in exactly ( drumroll please ) 4 hours and 10 minutes.

Bags, shoes, socks thrown everywhere. Every 2 minutes SS10 changes his clothes, and it all goes in the laundry basket. Blank stares, complaining about food, SD7 still cant wipe her ass correctly and after the first night in her freshly washed sheets, her bed will stink like a Chinese toilet again. Disgusting. Tantrum after tantrum until they get shuttled off to mommy's again on Monday. Not interested in much unless it involves on " on " button and a remote control.

The only thing that has prevented me from setting myself on fire in BM's front yard, is my... ( oh god, its a beautiful word...) D U P L E X. I live in a duplex. Best decision in my whole freaking life. A duplex, for all you poor souls who have to share a single family home or apartment with SKIDS ( I shudder while I type this ) is a house that looks like a house but its actually ( now screeching with an emotional voice ) TWO HOUSES IN ONE !!!! Separate by walls, and stone, and drywall and DOORS WITH LOCKS ON THEM !!!! There is a connecting door between the 2 self contained units which I consider having booby trapped, and patrolled by a large German Shepherd who hates children.

So SKIDS , you stinky brats , come on over - you wont see much of me. I have already barricaded the connecting door with my big bookshelf, and I will be in the bathtub, or reading my favorite book , or laying on the beach, or watching foreign movies which you 2 morons have no clue what this is about. Oh, and if you think you can run around the back of the house to my side and bang on the kitchen door, make sure you go barefoot - the resident raccoon made 2 huge piles of shit on the back lawn which I left for the 2 of you to step into.
Make sure to wave goodbye on Monday at 8 !!