I am so very sorry. I don't think you are being a fool, as it is very difficult for some people to let go even of those who take us for granted. I have to say that although believe me, I know if it happened to me, which heck, it is happening, it is not easy...sometimes we really just have to let go. The stress of living in such turmoil can really destroy your health. I know, I have been living it for years now. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Is there any way you can get a part-time job to supplement the medicare? If you go back to DH, you will be once again entangled in his family mess - and continue to support his spoilt brats. Take some time just for you. It may not take too long to find you don't WANT to go back. Good luck and (((BIG HUGS)))

I'm so sorry about your mom. Lots of (((HUGS))) and prayers.

I think your "D"H is giving you a gift. Right now, it may seem like a Trojan horse. But take a look at so many of the other stories in this forum. So many posters' heads are spinning from the craziness they deal with from adult sks who don't acknowledge them, treat them with respect, work, and are self-centered.

You said it yourself: this "man" will not change. His adult kids definitely will not change.

Your state has programs and resources that can help you get counseling, health services, programs and classes that can help you build a life in which you are successful and happy. Your state has programs and classes that can help you gain full time employment. If you need help finding these resources, please feel free to send me a private message and I will do what I can to help.

Please also seek the help and support of loved ones. Nobody likes to see people they love and care about suffering and most people would do what they could to help.

I am sorry for your loss and for what you're going through.

They got their wish and you got yours, you just don't see it yet.
When we are traumatized it is hard to see any glimmer of hope
and usually because of the trauma(in my experience) we are surrounded by insecurities and thinking of the "shoulda's and coulda's" of our past.

When I was going thru my Hell about 5 years ago, I was getting severe anxiety attacks. I was very rageful and angry. (My daughters father, was still in love with his ex,while with me, i found a porno dvd of him and his ex and naked photos together, 2 weeks after giving birth. I had to be on heparin daily during the pregnancy, ex never woke up to meet the nurse who was giving me the injections, because he wanted to sleep in oh and knocked up best friends now ex gf lol)

This is why I say what I am going to say now....
Your Husband(we'll call him ex) has shown you every indication he's not that into you or interested in reconciling the marriage.
Do you want to know someones true colours? See how they react when faced with adversity.
He knew your Mom passed away....was unsympathetic to that.(I am sorry for your loss).
If he cared about your mental state, he again would be sympathetic towards you.
He is financially aiding his daughters which is not helping him financially and definitely
not helping his daughter who is basically 30.

I think a lot of mental health disorders, are usually caused by how we react to stress.
Some people have more, others have less. It seems you have more stress at this time.
I think by letting him go and telling yourself, "You'll be fine" Which you will be, helps.
Its like someone dumping you and they ask you "Are you sure I didnt hurt you?"
your reply should be "Yep, Im good." Thats the attitude to have with this inconsiderate prick.
You will be fine.

I was an idiot and so wanted to get back with my daughters father, I was heartbroken for years.
Now looking back,its like thank god I didnt. He would have put me in the psych ward permanently(people can do this to us if we let them, try to let it go).
Someone will love you again, it just takes time.
It took me 2 years to be intimate again.
And another year later I found SO.
Good things happen to those that wait!
Your ex, will get what he deserves.
Its like that Kid rock song, only god knows why"You get what you put in and
people get what they deserve."
Good Luck!

Go look at the medigap advantage policies. Every state I have looked at (not all by any means) has one that has a zero premium and includes drug coverage.

There are also programs to help those who are low income which is you are on disability is you. I wish I'd looked at these closer for my dad. He had retiree coverage from federal government that I thought was great. But he could have had the same coverage with the same doctors with the medicgap advantage plan for a couple of hundred dollars less a month. We wasted a lot of money keeping the government coverage.

There are different ones in each state. Humana has been very good if that is offered in your state. You need to look into this NOW as you will only have a limited time after losing his coverage that they have to accept you.

I understand bipoor disease very well and for many reasons ( family member has been diagnosed with it). It can be difficult when you become too stimulated as there is the fear of a severe depression or manic state. Whatever drove you to be hospitalized must have been too much for you and I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you are stabilized. You sound like you are compliant in regards to your medical care; this is huge and give yourself a pat on the back for getting the help that you need. I know this is easy for me to say but please hang in there and take care of yourself first. You haven't been with DH that long and he's made it loud and clear that the skids get spoiled; what about spoiling your wife who is sick? From what you said I get the strong feeling that you need to say goodbye however I don't know the whole story but if you were in the hospital for an extended period of time, that tells me you were not in good shape and your decline all has to do with your situation at home. Yes, I get on here and call my SD names and complain about mistakes DH has made but when push comes to shove, he would never, ever hurt me to the point of my mentally decompensating. Yes, my SD is horrible but my DH has learned that while she comes and goes that I will always be here. All I'm trying to say is that I get a sense here of lack of devotion on DH's part. If I am correct in my assessment then it's time for you to move on. I know this is painful and I am so sorry. Please hang in there. If you take care of yourself, your bipolar will get better. I will send you positive energy and my thoughts. Please take care of yourself. I hope I don't seem to harsh. Even though I don't know you I want you to be ok.

Perhaps without living with the man and his kids, your stress will lessen and you might not need as much medication, therefore cutting down on the expenses.