You know what? I honestly just do not give a fu*k anymore!
I don't know what has hit me the last day or two. I just honestly don't give a fuck about DH, BM, SS5 anymore or whatever all of them do together.
DH thinks I've "lost" it because he KEEPS asking me question after question despite the fact that I don't answer anymore.
MWC: "Whatever you think DH..." (whatever.)
I'm sick of seeing a supposed husband spend his time, night to night, week to week emailing, sobbing, and not doing a damn 'normal' thing in life. lame lame lame
I'm sooooooooooo tired of these clowns taking up my air and not getting their shit straight. I am fed up with being asked so many questions- from DH to MIL.
I'm comletely numb or disengaged. I just don't care anymore.
I just see this now as some abode to harbor in until things are moving more my way.
Why do we just get to the point of numbness? How can I not all of a sudden give a flip shit anymore?
I'm just like, "Fuck them all, this is retarded."
Anyone? I just do not care anymore.
I tell everyone, sometimes
I tell everyone, sometimes numb is great...other times it will hurt you.
use that numb feeling to get you where you want to be...just make sure you don't make that lack of feeling a habit.
I'm in the numb club too honey...it's a safe place to be when things are in limbo. (((((MWC)))))
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
I tell H that all the
I tell H that all the time..."can the man I married please make an appearance in my life rather than this spineless little pussywhipped bitch that is currently wearing my husband's wedding ring??"
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Breathe girl breathe....You
Breathe girl breathe....You sound like you need to get away. Maybe a road trip with a friend or a weekend shopping...you need to have some time for yourself...something you really enjoy that will take you away.
MarriedwithChild wrote: I'm
MarriedwithChild wrote:
I'm sooooooooooo tired of these clowns taking up my air and not getting their shit straight.
RIGHT? I mean, seriously!!!! I always think that the best thing to do is finalize things, figure things out, and put things in finite, solid terms.
What is up with these DHs BFs and BMs. Seriously? WHY live in constant chaos, denial, and uncertanity? Why go on being used and fucked by BM? It's almost like these dear hubbies and boyfriends are completely helpless and have a need to live in a way that's up in the air and all the shots are called by the BM.
Infuriating! :O :O :O :O
"Honestly,,I dont lift a
"Honestly,,I dont lift a finger unless I feel like it. NOW what has become the norm,,,is they are forced to deal with everything..and I do not give a crap how it turns out. I just dont anymore. I didnt marry her and have kids with her. HE DID...his responsibility to work everything out."
Exactly what goes through my head the last few days. This is a YP- NOT a MP- NMP (not my problem)
"Honestly,,I dont lift a
"Honestly,,I dont lift a finger unless I feel like it. NOW what has become the norm,,,is they are forced to deal with everything..and I do not give a crap how it turns out. I just dont anymore. I didnt marry her and have kids with her. HE DID...his responsibility to work everything out."
That's exactly how I roll B. Not my kid, not my problem.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
BBB~ I'm totally with you
BBB~ I'm totally with you there.
If it were possible at the moment, I'd be with my GF in Tuscon. I woke up and just realized how completely retarded this is.
(I'm only numb to the SM situation, not LIFE.) It's my fault in the first place to have let 'my' self become so influenced by this drama- trauma.
(Been thinking of you...)
I honestly am NOT traumatized, just don't care anymore.
To the point of, "Whatever. That's nice. Just do it. "
I'll never marry a guy again with this kind of baggage. My friends were right all along. (I will probably never marry again, period.) Stupid family pressure to "not be alone." after late hubby died...
"whatever,that's nice.just
"whatever,that's nice.just do it."
wow, this is So me right now. amazing
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
And another thing
And another thing guys...
Have you ever gone from "butterflies" swarming through your heart and tummy to not feeling anything there at all?
"Have you ever gone from
"Have you ever gone from "butterflies" swarming through your heart and tummy to not feeling anything there at all?"
That is me right now also.. I guess when you've reached the point of no return or exhaustion, this is how we start feeling?
" "whatever,that's nice.just
" "whatever,that's nice.just do it."
wow, this is So me right now. amazing
BBB~ Then add on to that, "Now would you shut the fuck up and leave me alone!"
lol, yeah that was my next
lol, yeah that was my next comment
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Bill out by the hour at
Bill out by the hour at 125.00 like a true therapist/ mediator.
Wow, I feel stupid today. Something has changed in me. This whole thing is just lame. I mean, how much can we REALLY do for these circus clowns?
Let the circus music que up.
Let the circus music que up. ta-ta-ta-ta-taratatarara
Right. I'm soooooooooo
Right.
I'm soooooooooo turned off by DH now. I see him wearing a big red nose and walking around with a spine formed of jelly.
"Oh, where did the feeling go?" (isn't that a song?)
I mean, I don't wish any harm here but this has been stupid on my part.
Honestly guys, I don't even 'feel' married. If that makes sense.
It's not the same as it was with my late hubby. (maybe nobody will ever comare to him.)
that's another line of mine,
that's another line of mine, "I feel like we're not even married H,just on paper. I'm just the live-in girlfriend with no rights,no say in ANYTHING. I could be single and do better than I am right now. How about if I move out,back to my condo and I'll just date you and f**k you when I'm lonely. That sounds WAY WAY better to me than this horseshit."
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
I often have those visions
I often have those visions of the "spine formed jelly" too!
I swing from feeling sorry for him to anger, then back to caring until he lets the BM walk allover him, then I am back to anger etc....round and round...
Hard to feel love for someone you imagine wearing a clown suit.
Exactly. I don't feel sorry
Exactly. I don't feel sorry for these circus clowns anymore.
They all had every chance to grow up and make a change for the better.
You probably don't feel
You probably don't feel married because it sounds like he's still sort of in his first marriage in a way by hanging onto the drama. That's how I have felt re my BF...like he's with me but really still in his old life with BM and SD. We recently talked about it and he had an epiphany and agrees. It's like a venn diagram...BF/BM/SD in one bubble and me in a separate one, intersecting his. He should be in my bubble, just as you should be in his bubble -- minus the crazy BM.
I have thought everything you said. It's not the same in a second marriage...you didn't have the drama and a spouse that is so connected to his past life. How do these men expect to have a new life when they're still in their old one? My exH is remarried too and he says it isn't the same. That being said, I think a second marriage can be special in it's own way if these men make a conscious effort to make their new marriage a priority.
I understand losing feelings and feeling less attractive...I think like you said, it is because these men become emasculated via their actions. I think if/when they step up to the plate and start putting us first and saying no to all the bullshit/dysfunction/unrealistic demands.
Sorry you're so down. I am worried about you MWC...
I am numb and emotionally
I am numb and emotionally disengaged from everyone. Just got back from my hometown after a month to think things through. H and I are far apart more than ever. We fight about SS18 all the time because H protects and defends him. SD14 is no angel either. End of my rope now...I agree with BBB..where is that husband I married 3 yrs ago.
I'm in "your shoes" after
I'm in "your shoes" after only one year...
"Where is that husband I married a year ago?"
What did 'it' for you?
"Seems these guys want to
"Seems these guys want to please EVERYONE; so if their 2nd wife or current sig other gets crapped on by the BM and skids, oh well, two outta three ain't bad (meatloaf)
They also like to have the admiration (or bitching) from two women as well. . .bizarre!!!"
Crayon~ Exactly. I bet he WILL care though. Honestly, what's funny is BM doesn't 'really' want him yet this man has 'allowed' this creature to ruin something that would have changed his life.
BBB~ "A piece of paper"- exactly. What else do I have with this clown? Everything is so seperate.
So, DH wanted to witness two
So, DH wanted to witness two girls fighting over him at the playground? Umm. No. That's too funny! No way I'm getting into shit with BM. So not worth my time.
On the other hand, if DH had ever taken one of a gazillion chances to fix this, I'd kick ass for him. lame lame lame
I believe in equality
I believe in equality but...(no offense) isn't it the supposed 'man' that has the balls down there?
Clue me in here.....
I disengaged emotionally
I disengaged emotionally from the dumbasses in my life shortly after Christmas. The thing that pisses me off the most is the grief Dh gives me about it. SD13 would whine to him about how she can't talk to me ( I never told her not to talk to me. But if she is talking about Punkinhead and I don't appear interested, well, take a hint).I don't know what else the little ass kissing shit stirrer would say, but it definitely caused problems because I wasn't coddling the little Prince and Princess they way they wanted. I don't clean upstairs where their rooms and bathroom are, because they are messy little pigs. I still do the laundry for them, but that is just as a courtesy to DH.Tonight SS11 who I shall now call the little Prince, decided DH needs to drive about 3-4 hours one way tomorrow to take him to a school overnight trip. So DH will be on the road 6-8 hours because Prince missed school today but really really wants to go on this trip. Punkinhead and the kids stepdad won't take off work to drive the little Prince, but my dumbass DH has no problem with it. He asked me if I wanted to get up at 4:30 AM and go with them.... to quote the original post, "Fuck them all, this is retarded"