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SO NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

daisy0202's picture

She did it...SD figured a way to mess up my bday...So upset right now I can not even stand it...

So DH calls me on his lunch, asks how my bday is going so far, blah blah blah.... Then says.....Have some bad news....My stomach just dropped....I said OMG WHAT????

Quess SD was in school had this major attack called her Bm told her to make her an apt with the therapist today around 6:30 (she knew my dinner was at 6:30) then called DH to tell him she had an apt because she was all stressed to go to BM all crying and boohoo'ing so DH said ok when is the apt she said I dont know... so DH calls BM and says what time is the apt she says 7:00 so DH asks her to bring her and she says SD told BM she wants daddy to take her... :jawdrop: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? So DH says I am so so sorry....I have to take her I will make this up to you i promise....WHAT??????

I told him know what don't bother you dont think this is a cowinky dink she wanted the apt the same time as my dinner and that she wanted to even go to BM when she found out we were having company for my birthday and now all of a sudden out of the blue was all stressed out at going to BM's when she is the one who wanted to go but now needs a therapy sessions due to to? ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME????? I said I have my family comming and that is all that matters so whatever DH I am all set and nothing is messing up my day!!!! Hung up and told staff if i get any calls i am in a meeting....SO BS RIGHT NOW!!!!

Comments

Still Have Hope's picture

So sorry!

Lalena75's picture

Tell him no! Tell him to reschedule it sd can get over herself and learn to deal its your dang birthday and I agree she did it on purpose. I hope this gets worked out in your favor. Happy birthday and hugs to you.

DeeDeeTX's picture

I hate it when people say, "I'll make this up to you," when there is no way on earth they can make it up.

WickedStepMom18's picture

OMG, honey. What a witch. DO NOT allow this to ruin your day. It's your day! Why does DH think he HAS to take her? BM made the appointment, she could have scheduled it for a convenient time for DH if she wasn't taking her. Bottom line, he needs to make you a priority also. He is going to miss out on celebrating his wonderful wife just because Whiny Pants wants HIM to take her? Does he actually participate in the therapy session or is he just her taxi? Ohhhhhh, girl. Now you got ME riled up.

bestwife's picture

Tell him what I tell my DH when he says I shouldn't care about something he wants to do about skids or BM.

"The only way I can make myself not care that you want to put something else above me is if I decide not to care about you. Is that what you want?"

That does not mean that I get my way 100% of the time (nor do I really expect to be catered to constantly) but it does give the message that I will not let myself be a doormat.

Jsmom's picture

I would just go about your plans. Shame on him for letting a child dictate his evening like this...Sometimes these dads just don't see it until it is way too late. Sorry and Happy Birthday!!!

purpledaisies's picture

Daisy it sounds like he is not putting your marriage first or even second is that what you want?? Not saying you have to divorce him but maybe do something to wake him up with the thought of losing you might work.
i really think this calls for a wake call of some sort. He needs to understand that SD is only doing this to put first and to make it known you are not. AND he is ALLOWING her to do this. that doesn;t mean you have to ALLOW her to mess up your life though and you need to make it Chrystal clear to him that if he wants to be in your life he has to stop.

bestwife's picture

I'd also be tempted to say to him:
"Oh that major attack that she had today - it's going to seem like nothing once I am done attacking you for this crap."

or
(and this must be said very calmly not in anger - pretend like you are sympathetic):
How sad your daughter is so psychologically damaged. How sad she will never be normal, etc. You can passive-aggressively trash her to the nth degree while sympathizing with her woes.

Ommy's picture

I would kill him. He would be on the couch for a month or he would be out on his ass. There is no reason for him to have to take his daughter to see a shrink at that time. If it is a real emergency take her to the hospital for a suicide watch. It can wait. It would be different if she was involved in a car wreak and hospitalized, gang raped, shot. But her having a crying fit because the world doesnt revolve around her for one night. I would have at it with him. Yes children need love and to be cared for however not teaching you child one of the most important lessons in life is horrible. To me that lesson is that there are other human beings in the world and it is right to do things for them. i.e putting on a smile and going to there birthday.

Can I please slap, kick, or strangle your husband for you? I am so sorry. Please try and enjoy the time with your family.

forestfairy's picture

OMG, I'm so sorry! This is really your DH's fault, not hers. She is going to do whatever she can to get whatever she wants. Your DH is playing right into it. It's bullshit. She is 16 effin years old and by your posts she sounds like she is 5. Can't be home alone? Constantly having "attacks" where she needs her daddy? I have anxiety attacks and you know what? You learn to live with them. Big whoop. I certainly don't call my daddy. And anyone who has anxiety attacks don't run off to their therapist every.single.time they have one. She is really manipulative!

She is supposed to be almost an adult and able to move out on her own in two years. I really hate to say this to you, but she is NEVER going to leave your house. You are going to be stuck with her for the rest of your life unless your husband learns to deal with this NOW. You need to put your foot down now or the rest of your life is going to be pure hell. She's going to be calling daddy to run over to her apartment at midnight for the rest of her life if he doesn't set boundaries. Her therapist needs to be teaching her some coping skills and your DH needs to tell her she can no longer use her mental problems to manipulate and get what she wants.

Tell your husband to shove it, and go have a BLAST tonight for your birthday. I would just stay at your family's after that. I wouldn't even come home.

I'm infuriated for you!

ThatGirl's picture

Wow, what an ass. I can't believe your DH falls for this crap. I agree with forestfairy, I'd go out with my family and not come back. Tell him you were upset about his treatment of you and just wanted your Daddy. See how he likes it.

the_stepmonster's picture

^^^^THIS!!!!^^^^

Do NOT be a doormat for him and his little princess. Seriously, if it is THAT important that she sees a therapist have BM take her. If BM stresses her out, so be it! She is going to the therapist and the therapist can resolve that little meltdown too! Two birds with one stone. There is ZERO reason for her to go at this exact time. She is clearly manipulating him and it works EVERY TIME and it will continue to keep working until he puts her in her place. Don't let him get away with this Daisy!!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

I'm pissed off for you. What a little bitch and your DH is an asshole for letting his stupid kid dictate what he can and cannot do with his wife. OMG I am LIVID!

morgan_minx80's picture

OMG hun its just appaling. She sounds like a manipulative little bitch and your dh is her lap dog. Kick both of their f*ckin a*s's. More his though because he is playing right into her hands. Im so angry for you chick. You dh needs to grow some balls and keep them firmly to himself, not in your sd's pocket. Grrrrrr

bi's picture

when her bday rolls around, i would refuse to be a part of it in any way. no baking or buying a cake, no gift shopping, no going to or making dinner, NOTHING. if dh wants to do something for that damn brat's bday, let him do it all on his own. make your own plans and go out to do something for YOU on her bday. what a little bitch. major jealousy issues. i can't believe you are the only one who can see thru this. she should be embarrassed.

forestfairy's picture

Seriously! "Oh, SD, what a terrible coincidence I started having chest pains and had to go to the ER an hour before your birthday party!"

Ommy's picture

it would totally be worth the visit to the er. what he going to say go to the er by yourself. I am chanting Do it.

forestfairy's picture

They'll give her a quick EKG, and send her on her way. Not that I would normally condone abusing the medical system, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Wink

mindex's picture

If it were *truly* an emergency situation, SD would have needed to leave school and go immediatly for treatment. You are saying "she" does this all the time, but really "HE" does this all the time by allowing the kid to control what he does. I know because I am in the same situation with an out of control SD16, and a very guilty, permissive DH who used to drop whatever he had planned to usher SD wherever she needed to go. Things are rocky right now with is because of her antics and HIS PERMITTING THE ANTICS to rule his actions. I let him know the present state of things is not acceptable and we are working on these issues.
SD is a child, DH is a grown adult. Adults should know better.
Try to enjoy your birthday and do not give the KID the power to wreck your day.
You have a life.
Live it Smile
Happy Birthday Dear Girl !

ctnmom's picture

Daisy one of the other posters said it's your 40th? Say it ain't so. He's missing this milestone? My gasters are flabbered. I want to kick his ass! :jawdrop:

Goincrazy40's picture

I just went back and read how happy you were this morning!

I am soooo pissed on your behalf! I wish I could go find those two, drag SD out of DHs car by her hair and send him to your party!

}:)

VioletsareBlue's picture

oh no. I agree with everyone else. He's not making you a priority. This is not OK .. no no no no! She's totally playing him and being a real bitch and he's a frickin' asshole for dropping everything for her.

DH and I decided that we will no longer drop what we are doing or change our plans for ANY of the kids unless it is a TRUE emergency (hospital needed, fire) .... it was hard at first but so damn worth it and freeing.