O/T Anyone have experience with a child who has ODD???

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As if life isn't hard enough with the skids and blending families, my bio has issues too. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. I'm sure she has ODD. She see's a psych, a therapist and is on low dose non-stimulant meds. She acts up for attention and seriously acts like a 3 year old at 9 1/2. I'm SO FRUSTRATED and wondering if anyone has advice or suggestions.

I'm sick of freaking star charts and rewards- she doesn't give a crap. spanking-doesn't care, grounding-doesn't care, going to bed- doesn't care, takes toys, dolls, bike away- doesn't care, misses out on fun things- doesn't care, time out-doesn't care. She thinks it's funny to get everyone in fights by making up lies, we don't play into it but she caused a huge in-law deal who believed her and not me- go figure.

We had to switch psych's and therapists and I'm getting the same thing- she knows how to play their game. I have rules, we have a schedule, I raised her with respect and compassion. She knows how to be sweet and then turns into a mean girl. I'm beyond frustrated. I know this isn't the proper site for bios but my bio isn't perfect either and I'm hoping someone can give some helpful suggestions bc I'm about to pull my freaking hair out with all this stress

OMG, he exposes himself

I'm sure BM messing with the medication and those visits throw him off

Thanks pinata, these are all

Thanks pinata, these are all helpful. I looked into parent training classes as a resource and wasn't able to find any yet. I'm waiting for a call back from her dr.
She defintely power struggles and we have a more peaceful home environment since the skids and grandkids moved out. She has this "I can do what I want attitude" is in constant competion with FDH or me for eachothers attention but never wants us together. She's been in therapy for 3 years- in behavior therapy a few months and and we have goals but it's just a big playtime to her. With these kids it's important to have consistancy and it's really hard when I've had bad luck with therapists- they have moved clinics or they baby talk her

We try to stay consistant and calm and it's SO hard. She intentionally takes my things, ruins things, hoards candy and sweets and throws the cartons out the window of her room (she's small so it's not an over weight thing she just knows we limit her sugar because she turns into a monster) We don't even buy that stuff anymore.
She always gets 2 choices- she takes no responsibility for her actions and constantly blames everyone else for everything. Will run in the house screaming or yelling obnoxiously for attention.

She plays the game

dble post- oops

I am hoping she's not a

I am hoping she's not a sociopath read this page: www.lovefraud.com see if you find any similarities.

I certainly hope not- she's 9

I certainly hope not- she's 9 so hopefully she will "snap" out of it. ODD describes her exactly, I think she needs some tests or something to atleast get her on the right track with meds that work. I'm sure she doesn't feel great either if she's acting out like this

My BFF's husband SAYS he is

My BFF's husband SAYS he is diagnosed ODD, I think it is just an excuse for him to be an argumentative asshole... but that's just my take on it.

LOL actually I read that ODD

LOL actually I read that ODD is mostly a childs diagnosis- ODD in a child and turn into Conduct disorder and unfortunately a lot of those teenagers/adults get into the crime life and have high risk for drug and alcohol abuse :O Does he have any of these issues????!!

Nope.... he is clean as a

Nope.... he is clean as a whistle, just an argumentative ass...

LOL, I think he's full of

LOL, I think he's full of shit!

DING DING DING WE HAVE A

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

And I think you are right-

And I think you are right- when people get a Dx they tend to use it as a crutch- my bio has used her ADHD to not do her work in school. I don't care if it takes 3 months and its late, I make her do it

He does use it as a crutch

He does use it as a crutch but ONLY in his marriage. He doesn't argue with ANYONE else like that. Just her, and then blames it on ODD. Makes me want to punch him in his throat.

And she believes him?

To think we ancients used to

To think we ancients used to call ODD "tantrums." How backwards we were! /s

I'm not sure if you are being

I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic :? but tantrums are completly different, ask anyone who has a child with these issues

YES!!!! This sounds like my

YES!!!! This sounds like my kid- She has tried ritilin, adderal, something non stmulant and non of it worked. My child has always had issues sleeping as well. Went to bed after 12 and was up by 5- she simply won't sleep which turns into acycle of being even more rotten bc she's over tired on top of it. She crashes about once a week and has a good sleep all night. She wanders the house! We put a lock on her door. Anyone who thought you wuld sleep better after they are out of baby stages?? Not with my kid

She's on 10mg of clonidine which helps a little but she's sleepy so I can't give her the reg dose during the day. I'm gonna ask about celexa.

She's in therapy- and yes, she knows how to play up her issues and uses them to her excuse

Thats a good suggestion, I

Thats a good suggestion, I just recently looked into the ODD and she fits every symptom daily. I've tried melatonin and omega 3 as well as b vitamins to improve her behavior as those were alternative solutions. WE cut down almost completly on sugar besides a special treat every once in a while. My daughter isn't violent at school, she just doesn't want to do the work, she wants to visit and distracts other students by chatting, she has shown improvement which is good but she is still behind in reading and in math.

I'm in the US and I wish they would ban all the chemicals in foods- it's digusting.

AS for the stimulant, We tried two and she was literally bouncing off the walls jumping from couch to couch and I felt horrible bc I figured she was high- the dr said probley not bc it was such a low dose but it hyped her up even more. I really wish she didn't have to be medicated at all. She's so argumentative and I try so hard not to engage, everything is a funny joke and her main goal in life is to irritate us, make us mad and push our buttons until we blow and you can see the satisfaction on her face. WE are trying hard to not show emotions and just be cut and dry but the child doesn't give up.

Just have to keep swimming, it's tough

Thanks, She is definitely

Thanks, She is definitely hyper- her psych dx'd her with ADHD- she's not violent but can't sit still. She stands with one leg on the chair and the other on the floor at her desk and meals at home. I'm going to ask her dr about Celexa, I have also heard of Risperdal (sp)? Have you heard anything about that?

I tried the 504 plan last year and it was a fight. She was newly diagnosed and the school kept brushing me off. I went up to the school ready to fight for it and they said its a new school for her this is probley an adjustment give it some time- surprise! Never got better. And it's a long process. I'm on this year though and it does seem like schools don't like to do it. I was told by the social worker that her ADHD isn't a serious enough disability to qualify her for a 504 ot IEP and because she did show progress in test scores it shows she can function in a reg classroom setting with no 504........ I'm ready to fight. I don't play with education and it's only gonna be harder for her each year

And Thank you for all your

And Thank you for all your advice

Thanks you too

Me. My son was diagnosed a

Me. My son was diagnosed a few times by different doctors. Of course it seems none could agree, but overall these were the diagnosis that continued to come up, either austim/asperger's/adhd, ocd, odd...

With that said, I understand this ODD thing. What worked for me was to actually write things down for him. I bought a little cork strip that I pasted on his wall. I took pics of him brushing his teeth, putting his clothes on, having breakfast, lunch, art/etc. dinner, bath, sleep...You can use whatever is MOST IMPORTANT to YOU. I put them up in his room in the order they were to be done. It worked WONDERS for us. He was also very delayed in speech, so it was even more difficult to deal with him, but it really worked for us.

I also made a life is good room, i.e. fountain, yoga mat, cd player with soft/classical music. Anytime I saw him stressed or I was stressed, I would tell him that we were going to relax and do some excercise. At first he was not into it, but after a while he would even grab my hand and take ME to the room when he saw me stressed out or he was stressed out.

I found that by telling him WHAT to do vs. what NOT to do, it also helped. Yes, it is a lot of work at first, but honestly, the spankings, yelling, screaming only makes things worse. Take deep breaths and I promise that once you are a bit calmer, things get better. I know, I am one to lose it quickly, so believe me I know how hard this can be, but it does work.

PS - we changed his diet 100%, no more milk or gluten...while some might not believe it, for us it also helped greatly...healthy diet is very important and no, we did NOT medicate him although at least 2 of the drs who evaluated him told us he should be medicated...it has been 6 years and no medication, no therapists, no thing...just a change in lifestyle.

I love the picture idea, how

I love the picture idea, how old is he? My daughter definitely responds better to a consistant daily schedule. WE keep her busy in an active sport as well. Although I'm never home anymore it's helped keep the tension down in the house. I haven't tried cutting out gluten but we don't have milk in the house at all- it upsets our stomachs so we drink lactose free.

I love your life is good room! How creative.

Good for you, I know this is soooo difficult and sounds like you have found a way to manage it. Kudos. I hope to be able to say the same about myself someday. It's a work in progress. and the environment changes when SD16 comes around so that throws my bio through a huge loop- even when the schedule stays the same

Yea, I feel ya. I've been

Yea, I feel ya. I've been told to be consistant and it won't work right away but if I keep it up it should..............what a joke

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O/T Anyone have experience with a child who has ODD???