Sometimes for no apparent reason we really just cannot stand certain people, even kids. There is no law that says you have to love and adore ss11, but clearly he is a child and you do have to act responsibly towards him. If your son 11 had or has a step mother I'm sure you would want your son to feel welcomed by her into his fathers home. So you should treat your SS as you would want your son to be treated by a stepmother.

Perhaps you are pretty tired and hormonal at the moment and this makes even the tiniest of things glaringly obvious, so the big things would seem unbearable. But it would not be right to marry his father without first trying to get to the root of this problem.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

If what makes you detest your SS11 is that he is annoying then the problem in yours not his. But, you already know that since you are asking for opinions. I went through periods of seriously not liking being around my Skid when he was annoying. He was a very immature kid for much of his years as a minor and even at 21 has hobbies and interest more like a 15yo than a 21yo.

When I made the conscious decision to focus on his positive qualities my feelings towards him improved significantly. We did not have any significant behavior issues with him just annoying immature crap.

You have a choice. Give up your family or get over your issues with SS11.

I chose to be my SS's dad rather than give up my marriage to my amazing bride. After I made that choice we were able to become a very close family. SS21 is working his maturity issues on his own time and by his own initiative now. He is still lagging IMHO but has gained enough maturity to recognize that he is immature and has made decisions that prevent his immaturity from negatively impacting his progress as a viable adult. He has credited the example and support of his mom and I in how well he is doing which is in direct counterpoint to how F-ed up his Sperm Clan is.

At least in our case this is an issue that can be dealt with successfully.

Good luck.

As a pregnant woman, I'm going to tell you to step away from any major decisions (like walking away from a family) until you have control of your hormones, mind, and body. Right now, you might be your own worse enemy, and simple things might turn into WWIII.

That being said, it is normal for kids that age to want to be the center of attention especially when he went from being the baby of the family to being a middle child. Give him time to be the center of attention so that he knows that he doesn't have to fight for that attention all the time.

And like the other ladies said, don't focus so much on the one flaw. Focus on all the other great qualities that make him a great kid.

I understand how you feel OP. I married my DH in June and I do not like and can't stand his S12 at all. I don't want anything to do with him etc. And I am ok with that. I leave DH's kid to DH. I keep myself out of the mix and involve myself if/when I CHOOSE. I am not a "fan" of skid for pretty much the same reasons as you shared. Skid is a whiney, bratty, sore losing, brat and he is/has been an ass to my BS10 when they have been around eachother but thankfully my DH doesn't put up with his sons shitty behavior and attitude. My DH would drop that kid off at BM's doorstep if he ever disrespected him, us, our home or our marriage in any way.

I think as the others do, I think that the hormones are playing a role in this BUT I also know just from experience that skids can be a pain in the ass and as much as we love and adore our DH/SOs we don't have to like/love their kids. They are their own seperate person with their own individual attitudes, beliefs, etc and those things can be the polar opposite from the man we love, hence why they "grate on our nerves". My advice, don't give up on your perfect man just yet, find ways of dealing with the skid you can't stand. There are always ways to deal, you just have to find what works for YOU! But if you truly believe it is too much to deal with then don't settle and spend the rest of your life miserable.

I hope everything works out for you!

I agree with all the others that advise focusing on the positive instead

My YSD's behavior used to get under my skin big time as well as she seemed so attention-seeking (and getting from DH and everyone else)

Like Rags, I had to make a conscious decision to get over that and hey...I even discovered when I poured a little attention on her myself she grew closer to me LOL

Today, SD still needs and still is the centre of attention in her family and says and does what she can to keep it that way. I ignore this about her and focus on the nice things about her. She has turned into a thoughtful, appreciate woman and I look forward to spending time with her. Yes, she still needs to be the centre of attention and DH always makes sure she is, but over and above that she is thoughtful and a sweet person and I love those qualities in her!