I would totally do it.

Read that shit!! Nao!! lol

READ IT!!!

I feel strongly that the right thing to do is to walk away BUT...if you do read it, you must tell!

If you read it, promise yourself that you will NEVER let her know that you read it. No matter what's in there. My own mother did that to me as a tween and I still don't forgive her for that (not that she's ever asked for forgiveness...she laughs about it).

Errrrghhhhh..... don't do it! lol You're going to read something in there that's going to make it impossible to even pretend you like SD. I bought my SD13 a diary, and it calls to me at night and when she's at school. But I think about what I vent about where she's concerned and ..... you get the picture. I don't think I need to know what she thinks of me at this point.

I don't want to flame or seem mean, but is it too much to instead think of her as not horrid and realize that nastiness she may have is due to her mother? Hate the mother, not the child who is influenced by the crazy Don't read it. Your resentment of her will get worse and you don't need that. Save yourself the grief.

I don't want to flame or seem mean, but is it too much to instead think of her as not horrid and realize that nastiness she may have is due to her mother? Hate the mother, not the child who is influenced by the crazy Don't read it. Your resentment of her will get worse and you don't need that. Save yourself the grief.

I would say once the child hits 13-16 Kids are a$$holes regardless..

Read it. IMO it's no different than when I checked out SD's iPad and found a goldmine--BM had her phone and the iPad on the same stream, so there were topless selfies and underwear selfies on there. LOL (I was sooooooo tempted to email them to myself for use at a later date, but karma.)

I'm with Echo on this subject. Do not violate her privacy or your integrity by reading something so personal. Treat her the way you want to be treated.

I wouldn't read the diary because if she finds out it will be hell for you. When my younger sister found my diary and took it to school to share with her friends I was livid and more so because my mum didn't think there was anything wrong with it.

At 12 she's probably a mess emotionally anyway - well most 12 year olds are so she's bound to write about boys, girls she hates at school ad probably have your name next to a picture of a fire breathing monster. You're probably expecting that.

unless she has serious issues that could lead to self harm then reading it will be a way to help her? If you do read it don't ever let her or anyone else in your household know what you did as you will lose all credibility in a micro second.

Having said that I plan to instal software on our home computer once the skids are old enough to use the computer(they will probably use personal devices anyway). When it comes to shared computer space I think i have the right to know what the skids and my skids are doing.

Oh hell yes you read the diary. A parent must utilize all information sources available to parent effectively.

Diaries are awesome tools for addressing behavior if you have access to them.

My XW's diary among other things gave me the leverage I needed to force her to abide by our original agreement during our divorce.

I gave her the diary but not until I made a copy and then duplicated that copy and had several copies notarized. When she got shitty I gave her a notarized copy and told her that she abides by our original agreement that she stipulated or everything would go in the pot, everything about our marriage would become public record, and the Judge could decide the outcome. She got in line in a hurry.

I know I'm going to get some scornful comments about this but yes I would read it. Not just to find another reason to dislike someone. Truth is there might be an irrational reason she is like that and it may seem rational to her but then at least you would know if it could be fixed. However, I don't believe in children having exclusive privacy. My childrens phones, tablets, etc are all fair game to me. They know that too and know that no matter what they try to hide I will find it.
Privacy can be a dangerous thing in todays's world. Kids are turning to drugs, violence, sex, etc to cope with just about everything. I think it is a parents job to pry and spy. I don't use anything against them that I find out, I don't hold grudges, but I do address certain things that must be addressed.

"this 24 year old guy, her new boyfriend and how she told him she's 18. All her plans for a week-end with this man was dotted and plotted in the journal,"
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

A 12 year old girl's right to safety and guidance far, far, far out-trumps her right to privacy. These days more and more kids are even being recruited to join jihad. There's no telling what manner of danger you might find in a kid's diary. My dh won't monitor SD15's phone or anything else and I've told him it's a mistake. We agree to disagree. But then I take the next step and tell him no teen baby is gonna get raised in our house so he better find other ways of monitoring and guiding her behavior.

I think it is immoral to expose a kid to possible danger rather than be a responsible parent. Read the diary. Never tell the girl. Whether you tell DH is your call, depending on your relationship. But be a responsible parent and look for signs of possible danger to this child in your care.

To me it's like witnessing signs of illness in a child then refusing to "violate their privacy" by taking their temperature.

Growing up I had a diary but knew if my parents found out they'd read it. They did. It saved me from a few things I was on the path to do.

Since when do our kids get that much privacy. I go through my kids stuff, they know, including BS13's cellphone. I want to know what's going on with them.

I bet you will be appalled by what may be written. I had detailed out a plan to crash a party and get with a guy in mine, guess what, didn't happen. LOL

Hats off to your amazing self control Jelly! But...I'm kinda annoyed. I was so looking forward to what you'd find. }:)