Hey Elizabethlouise, you will quickly see on this site that there are many, many of us who don't like our step kids. We resent their intrusion into our blissful world. I often use the work invaded to describe how it is when they are around. And my SK's are not 'likeable' either.

I have been doing this step parent gig for 5 years and I remember my Mother saying that I was being mean about them (when my DH and I first got together). Then she got to know them too and now she also thinks they are 'weirdos', in fact my whole family say the same thing about them.

Like you I wish I had my DH all to myself - but that's not going to happen.

A Step parent is in a no win role

Im new here but i feel the same way!!!! My bf has 6 kids. we only see 3 of them at the moment 10,7,3 all girls. the older two are with us all summer and holidays and the youngest is here whenever her psycho mother lets her be here. I cant wait for the older two to go home! my summer has sucked! we can never do anything with out them ever! and all they do is fight and complain and say that he loves me more than them. Its b.s. I like them and i feel bad for them cuz there BM is a retard and doesnt really want them but still no excuse for the behavior. To top it all off my daughter just moved here full time she is 12 and i compare her to pigpen off the peanuts cartoon. we are crammed in a small apt no room for mess. i am a neatfreak which doesnt help and she is here with us now as she lived with my mom for a year because of her behavior issues, but my BF is in law enforcement so she is getting a wake up call. The worst part about the kids is that daddy is sooo bad with consistency. he never follows thru on anything or he over reacts. So then when i make him follow thru the kids say im mean and they dont like me. His youngest is a holy terror she screams all the time and hits everyone in the face and she will not even acknowledge me. He says cuz i dont interact with her but i think its her mothers influence. I mean a normal 3yro wouldnt outright ignore a person. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and the worst part is i sold my home to come here with him moved states and all that crap. and any free weekend he gets he goes back home and takes the kids and i rarely go cuz i need a break from them. and i think "INVADED" is a perfect term. i wish there was a solution other than the countdown til their 18! lol

This is a unworkable situation unless you can completely bury your feelings. The kids deserve better than this - all of them.

*********************

There's an exception to everything I say.

is 100 percent right. This is a terrible situation for all. Save yourself, your child and his children.

Two bedrooms? You aren't married to him. 4 kids? You don't like his kids? You feel invaded. The girls' mother lets him keep them for weeks at a time and they are 2 & 4?

Yup, not a good scene. How old are you two?

I once compared having my Skid's around to being invaded by a swarm of locusts. They eat everything, destroy the calm, and get everyting dirty. Leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. Your place is too small for all those people. You might feel differently if you had more space and if the visitations were more regular. I know that helped me after my Skid's came unexpecetedly to live with my Dh and I. The first year was hell in a two bedroom apartment.

I am a married mum to 4 great kids 8,6,4 and 18 months and a stepson who is 14. Right now you are mum to a baby...he hasnt learnt to annoy you yet! But he will I really feel for the two kids when you are able to say that you dont love/like them as they annoy you. Lucky for the ten year old that she is older and self sufficient, able to help you out, hold conversations and not hassle you for a whole lot more. The other two are still babies! they are finding their way in the world and yes they are annoying....all little kids are! But they need someone with more patience than what you obviously have. Im going to assume that you are pretty young and selfish at the moment. Basically unless you are prepared to take on the whole package,, BF, kids and all, then you shouldnt be around these kids. They are far more perceptive than you realise and your attitude toward them now will stick forever in their minds. A lot of ppl feel the way you do, but suck it up princess, act like a grown up,and treat these kids the way you would want your son treated if he had to go stay with another woman. Good luck

If I didn't like my ss6 there would be A LOT of issues to be handled and treating him like he us treating me isn't going to solve anything. Our little guy comes home on a Sunday visit from his other mothers being a complete ass to me! I can't take it out on him because it's his BM brainwashing him. I take the things he says an doe in stride.
Does ur BF allow u to discipline? I'd be setting up some rules and consequences real fast!
The children sound old enough to pick up after themselves, have them do it, if they don't then help them.
We are role models for these children! I know I am the best I can be with our guy, cuz his bm is a worthless POS!

Good luck!