Hey everyone, I have had a really tough week and I am feeling the hurt. I have been a step parent to four kids for four years. BM was not really involved until two years after I came around. The kids called me mom because they are all pretty young. The younger two only know me as mom since I have been around since they were 3 and 1. That is just some background. The oldest was the hardest with me in the beginning but we eventually moved on to a great relationship so I thought. He is 11 and trying to push me over the edge. He has lately been going through this manipulative phase. Like I said BM was not involved until two years after. She gets them every other weekend between 9-5:30. Let me tell you every other visit she misses because of some lame excuse. She has not paid child support for these past four years. She doesnt call them on the phone or write them letters no real communication unless its her visit. She was lesbian then found am an who knocked her up. So she has these four plus another by someone else. She does not work and the new guy has left so she is back to her exgf. The kids see all this. The 11 year old use to tell me he was embarrassed by her because she was always wearing super low cut tops and being super loud. So fast foward to two weeks ago the 11 year old is giving us attitude not doing chores and a ton of back talk. He was grounded and he is not allowed to be in our apt by himself. I told him I was going to work and he needed to go to his grandmothers which is in the same apt complex. He leaves and I leave. I come home for lunch and guess who is at the apt by himself with a friend! Hanging out as if this is how it should be. We have very strict rules about friends because we do not live in a safe neighborhood and who knows what any one persons motive is. I called his dad and he said he would handle it. I escorted him personally to his grandmothers and told he was not allowed to leave. I get home and my BF is explainging me the run down. We got out pretty late so he let me know that this kid who is ground not supposed to have phone/internet/ etc grabbed his uncles phone and started emailing BM which he has never done before mind you and told her he wants to come live with her and wants to spend the night this weekend. I was very hurt because this kid knows his BM knows she doesnt have a place to live knows she doesnt have a job and knows that the living situation he is asking for cannot happen. He knows that she will call us and he is doing this just to upset us. His grandmother asked the 11 year old why he went behind our backs to talk to her and why he lied to his uncle about who he was talking to and he said you guessed it that it was my fault because we got into a fight. My BF didnt even offer this information I had to drag it out of him which I really dont appreciate. I feel like he believed him and that behind my BF back I am instigating fights with his 11 year old. I told him the only altercation I had with him was when I escorted him back to his grandmothers which I was told to do in the first place. How is this my fault? So he lied about emailing her and then with the friend over he was punished. Fast forward circa now he is off grounding and seems to be trying. I came home last night and there is this cheap necklace on the table. I picked it up showed it to my BF and said joking good look for you and he said what? thats not yours? I said no is it supposed to be? he said well I just found out my brother the 11 year olds uncle who is 17 by the way has been inviting girls into our apt!?!?!?! I got so upset I feel so disrespected. Our home is ours and to invite these little hoodrats without asking just makes my blood boil. I said he needed to take our key back until the guy can learn to ask if he can have guests over. I went into my bedroom and the sheets are all messed up and food trash is on my nightstand. I said did you do this? he said not but that he found out the 11 year old also had a girl over..........wtf! He is way to young right? So the next morning my BF is at school and I am taking them to their BM's. I asked all the boys who was in my room and they all look at the 11 year old. So this is what I find out their aunt let them come to the house unsupervised. The younger ones playing video games and the 11 year old with a girl in my bed gave him a hickie............... :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: I am sick to my stomach. I yelled at him and he cried.....he ran to his grandmothers. We were already late so I had to go grab him and his grandfather put his hand up to block me to make sure this kid was okay. I yelled yes but I didnt called names or hit him. I have never abused these boys and I am getting really sick of them acting like they arent safe with me at lease when I supervise I am actually supervising. They baby him so much I am just so sick of it. No one in the family seems to be upset by this and I realy need support. I hate going home.