BM wants "all of the adults to talk first"
About Thanksgiving weekend. DH texted her and said that they need to figure out Thanksgiving because our baby shower which is 150+ people has been planned for over a month and it is his "week on" from their verbal agreement. BM decided that she could just inform him of their Polar Express trip and take away his holiday all together.
DH told her that SD should be involved and BM said "after the adults talk". What does that even mean? Either she can legally take SD out of town because of the original CO or she allows her to stay. And BM always plays the victim and usually cries, too. I don't want to be involved in that mess and told him I don't want any part of it.
And thank you for the comments on my last post. I'm talking to DH tonight.
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I'm sorry.. I got a little
I'm sorry.. I got a little waylaid at the 150+ people attending a baby shower!!!! I have never heard of so many people lol.... All the ones I have attended are like 30 people or less.. haha.
I am just guessing that BM wants to talk to your DH before the child is told she is or isn't going to anything. I'm guessing BM figures she has leverage over your DH.. due to it only being a verbal agreement... and the shower etc.. He will just have to see what she will agree to I guess.
DH would be a fool and a jerk
DH would be a fool and a jerk to let/make the kid decide. A fool because kids shouldn't be given power over COs and a jerk because kids shouldn't have to choose between their parents.
Bm is right. The adults need to hash this shit out and leave the girl out of it.
I didn’t read this as DH
I didn’t read this as DH letting the kid decide. I think he is telling BM the girl should be involved and she’s trying to say that she has any say in it.
Like she’s saying she should have been consulted as to what the girl does while in dad’s care because she is mom.
But, there’s no CO between BM
But, there’s no CO between BM and I Love Dog’s DH.
That’s the problem right there...
Sadly a verbal agreement is
Sadly a verbal agreement is useless upfront. If she wants to go back on it she can.
HOWEVER if he ever wants to go to court it can be used against her. Sorry you’re dealing with this bull.
This is all very dramatic.
This is all very dramatic. If SD is not at the shower the world will not come to an end. No summit is needed, if BM wants SD, let them have each other. SD should have no say in anything.
SD told BM that she wants to
SD told BM that she wants to be with us and got the silent treatment. BM wants everything off the record and I don't see why he needs to appease her.
I think that is the very
I think that is the very point of BM saying the adults need to talk first. It isn't fair to say things to kids.. then go ask permission later.
Like.. Hey.. we are going to disney world.. but it's during your normal time with your mom... want me to see if she will let you go?
seriously.. the kid won't want disney and won't absolutely know their mom said no if they can't go? That's what bm means.. and perhaps if other issues are now on the table she wants them hashed out without discussing with the child first. (though i'm sure in typical fashion it's ok if SHE does it just not you guys lol).
Exactly- no consultation at
Exactly- no consultation at all. It's a simple yes or no. The real issue is getting 50/50 on paper and holidays and timeframes for notifying about vacations on the table. BM can't just tell DH she's taking SD om his time because she bought tickets for the Polar Express for the rest of her family.
Well, this is an alienating
Well, this is an alienating tactic on BM's part, as you probably know, and it sounds like to backfired on her because SD actually chose the baby shower. I'm sure BM would love to ruin your (enormous?!) baby shower by making sure SD isn't there.
So usually I would agree that adults decide first, but as someone else said, that's BEFORE the options have been put on the table, but BM went ahead and tossed them both out there, so I'd give SD some input.
But for the love of god, get a CO in place.
I Love Dogs, forgive this
I Love Dogs, forgive this harshness, but you’d be a damn fool if you allow this BM/Skid drama to ruin YOUR baby shower. That is YOUR day. You’ll get no do overs, that is... unless you have the cashmoney to blow on another huge shower.