Filing contempt
I'm a little intrigued if anyone has had success with filing a contempt of the custody order in place.
I think my husband should file contempt on against BM.
Last school year, we literally got two papers all year long from her. We weren't told about trips and school functions until the last minute (BM told us the day spring break started about a trip that would take place the following week on the Monday school resumed).
I attempted to contact the teacher early in the school year through email and the teacher assured me, when I was at the school, that she could easily create a second folder for dads house- however, nothing was done. I didn't push it anymore and gave the teacher's information to husband, who I don't believe did anything about it either.
He did start making calls to the school once BM finally let him in on the fact that SS was getting physically bullied in class (yes, not just at lunch or on the playground, but in the actual classroom where learning should be taking place). It seemed to me, husband was only brought in because BM lacks the confrontation bone and/or realized she couldn't get any straight answers from the administration or any regret from the bully's father when she talked to him.
Now, I realize all these events happened last school year, so perhaps we have to wait until it's more current. Also there is nothing specific in the custody order about school information, just the general 'both parents will keep each informed of activities regarding child'.
I don't know if he should send BM a message stating that he expects more contact from her regarding school activities for this school year, this way when she fails to do so, he can file contempt and have it be more recent events with the documentation to back it all up.
Yes this! DH needs to put his
Yes this!
DH needs to put his daddy pants on and speak with the school and the teacher and asked to be added to all email, phone and mailing lists in regards to his child.
He can't just e left the BM to "inform" him of everything going on. She's no longer his wife and though it's commendable that she offer up and share info, dad should not depend on BM for this.
This isn't a CO issue, it a
This isn't a CO issue, it a your DH is not doing his due diligence as a parent issue. It's HIS job to call the school, the teacher, etc. BM has no obligation to speak with him about any of it unless she cares to.
I wish you could tell BM
I wish you could tell BM this. BM got in court and told the judge that DH and I purposely went to the kids school on each of her Fridays to remove the kids folders so that she wouldn't get to see what is in them. Then she said that DH and I told the school not to call/text or email her with any reminders or information and not to ever send home any papers or notices when kids go to BM house.
If she'd done her part, she'd have known, the schools don't send folders on Fridays, the district only ever sends notices when there is a big football game or city wide event coming up (reminders that DH had to sign up for on the school website) and because both DH and I work, there is no way in heaven or hell that either of us has the time to pull off any of the crap that BM claims that we have done.
The problem is that BM wanted and still wants, DH to spoon feed her the information about her children when what needs to happen is that BM needs to recall that this is a public school and unless she has been banned, no one has the to tel her that she cannot go to the school and handle whatever business she deems necessary.
I have to agree with the
I have to agree with the others. This is Dh's responsibility. Even if not there is nothing in that CO language that BM's lawyer couldn't blow right out the window. "Both parents will keep each informed of activities regarding child" is worthless mumble jumble leaving wide interpretation. BM is not in contempt.
I suggest this school year your DH speak with the school directly himself. Yes, last year you asked teacher and she said she could do that, but didn't. If I were a teacher I would not stick my nose in the middle either. Your skids have an involved BM, DH isn't contacting teacher and requesting anything at all. As a teacher in that scenario I would assume after speaking to the SM and stating it was possible, that the father would do the follow up. 'Yes, that would be most appreciated if you'd make up a second folder for me'. Teacher has an obligation to communicate with the parents and/or legal guardian in your case aka BM and DH. Teachers also have numerous students and could perhaps forget...don't assume she just decided to ignore the request, follow up. Parents have as much responsibility to communicate as a teacher and/or school does. DH needs to stop relying on BM and take his father duties seriously if he wants to be in on things and informed.
I'm sure the teacher would be very willing to make an actual second folder to send home or at least email copies of any notes being sent home for DH to know about. DH will also in addition want to be sure the school admin. office knows to send copies of any information and/or concerns to DH also. Also DH should check and see if your district uses an online parent portal where parents can log on through the website and see lunch account info, teacher's gradebook, homework assignments, discipline remarks, ect. Most districts with online websites also have general calendars posted with sports events, early outs, no-school, field trips, special school activities ect. There's a good chance your skids teacher/s already have their classroom individual webpages linked through the district site.
I agree with the above that
I agree with the above that dad needs to get involved with the school himself however, you can go back to court to get stuff in the CO clarified- when the BM doesn't cooperate like she is supposed to nothing tells her "we're not messing around" like being taken back to court.
My SD's school told BM that
My SD's school told BM that they are only required to provide info to the custodial parent. Of course, BM went into the school office and started raising hell with the school staff the day SD started there, and they finally told her to leave and that acting that way in the future would get the cops called on her...
Based on my personal experience, it's pretty darn hard to get a judge to hold a woman in contempt of court. BM should have been in jail 4 times now, if memory serves. Judge hasn't done a damn thing to her.
We never once shared any
We never once shared any information about the Skids school activities with the SpermClan. Not our problem. If they wanted to know about his school activities they could use their dialing fingers and call the school themselves.
The only time anyone from the SpermClan ever called the school was to get information on school start dates and holiday break information. The only reason why the bitch from hell (SpermGrandMa) even called the school for that information was because she thought we were manipulating visitation time. Which we most certainly were not doing.
Even when armed with the schedule she still tried to manipulate to get more time with the Skid. We did not play those games and we held the SpermClan very strictly to the schedule. We would have been more flexible if they had not already established that they would lie and fabricate crap that they thought would allow them to send the kid home a day or two late. When they pulled that crap we would have DW's BFF police chief father send a car to collect the kid and give him to my ILs so that they could get him to the airport for a flight home. We had the Skid collected at SpermGrandMa's church during services, we had him collected at family meals at restaurants we had him collected at a family reunion.
I do not think you have grounds for contempt. Were I you and your DH I would cut BM out of the school loop and interface directly with the school an anything Skid related. This takes away BM's ability to manipulate the situation by with holding information.