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Didn't realize it was going to be this hard.

losinghope13's picture

I've only been married a year and I can't believe all we have through thanks to bm. I love ss2 but I really just can't handle 16 more years of this. I am stressed out all the time, I'm worried about money, it's hard for me to find a job because of the custody time we have basically relies on me getting ss and watching him bc we can afford childcare. I recently had a miscarriage (I believe was due to stress) I am constantly resenting dh for impregnating the bipolar sociopath swine bm. I tried to be nice to her and I can't. Her constant lies make me want to rip my hair out. I am done already, I can't handle this woman. We have spent 1000's of dollars all for nothing because she still won't let us have ss and the law doesn't seem to give a crap about fathers rights.
I feel horrible but I wish hd could sign his rights away because I don't care anymore. I want my baby and I want to start my family, not just be stressed all the time because poor ss is living in the slums with his pos bm living off welfare and her married boyfriend. We have had multiple attorneys and gone to multiple hearings, it's not worth it to me. I can spend the next almost 20 years like this. I love my husband and can't imagine being without him. How am I supposed to get through all this without resenting dh or ss Sad

ChiefGrownup's picture

"How am I supposed to get through all this without resenting dh or ss?"

You won't.

The resentment is inevitable, apparently. I'm only abut 6 months ahead of you, btw. That first year is really hard.

If you are really committed to him, do your very best to remember the two of you are a team. The enemy is outside the door. Take every chance you can to strengthen your bond together, because that bond is going to take a lot of hits.

losinghope13's picture

Thank you, that's actually really good advice.
I love my dh more than anything, he is also very wonderful to me, which is why I hate feeling resentment towards him. I know we can make it through, it's just good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way! Sad

coping's picture

I have no advice, but I FEEL for you. I really do. I love my DH, he is a great man, husband and father. But his ex is such a BITCH I wished we had not met. Sad to say, but true. Life is hard daily b/c of her.

losinghope13's picture

I definitely understand. It's so frustrating and hard. It makes me feel like a horrible person to wish bm and ss didn't exist Sad