The forum just ate my OP.

My DH and I have been together for 9 years, married for 4, and have a 3.5 year old daughter. My SS is 11. This child has been spoiled, mostly out of what I think was originally guilt over the divorce. What 4 year old has a four-wheeler? What 6 year old has every gaming system available...and then gets one for each house? This one. He has ruined vacations, entire days, family functions...with that perfected manipulative touch. I seriously can't stand the sight of him anymore. My husband said tonight that he doesn't want him to come over anymore (that won't stand). My husband is a good father. He has NEVER skipped out of any responsibility with his son. He has tried to forge a strong and emotional bond with his son. But my DH gets trampled on and I fucking hate it. It's his biggest failure in life and it kills his soul. His ex seriously has a personality disorder. She uses EVERY opportunity to be the savior. Tonight, we had a discussion with SS about responsibility and doing chores. Seriously, how many times can we ask you to do clean your room? DH told him tonight that he was going to start grounding him. He comes over and goes straight outside to play with his friends. He has started telling my daughter that he will spank her, he pushes her away, yells at her. I digress...so he goes outside after this discussion and calls his mother and tells her he's "ill". She shows up, unannounced to pick him up on DH's day to have him and he hops in the car and says, "I'm sorry" before leaving to my husband. Then WW3 ensues via text per usual. Oh and now I'm the "pitbull wife" even though I've said N-O-T-H-I-N-G to him about this. Fuck off! I have told her in the past that she's batshit crazy when she's MEAN to my husband. I've had to pull my car over on the way home after dropping SS off while DH SOBS uncontrollably because as he's leaving, ex will saying something shitty about how awful of a father he is. Trust me folks, I would not have married a POS.
I don't want this kid in my house anymore. The tension in here is so fucking thick when he's here you can FEEL it. If we're not on our knees kissing both of their asses, shit hits the fan. We are all happy when he's not here because there's no trouble being started! We've been talking about having another baby but SS says no. I say you don't make decision in this house, kid. He wanted a sibling SO BAD before we had DD. My husband makes time for SS, he's always taking him somewhere or doing something he's asked to do. Having a sibling is a normal part of life!
I can't take it anymore.