I'm in a rut
I have been dating this guy for a little over 2 years now and we have a baby together. He also has a 5 year old from his previous marriage. It seems we are having a hard time understanding what is expected of me as the 'step parent'. The 5 year old is with us 3 days a week. I have have to set many rules for her because she thinks she can do whatever she wants. My boyfriend doesn't really pay attention when she was jumping on her bed or putting stickers all over the house, or just not listening in general. Now I am the one who has to tell her no. My boyfriend also expects me to pick her up from school everyday because her mother is working, even on her days. I am at the point where I'm just so over whelmed. I did not expect to play such a main role in the child's life. My boyfriend just flips out every time I say it's to much saying I don't love his daughter and I should want to do all this. Just need some input. Thanks.
Sorry you are dealing with
Sorry you are dealing with this. I have a feeling that what I'm going to say, a lot of others will also say. HIS kid, HIS responsibility. DO NOT pick her up. That's on BM and BD. It's not your job. If there is no other option, you should be paid to do it. IMO anyway. If you weren't in the picture, what would they do? Hire someone to be a sitter? If you are the sitter, you should be paid.
Define simple rules - no stickers on the walls is a no brainer, Good God. And Dad should enforce those rules.
If he's non receptive, take your child and leave. He's already showing you a glimpse of the future. Give him ONE chance to get his shit together, then leave if he doesn't.
Good Luck
Sounds like your BF and the
Sounds like your BF and the BM have a nanny (you).
No, you should not want to do all of this, she is not your child. You are being used and taken advantage of.
I appreciate your comment but
I appreciate your comment but yes I have spoke up about. I do that constantly actually. But he tries to make me feel like I'm obligated. We talk about it all the time, he's just not so understanding.
You're not obligated.
You're not obligated. Period. He is. Speaking up about it isn't working. So now it's time to do something differently. You should stop being the nanny. Actions speak louder than words.
Every one is right. So what
Every one is right. So what if he gets mad...he's your bf, not your daddy, not your boss. I'm sure you get mad on a daily basis and he isn't that concerned with it. That girl is not yours to worry about. If he's going to continue to treat you this way, you need to get out as fast as you can because once you've established you're a doormat for both parents to use it isn't easy getting them to abide by boundaries.
Thank you for the input!
Thank you for the input!