I was married for nearly 20 years to a man who always made me feel nothing I ever did was good enough. It took a lot of courage and strength to get out of that relationship, especially as I knew I would be a single mother to 5 children. Since I left, I have realised that I'm pretty good at most things I do, and have eventually fou.d some self confidence.
2 1/2 years ago, I met my partner. He is a full time single father to 1 son, now aged 12. 9 months ago, we all (myself and my 3 youngest children - eldest 2 now left home. And my partner and his son) moved in together. I got on really well with his son, and thought I still did. But recently have been having some issues that are putting a serious strain on our relationship. In short, he is telling his father things that aren't true, and his father always believes him over me.
For example, the kid gets occasional headaches. He has been given medication from our doctor for this. So I call his school to let them know. I discuss at some length with the school all the details, when and how much medication he should have. Tell them to call me if he needs to be given this, then I also put all this in writing to the school along with his pills, to make sure its all done correctly.
So one day, he calls home sick. I offer to go to the school to collect him and take him home. When he gets home, he just wants his dad, which is fine. I understand that no matter how much I do for him, I'm not his Mother, and don't expect him to have the same bond with me as he does with his father. So his Dad takes him up to bed, then comes downstairs some time later fuming angry at me because the kid has told him I was angry at him when I picked him up from school!? I obviosly stood my ground because I knew this wasn't true, but could tell he believed his son not me.
Anyway, my partner has recently started a new job, and is away from home sometimes 14 hours a day. I am at home full time caring for my own 3 sons, and my stepson. The lying about me is becoming more and more frequent, to the point that I am actually worried about bei.g alone with him. Just today he had another. Jeadache, and was talking with his father about it and told him I never believe him when he says he has headaches. I am the one who collects his medication from the pharmacy, I am the one who made sure a plan was in place for him of he was ill at school, I am the one who offered to collect him from school, it's me who cleans up his sick, and brings him drinks, and asks how he's feeling, and makes sure he gets some rest, when his father is at work!. I treat him exactly as I would any of my own kids if he's ill.
It's really upsetting me. His father gets angry with me whenever the kid tells him things. I've never given him any reason to not trust me with his son. Sometimes I almost feel like he expects me to treat him better than I would my own kids!. But after 20 years of being made to feel never good enough, I find myself being made to feel the same way by a 12 year old kid. I don't know why he's doing this! I sometimes think he's trying to come between me and his father. He knows his father believes his every word, so he's using his lies as a weapon.