Dreading summer break!!
Last night I cried myself to sleep thinking about the day school lets out for summer break. I am at stay at home mom to my bioDD2, SS11 & SS13. The SS live with us full time. BM only picks up SS11 every other weekend if we are lucky. SS13 is a smart ass lazy brat who thinks he is entitled to the world without having to do anything but complain & play Xbox while laying in my bed. Both boys fight over everything all the time. SS11 isn't as bad but is dumb & lazy & only a smart ass about 20% of the time. SS13 has no friends so he is in the house with me 24/7. Last summer there was a rare day when someone asked him to come over. I was rocking my baby to sleep & SS13 comes barging in & starts talking very loud. I told him to leave the room & I'd be out in a minute. A few seconds later I got a text it said " I can't go my step moms being a bitch!" He obviously did not mean to send it to me. There is never any consequences for him. DH treats him like a buddy. I have been their SM for 5 years & my 3rd summer home all day with them. Just thinking about what life is going to be like in 4 weeks gives me anxiety & depression. DH says well at least you get to stay home....I would rather go to work but don't have a sitter for DD.
I did show SS13. I told him
I did show SS13. I told him oh you haven't seen bitch yet!! As for the wine Chardonnay is my best friend!
Oh, I'm right there with you!
Oh, I'm right there with you! There will be summer guard practice starting in August, and DH will try to get me to do the pick ups, since I work from home. I did this last year, and SD15 is NEVER where she is supposed to be, and I end up wasting time and getting in trouble with my boss because he cannot get hold of me for more than an hour! I won't do it this year!!!!
The rest of the time, SD15 will be lazy, and loud. All day, in and out of her room and her bathroom...slamming doors (I swear, she doesn't know how to close any door nomrally...house doors, car doors, fridge doors, cabinet doors...they all get slammed all the time). I've stopped buying junk food, but she will have the munchies and will be in and out of the kitchen the whole time looking to see if any junk food magically appeared in the last 30 minutes (as she refuses to eat healthy food). Then, she will try to get friends to come over, which after the last incident, DH needs to be reminded that friends are NOT allowed here while I'm working (a few weeks ago, SD15 texted him and asked if a friend could come over without asking me, and then got attitude with me when the friend arrived and I told her I did not allow friends while I'm working because they ALWAYS get too loud).
UGH...going to be a long summer!
I read your post about ask DH
I read your post about ask DH when he wasn't the one home. Your SD sounds exactly like my SS! They are probably friends on FB! LOL!
Can you put the skids in a
Can you put the skids in a camp? It will be good for them and for you! I don't know what your CO states, but mine says that the non CP needs to pay for child care and camps. Your sanity is worth looking into that. Good luck! I can't even imagine what it would be like living with my skids full time.
I tried last year to put them
I tried last year to put them in a camp. They are too lazy & SS13 doesn't want to meet new people. I can't make them & DH won't. BM is court ordered to pay $26 a week per child & is $3000 behind. I do think I'm going to get a day time summer job & put DD in daycare no matter what the cost!
I know I'm not in your shoes,
I know I'm not in your shoes, but why can't you make them? They are minors. Have their dad drop their assess of before he leaves in the morning. Your DH needs to take care of his wife. Period.
Need to find a boot camp for
Need to find a boot camp for SD15! LOL Someplace where they won't take her crap, and maybe she would come back a more humble person?
Mother's Day sucks too! Since
Mother's Day sucks too! Since BM doesn't get them I'm stuck with them. The best present they could give me is to leave me alone! But it will be like every other day I'm sure
Yes. I'd tell them they need
Yes. I'd tell them they need to leave the house daily and play outside or you'll be sending them to the boy's club, youth center, rec club, library - anything.
Steph0820 I totally agree!
Steph0820 I totally agree! On Mother's Day I would rather just get the house to myself since the SD doesn't know how to be quiet to save her life! My daughter is 11 and she loves to go outside an play and when it's a rainy day she will go in her room and curl up with a good book. Not his kid, she has to be "entertained" 24/7 and I just don't get it.
My mom put us outside and
My mom put us outside and would lock the door until lunchtime LOL
Mother's Day? Bah Humbug.
Mother's Day? Bah Humbug. Just like the past 3 years I expect NOTHING at all from my skids. WHy should this day be any different than Christmas or my birthday. I'm not their mom, I'm constantly reminded of that. So expect nothing and don't get upset when that's what I get. Learning this lesson, I now don't do a damned thing for them on their birthdays or Christmas either. They are their dad's kids, NOT mine...as they so aptly point out. He can deal with them. Expect nothing and nobody gets hurt.
I tried telling DH this last
I tried telling DH this last summer about a week end when SD15 started driving me crazy!! He did set it up that SD15 went to SIL's to hang out with her cousin, but that won't be an option this year, as SIL is pregnant and is having a difficult time of it (has been really ill, super tired all the time, etc.). BS19 leaves in August for college, but he will be working full weeks before he goes...sad for me.
I'm hoping that DH can get MIL to help. I know that isn't any better, but considering BM doesn't ever leave the house, and SD15 gets into even more trouble over there (the kind that involves smoking pot), spending the summer with BM is out of the question...especially since SD15 hates her stepfather more than me!
You girls are awesome! Thank
You girls are awesome! Thank you for all the great advice! I've been on here for 1 day & finally feel like I have great friends to talk to
I feel a little more empowered! I think over the last 5 years I have lost my own identity & voice because it's just seems easier at the time to not rock the boat every 5 minutes. But your right I do feel like I'm being used as a freaking doormat. I am going to take the advice about no electronics during the day...no controllers means no butts sitting on the couch! Thanks girls!