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DH ignores you whenever SD 20 calls

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 8:54pm

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Adult Stepchildren

DH and I were on a wonderful weeklong trainining trip for him that turned into a woo deserved getaway for me since all I seem to do is pick up dishes from both 2 adult step kids that live with us along with my two elderly parents who are having trouble walking. I got upset because he started having a cell phone converse while having drinks at the hotel and continued the conversation for 40 munites until he had to cross a road. And if that isn't bad enough, he started browsing through job applications from applicants. Something that could definitely wait until after dinner. I was really at whits end since he said I was just pampered and spoiled and we were not on a date since we're married. I can't take this. This is not the only issue we have. For me, it's the last straw. I'm really ready to file for divorce. I've been poor before. I just want my sanity back. Oh and since my parents have been living with us (about 2 wks since her minor fall), he has been so critical of medical care. And thinks I have a magic wand to fix things. Any thoughts or ideas to help a bad situation or should I just leave in the middle of the night lol

forgotten wife's picture

Submitted by forgotten wife on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 8:59pm

he's critical of your parents' care? does he want them out faster? how about his kids? why are they living with you and not on their own? living with adult skids will RUIN your marriage...

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Sat, 04/21/2012 - 9:08pm

He feels like he knows what the best care is for my mother. He waits on her hand and foot and expects me to do the same. One of the children SS 26 has graduated college and has gotten a job and will be leaving next weds. The daughter is 29 and got her phd in philosophy and is hoping to get a govt job and she doesn't have any money to last past May. I have severe bipolar I and I'm on disability. I can't take the chaos and my husband does not understand even thou he's gone through education classes. Both my psychologist and psychiatrist say its bad for me mentally to have my parents living in my home. It's enough to just take care of myself. I think the only answer is divorce.

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 4:37am

I thought when SD 20 left to work near her BM for a break from being in college; things would get better. My parents are well off to not need to live with us and probably want to go back to independent living. SD29 is okay to be around but it is still another person in the house. I am thinking that DH enjoys having so many people around depending on him. For me, it feels like a party in which no one goes home lol

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 4:37am

I thought when SD 20 left to work near her BM for a break from being in college; things would get better. My parents are well off to not need to live with us and probably want to go back to independent living. SD29 is okay to be around but it is still another person in the house. I am thinking that DH enjoys having so many people around depending on him. For me, it feels like a party in which no one goes home lol

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 10:20pm

Lot of good suggestions StepAside. You're right about it being a work trip. I guess a lot ofmy issues is jealousy of how pampered his adult children are. I was basically on my own financially and emotionally after age 20 even though my parents had the money to spoil me. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined the amount of parental involvement, both BM and DH with these adult children. It maybe bc I have no children of my own and I'm out of touch with modern parenting. Yes my DH is a good man and very supportive of my disability. I guess I'll just learn to cope until we have the house to ourselves.

steprabbit's picture

Submitted by steprabbit on Tue, 04/24/2012 - 10:39pm

Thank you!

With all the chaos of the last few days, SS26 has graduated college, gotten a job, and will be moving several states away (uhaul is currently in driveway ready to leave tomorrow). I like SS26 a lot except for his messiness. My mother is improving and she and my dad will probably be going back to their own home soon. It seems that life is going pretty well now and I'm just going to enjoy it. I'm not going to dwell on when will the next drama crisis hit lol. DH and I may just be alone with just our dog. It may just happen soon ROFL