I just wanted to vent my frustration about my boyfriends ex. Needless to say I was shocked when i met his 3 1/2 year old daughter and she was STILL in a pull up!

He had just moved back to the town I and his daughter live when I met him. So he couldn't take the time to train her himself (plus, he is a little clueless on exactly what to do bless his heart). But his ex, who has 2 older children, and who doesn't work so she just sits at home with her child ALL day...was too LAZY to bother to train her. When I asked her about how she was working on training her she gave me some story about how the child is afraid of the toilet? And yet by her 3rd weekend at our place and 1 little potty sticker chart...she is now 100% potty trained...she'll wake up and go by herself, doesn't wet the bed anymore, whether we are out in public, swimming, whatever...she'll let us know she has to go. So in 6 days, spread apart...she was trained.

WHY COULDN'T HER MOTHER WHO SITS AT HOME WITH HER 24/7 HAVE DONE THIS???

Now that the potty training is done (thank goodness)...my main concern is the child's language. I just began Graduate School to become a Speech-Language Pathologist... and trust me it doesn't take a professional to tell RIGHT AWAY that the child is SEVERELY behind where she should be. She has a vocabulary of only about 40 words i'd say... and barley speaks, and speaks incorrectly. I'd say she has the speech of maybe a 1.5-2 year old. When i try to discuss this with her BM she just says "i don't think my daughter has a problem"... and get's upset with me. So i've been trying my best to work with her and give her free services...but seeing that she spends the majority of her time at home, i really want the mother to be involved! But she won't...and i have no idea what on earth goes on at her house, if the child is in a language rich environment...it's just so frustrating!! How do you not want to do what's best for your child??

And it get's so disheartening when the child is here, and her dad and i are constantly playing we her, learning with her, and doing fun things...and yet she'll still sometimes say "i wan go home see mama". It just makes me want to scream sometimes... i know her home is what she used to... but it gets so frustrating that i care so much and put so much effort into this child and she always says she wants her 'mama' who i know can't be doing anywhere near the amount of fun stuff or attention that we do!

Gosh...sometimes i wonder what i've gotten myself into. I don't know if i was ready to become a 'step parent'...but apparently that's God's plan right now... it's just a lot to take in for a 23 year old who has never really been around children. I know it sounds bad...but sometimes i wish i didn't care so much about her and her well being, it's a lot of stress on an already stressed out Grad Student.