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Not the same fool I was a year ago!!!!

goincrazy.com's picture

I need to give myself more credit! I know I have come a long way. I see it, my therapist see's it, my mom see's it. Now don't get me wrong I still get all bent out of shape about some shit but I have grown in a nearly impossible family dynamic, I may come out with a chip on my shoulder but I'm learning from these fucked up situations I find myself in.
With the pressure we get from our DH's, in laws, skids and our own family and friends who make sure to tell us "we knew what we were getting into" (BULLSHIT btw) we need to give ourselves more credit because we constantly have the shitty end of the stick, then we think we can get through whatever is going on the skid stabs us in the heart with the shit end of the stick!!!

LOL, ok, I might be getting carried away.

After my psycho episode after last years prom pics I vowed to never go again. FDH on Saturday says "SD16 called, she has prom pics at such and such park at 5"............F#$% NO!!!! I'm not going! He pouted, guilt tripped me, said "I'm not trying" and went by his damn self }:) The plans changed like 8 times, they gave him the wrong place to go AND I didn't have to be angry or resentful about any of it. I didn't care that she told her dad the same day of prom that they were taking pics, they changed times,places, plans, nothing. I didn't care bc it didn't affect me!!! It was great! FDH was over me not going when he pulled in the driveway. Hasn't been brought up since. Oh, I'm sure it will in the future but I stood my ground.

1 week ago today SD16 broke her 6 week silent treatment against FDH, still isn't talking to me (boo f'n hoo) and she just had prom and her birthday is in a few weeks. Coincidence? I think not.......... I can't stand her ass but not letting FDH drag me into their problems and avoiding her like the plague is working wonders!

A year ago even, I never wanted FDH to think I wasn't "trying", I let him guilt trip me bc he "needed" me to be there. I knew I didn't want to go, I knew it would give SD16 an opportunity to snub me and she did.

This year, I put a cute outfit on, curled my hair, drank a glass of wine and headed to the mall with my bio. FDH met me in the driveway, jumped in and was so lovey dovey towards me. We all had a wonderful evening together Smile

thinkthrice's picture

I stopped going to all the "phone it in" events just to sit there and watch BM flap her lips to all her friends. She wasn't even LOOKING at the skids on the playing field. It would be different if the skids truly WANTED to participate, but they were forced into it by BM to:

1. jack up CS for extra curriculars
2. take away one on one time with biodad
3. make it look like BM is MOTY
4. socializing opportunity for BM
5. control biodad's schedule from afar

Good for you to give up the mad circuses!!

frustratedstepdad's picture

Good for you! Keep standing your ground! That's the only way things get changed. My SD used to be bad about texting me at the last minute asking for a ride home from work. Didn't matter if I was in the middle of a workout, shopping whatever. She would always wait until she was done with work, used to piss me off.

So one time I picked her up and told her that she knows all day long what time she's going to get off of work, so in the future she needs to ask me earlier in the day so I can plan around it. Of course she paid me no mind and did the same thing the very next day. I told her I was busy and won't be able to do it. Then she tried a few more times and I refused each time. Then she finally got the picture.

ocs's picture

amazing... our SD broke her silence with DH 2 wks before her birthday and Xmas, and since now is grad and prom season, she has been a complete sugar pot with him. Amazing how that works and they don't see it.

goincrazy.com's picture

I can't stand it. She is SO predictable. Drives me nuts, FDH pays child support and frankly she is not nice to him or I and I don't think she deserves shit. FDH is going to shower her with gifts I'm sure and we will have to take her out to dinner......I'm going to get drunk. It's about the only way I'll be able to tolerate her sorry ass LOL