Question with immediate need for opinions and answers
So FDH and BM had been in a war of sports about communication... So FDH is supposed to be.picking up the kids in two hours,... BM place is an hour away,.... And I just ran into the kids DOWN HERE WITH THEIR OTHER GRANDPA!
the kids told me they asked their mom if they could stay the night with grandpa and she said SURE!
I reminded them FDH was suposed to pick them up at 5 ( IN TWO HOURS!)
But I'm sure DAD will be ok with you spending the night if you call and ask him,...
(grandpa knew nothing of who's day it was I'm in no way blaming him because his daughter did not tell him she could not give the permission)
MY BIG DEAL IS:
WTF BM???
YOU DIDN'T NOTIFY FDH THAT THE KIDS WERE NOT GOING TO BE AT YOUR PLACE AT PICK UP TIME??!!
YOU WERE GOING TO LET FDH DRIVE THE HOUR UP THERE AND SITE IN YOUR DRIVEWAY WAITING FOR THE KIDS TO COME OUT??!!
she probably has alterior motives of wanting to catch FDH alone and talk tp him,.... BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE TO CONTACT HER IN SOME WAY TO ASK WTF WHERE ARE THE KIDS!! and right there BM has her "in"...
So FDH wants to document this,.... He wants to send an email (later tonight, not now) and say something like:
BM:
NEXT TIME THE KIDS WILL NOT BE AT YOUR PLACE WHEN I AM SUPPOSED TO PICK THEM UP, YOU ARE OBLIGATED BY THE COURT ORDER TO NOTIFY ME OF THE LOCATION OF THE KIDS SO THAT I MAY RESUME PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF THEM.
what do you guys think?
on
He should drive up there to
He should drive up there to collect the kids. The second she makes it known they are not there, he needs to call the police and have a report written. Then contact his attorney with the police report and file a motion to show cause .. hold that b*tch in contempt.
I say to do it this way,
I say to do it this way, because this is the only thing that would work with our BM. If you continually threaten things like "next time I'll file with the courts" or "next time I'll hold you in violation" she'll just keep doing it.
She shouldn't need advance notice or warning to follow the court order.
great just as he got into the
great just as he got into the car and started heading to BM's he gets a text from BM saying oh by the way the kids are at my parents you'll have to pick up there....
He is fuming!
Does he send something saying that was too short of notice??
FDH sent an email 20 minutes
FDH sent an email 20 minutes before the pickup time saying:
I just received the text you sent at 4:01 PM today changing the location I am supposed to pick up the kids at 5pm today. Less than an hour is not enough notice to change the location by more than 45 miles.
BM responded immediately in email:
Thanks for your concern OUTSIDER. I guess I will pack up kids and drive to BM's TOWN now, if you would rather pick them up there. Even though, kids told me at 3:45 pm today that they are spending the night here at my parents house because FDH made arrangements with my father.
FDH responded in email:
You are talking to me, FDH NAME, in email, get over it. My conversation with your dad does not change the pickup time or location at your home unless you tell me that it has changed with enough notice to change travel arrangements. The plan I made with your dad has no bearing on our agreement of pick up time and location. I'm upset about the amount of time you gave me in notice. The plan was to pick them up at 5pm in BM'S TOWN. I need more notice than an hour.
I was still at work and did not proof read or edit his emails.... only read them now as I got home,... I'm not pleased with him engaging her in this way,...But oh well,... thanks for the input on such short notice.
If it's ever going to change,
If it's ever going to change, he needs to stop responding to the crazy. I know it's so difficult, especially when it creates inconvenience or when emotions are flaring, but it really is important.
He needs to make it clear to her by action; not be responding. She gets away with all of her BS because he engages the email/text battles and never ACTS on it.
Consider this her last warning. Ignore all texts in the future and pick up skids at time/place per the Custody Order unless AGREED to in writing at least 24 hours in advance.
Sorry you're dealing with this .. we deal with very similar crap with our BM