My Partner went through a very messy, very drawn out divorce in April this year. He has 3 children with his ex wife. He gained custody of his youngest daughter. We have now applied to move his daughter to live with us in my home town. I am expecting a baby in February next year.

His two oldest children will be visiting us for the first time after the divorce for Christmas. They have been completely turned by their BM against him and did not react well to the news of the baby, or the relocation. The oldest daughter is not much younger than me and has already admitted that she has no interest in getting to know me, or being part of an extended family that I am involved in, and the youngest has said the same. They have even threatened to try to take the youngest daughter away.

The BM has been living in another country since the divorce and is incredibly emotional and volitile. She has outbursts at the yougest (she is 8yrs) over phone calls and does whatever she can to make it clear that the youngest should not be happy in her new school, and that I am a wicked witch.

My relationship with my partner is increibly strong, but this divorce has nearly pushed him over the edge, having nearly lost his daughters and had to sit through hours of screaming and damnation which in reality, and even the professionals agree, the BM is doing the harm. She has used the children wherever possible to retaliate.

I am very concerned that the visit of his children at a time when we have settled into a loving home where I have a good relationship with his youngest daughter and he is finally not having to deal with the stress on a daily basis, is going to cause a huge amount of disturbance in the youngest daughter's life, as well as stress on our unborn baby.

I am not sure how to deal with the older children at all having never met them (as they live overseas) and them living with us for 3 weeks. Any help or advice on how I / we should act when they come at us in force would be much appreicated!