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BM"s input in MY pregnancy... key word MINE!

lil_lady's picture

BF had court a couple days ago and it was broughten up there no one really knows about it. She sent her trade off email and informed bf that we should not to tell her and hold off for a little bit. She also feels that her and BF should sit down and tell my SD6 together. No mention about me even being there. Then she has the audacity to tell him sd has told her I have been talking to sd about baby's alot and she assumes this is to prepare sd, but to "let up on the baby talk". Our last days I told sd6 for the first time that me and her dad would like to have a baby too. Up untill now sd has just been asked how she feels about and she was very positive so we kept trying and have been slowly bringing it up more and more. Anyways I did this because I am going into second trimester and planning on telling everyone during this set of days with the kids! Maybe bm doesnt realize how far along I am I never see her but I already have a slight pouch aswell :D.

I cant believe this peice of work has such a golden uterus she figures she shouls be the boss of mine... its almost comical! No im not going to hide it when everyone else knows and Wait untill I am showing. She finished off to say congrats and she hopes we can all move on and have good futures... she btw just got an order of primary custody more child support and alimony when we have had 50/50 this entire custody battle and we already are tight with bills which she knows... I am waiting for her to figure out her payments change when this baby is born, in our province we have to submit a reassessment with any new dependants.

Aaarg blown away at the moment!

lil_lady's picture

We are we plan on having her at the ultrasound if possible bm doesnt get the kids for two weeks while we finish out the schedule so she doesnt have a choice.

AliceP's picture

BM told DH not to tell the kids about our babies too til I guess she was ready. She said "Oh they are going through a lot right now", "oh we just moved probably not a good time". She traumatizes them with all these upsets so anything we want to share with them will result in more trauma. sheesh.

Peaches's picture

BM#2 never pulled this, but she also refuses to look me in the eye or acknowledge my existence. She did, however, steal our thunder when DS1 was born. We wanted to make it a surprise for SS6 that his long awaited baby brother had arrived, but somehow BM thought it was her place to tell him. I didn't make a stink, but it did irk me. And because DS1 has an odd first name (2 normal middle names to choose from when he gets older if he wishes), she thought it would be a good idea to badmouth a newborn baby at her workplace (where DH has plenty of friends who know what she's like). DH put a stop to that. Something along the lines of, "DS1 has absolutely nothing to do with you and you have no right to be running your mouth about a newborn child". She replied with "well, it's not my fault you named him weird". Hm, funny, because all of our friends and family including his brothers don't think twice about using his first name.
Just ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy (as much as possible). It's yours and just because your child will be her child's sibling, doesn't mean a daaayum thing. And it's probably driving her nuts that she can't control any aspect of it.
And congrats!

MdMom's picture

I totally understand!! I'm pregnant with our third and BM has the same requests. Im in my second trimester, and FH and I have already discussed this with SD though she is only 3. She can grasp the concept of a baby, we have had two since we've been together. And BM thinks that we should pay CS (we have 60% custody)

It baffles me how she thinks that because we're having a baby she deserves more from us. And has to put in her requests on what we need to to with baby #3. Lol

Good luck with your pregnancy! And I hope everything goes well for you. = )

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Oh this reminds me of an incident I had. When I was pregnant with my bio daughter who is now 8, my oldest step daughter had a huge fit when she found out all worried about what her BM will think. Totally ruining the excitement for me as I had one younger SD at the time who was so excited to become a big sister. Anyways I had to in order to get my oldest SD to shut up, had to go and tell BM myself I was prego. I told her SD was worried she would be mad or something and even though BM is a crazy POS, that day she was actually decent. She congratulated me sincerely and told me she has no issues (not that I gave a crap if she had issues) but anyways then SD accepted it. I still felt like an idiot feeling like I needed permission or something. Ugh.

lil_lady's picture

Bm had the audacity to txt me to ask how ss was doing he threw up at day care and bf is on nights. so bf picked him up and I took over. So apparently I am unfit to give my own news but I can take care of her pukey feverish son 1.5... Its like she is realizing she hasnt been a real mother and trying to make up for it.