn't have been more interested in becoming 'friends' with BM
I don't think DH's sister had any relationship at all with DH's ex-girlfriend and I'm sure people would brush that off to that woman breaking up her brother's marriage. But I on the other hand had nothing to do with it, came along a solid three years after DH & BM split, and no reason in the world for DH's sister to act like such a turd.
I agree, it is sooooooo unbecoming in a grown woman to behave in such a competitive jealous manner!
Have never seen anything so childish, petty, and pathetic. I could seriously write a
DH and BM were married for 11
DH and BM were married for 11 years, DH had an affair on BM for the last three years of their marriage and the affair continued with this woman for another three years after he and BM split. He met me after, and we have been together for 17 years.
For the entire 17 years DH's sister has been jealous, looks for every opportunity to exclude me, humiliate me and bring me down in front of DH and his family as well as my own family and friends
I could write a book about all the things she has done over the years!!
BM on the other hand has been just fine, we get along great, it's DH's crazy insecure sister who is the problem
Good for you skeeter! You
Good for you skeeter! You make so much sense. Hopefully your DH will come to understand how smart it was for you to do this, especially when he sees how much happier and more peaceful his home is without those two orchestrators in it!
Again, can't understand why grown women can act in such a petty, infantile manner
I have also stopped inviting DH's sister, and his eldest daughter into my home. I do attend DH's family events as it means the world to my FIL who has been nothing but great to me. It also means a lot to DH
I don't retaliate and get caught up in his sister's and daughter's nonsense. I do feel it stems from their jealous insecurities and so knowing where it comes from helps me to simply ignore it and accept that it is what it is when it comes to them
It's sad really as the ones who are losing out are them. I generally get along well with everyone and really do so so much for the people that matter to me. At one time it was important for me to have good relationships with them. Now I realize that they are just negative energy in my life. I tolerate them but no longer have any desire to have relationships with them that are anything more than the basic cordial manners and respect you would show a stranger on the street
When I go to DH's family events I make an effort to get my head around what I've come to expect from them prior to each event
Weekend after next is the birthday lunch for DH's eldest daughter and I. I'm already not looking forward to it as I know that while FIL will go out of his way to treat me with all the kindness and compassion a loving and truly good FIL can, DH's sister and daughter will use it as a tool to belittle, humiliate and generally 'bring me down a peg or two' 
.....or so they will try anyway 
Wow goodtimes, couldn't agree
Wow goodtimes, couldn't agree with you more! So very very true, and great advice