Amending custody?
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Is there anyway to amend custody without court? Maybe something like, bm and dh agree to a new schedule and they have a paralegal draw it up and then go duke it with the court?
I won't allow dh to deviate from the current order but bm is now willing to give up some of her visitation.
Yes I believe you can. Back
Yes I believe you can. Back when DW and Donkeykong couldn't agree on certain terms stipulated in the CO (Is Halloween a whole day, or just the 2 hours spend trick-or-treating?), they got together with their lawyers and created an addendum to the existing CO. The sole puprose of the addendum was to clarify portions of the CO that were vague. Once DW and Donkeykong agreed to it, they each signed it along with their respective lawyers. By my understanding, normally any CO can be ammended (at least temporarily) if both parties can agree to it in writing.
BM will not contribute any
BM will not contribute any money towards any ammendment. I guarantee it.
DH would have to get her to agree to something, (giving up summer visitation/ keeping the standard schedule all year long - which she's been hinting at to SS14) and then have papers drawn up for her to sign. Of course, she'd never drive the full hour to our lawyer / paralegal to sign them...She's drama. High Conflict. PITA!
Your SS is 14? Ammending the
Your SS is 14? Ammending the CO may not be worth the time and money since your SS is getting old enough to decide who he wants to spend time with.
I don't know the exact
I don't know the exact legalities from state to state, but what I can tell you from experience is that if you deviate from the settlement agreement on your own, and put a different visitation schedule into action, if one of you chooses to revert back to the settlement, it would be difficult in court because you've already changed the status quo. For example, my settlement agreement states XH gets kids Tues/Thurs from 5pm-8pm and every other weekend, Sat 9am-Sun 8pm. We've changed the weekends to start Friday at 5pm-Sunday 5pm. If I all of a sudden said "no, we need to revert back" a judge probably wouldn't let me because we've had the new schedule in so long.
You don't have to go to court
You don't have to go to court to modify your decree. Some legal professional draws it up, you both sign it, file with the court and the judge will stamp it.