Child Suport
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My DH has twokids, one is in the state system because she is disabled and the other is with us. They have no court order in place for custody and live in different states. I really want to sign mother up for support but we are scared that would backfire because of them not having a court order about custody. We live paycheck to paycheck and can't afford a lawyer and mother doesn't work and lives off others. The child support would help with food and that's about it but does anyone know what legal ramifications would happen if child support is asked for w/o a court order for custody?
If Mom doesn’t work and lives
If Mom doesn’t work and lives off of others you might not get much from her. Even if she was ordered to pay and couldn’t a debt would just accrue and she can be held responsible (possibly jail time), but if she doesn’t have any money then I doubt you’ll get anything from her. You can do a custody hearing st the same time, but they mightvawatd Mom visiting time too possibly. If the need for extra support Is for food are you able to qualify for government cash assistance or food stamps possibly? Maybe if the BM was held to the fire she’d get a job and help out. In either case, good luck!!
There are many situations
There are many situations where two unmarried people hook up without getting married and never have a CO for custody. Generally the status quo stands and the parent in possession has "custody" but that could change if the other parent were to have visitation and refuse to return the child. Then a court battle could ensue and the judge would have to decide whether to uphold the status quo. In that case there are no guarantees, and it can be costly and drag on a long time.
If DH qualified for and got food stamps, the state would go after BM for money, but being married to you he might not qualify.
If BM is a barfly you probably won't get anything out of her. Most states have a minimum CS regardless of income. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have that debt on the books in case BM finds a sugar daddy.
Applying for CS is free in most states, just have DH go to the county courthouse clerk's office and ask them for help.
How is BM supporting
How is BM supporting herself?
Writing she lives off of others is random and not factual. Are you saying she moves from house to house with a disabled child? WHO does she live with. Is she married? Shacked up...Married and pretending to be separated so she can work the system?
what I do know is the following.
YOU said one child is disabled. What is the disability?
Ok what that tells me is the child receives money from the state every month. BM is the person the check goes to. AND the child also has Medicaid AND foodstamps AND wic if applicable AND daycare vouchers (if applicable) therapies in home or in a therapeutic setting. BM may also receive greatly reduced housing costs.
Since BM appears to have no way to support a disabled child I have to ask why your DH doesn't have custody of that child.
I know this does not answer your main question...but I can answer that because I not getting past this disabled child part.
The well being of this child should be first---
JMO
I'm not sure of the make-up
I'm not sure of the make-up of what's what with this one either. The disabled SD is an eighteen year old young adult. OP wrote about her Dh having to provide health insurance for the SD (I imagine some sort of semblance of a Medicaid premium as the father claims his employee insurance is cost prohibitive).
If OP's DH has the younger minor and BM has the older disabled young lady (Cs can go past age depending on extent of disability of person), which parent really owes which one CS? And does the BM not work and instead is a SAH care giver to a very disabled young lady?
Lots of questions on this one. What makes the father any less responsible for the disabled daughter than the mother is of the minor kid?
Too many unknowns in this.
OP states the disabled child
OP states the disabled child is in the state system.
I'm not sure exactly what that means but it doesn't sound like BM is caring for her.
Frustrating when authors of
Frustrating when authors of posts go crickets.
I hear ya twoviewpoints---is disabled child bedridden and needs 24/7 care?
What a second,
What makes BM less responsible for child that is NOT disabled then dad is of minor child HE has?
Right back at ya twoviewpoints
IS bm really caring for disabled child? Or pretending too.