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Need advice about my husband and step daughters

layla10's picture

Submitted by layla10 on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 1:03pm

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Blended Family Issues

Sad I have 2 sd's 11 and 10 but they have different bio mothers.I also have my own daughter 11 out of marriage.whenever the 10 year old visits my hubby gets angry at us without valid reason.he always accuse me of not liking her daughter, he listens to every word I say to her but I don't worry coz I know I love her as my own there is nothing wrong I do to her.he chased my daughter away saying she is a bully she does not like his daughter.its funny coz these kids get along just fine when he is not around.he does not behave this way if its the other daughter so pls help me what is wrong with him? Does he have a right to chase away my 11 year old daughter?

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 4:19pm

We need more details. You may think the two girls get along, but maybe not.

Maybe your daughter is a bully, maybe your husband doesn't like your daughter, but it's hard to tell because you don't give any specific examples of what's happening.

Struggling stepmum's picture

Submitted by Struggling stepmum on Wed, 08/14/2013 - 5:38pm

Or maybe your SD is telling her dad lies and guilting him. my SD did this for a longtime before I saw her manipulation My H turned very abusive over her and we have now just seperated due to the nasty fights I allowed myself to get into. He may also feel guilty for liking your daughter? My SD uses to say things like ' you like her more than me' and ' she doesn't get told off as much'. That would explain why he's o my like that with one D. Not fair on your child.

layla10's picture

Submitted by layla10 on Thu, 08/15/2013 - 12:18pm

My daughter is the sweetest person on earth and they get along fine with my H when this child is not around.I ask him all the time if his daughter said anything to him and he will say no.He will get angry out of the blue and when I ask his daughter she will say she was never bullied and she will be suprised with what my H is saying.He loves the 10yr old more than the other one and the 11yr SD also sees that as a result she gets close to me and daughter as if she's mine not his.sometimes they would argue abt the TV channel and he will always side with the 10yr SD.In the car she is the only one who sits infront.He buys everything that she needs without stories.He does not treat his kids the same.

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Fri, 08/16/2013 - 9:45am

Very sad that your DH does not treat his two daughters the same. It could be because they have different mothers. He may be projecting his feelings about the mothers towards his daughters. One mother he may get along with so he may favor that daughter over the child whose mother is more difficult. Wouldn't be the first case like this.

Sounds like your DH needs therapy to recognize what he's doing to his daughters. What he's doing is pitting the two sisters against one another and is abusive.