If it's that bad, means your husband has not been there in the way he should have. Even if you have a child with him you should probably leave and things will get better. For your own child, it can be damaging to be around that kind of environment, if the steps and you have such feelings for each other.
I al also tired of hearing that it is normal that he puts his children first. Isnt it more normal to put your WIFE first??? I just want my rightful attention and not always be trying to bargain with myself nd telling myself it is okay if EVERYTHING revolves around the Stepson when he visits. He is not a bad kid, but somehow I just feel jealous of all the attention he gets. And I dont care if that sounds as if I have a childhood wound or poor self esteem or whatever. At this stage I am just sick of him.
It does not matter. It does not matter. It does not matter. He is not my kid, He is not my kid, He is not my kid...over and over and over. I have gotten very good at disengaging from the skid, if they want to let him grow up to be a total psychopathic idiot, oh freaking well, at least if he is behind bars someday I will have some peace. The advice I need at this point, is HOW do I totally disengage from DH so that I don't resent and hate him so much? Even though I don't try to help or speak up anymore, I still hear DH thru the walls, still see him when I do come out of hiding being a Disneyland Dad and it makes me SICK!! OP, from what I have learned in my own life, I was the wicked stepmother before disengaging and the wicked stepmother after because now, skid can't get his kicks by tormenting me which means I am an even bigger bitch because he cant refuel his fire by my reactions. It has helped me take a step back and not have the constant stress of thinking I HAD to control the situations, HAD to make him mind, HAD to deal with it. Sorry!
I agree with stepfamilyfriend. Your DH is not only not doing his job as a husband. He's failing his kids too by letting them act like this. He might justify his actions to himself by reminding himself that his kids have a mentally ill BM so it might make them feel good to behave like this, but when they get out into the real world, their bosses won't care about their mentally ill BM. They'll get fired for treating people like crap.
You said in your other blog that SS saw his mom attempt suicide. It also sounds like all of the kids (your DD and his DD and DS) are seeing a therapist. That's good. You should ask this therapist if they could give you the phone numbers of good marriage counselors. More than anything, it sounds like you and DH need to get on the same page regarding the treatment of all the kids. Talking with an experienced marriage counselor who also knows about blended families can help greatly. If DH doesn't want to go to.counseling? Consider getting some for yourself individually. Please consider these options. I know it can be very tempting to want to be the wicked stepmother. However, I don't think that would be a healthy dynamic for your son to grow up in. He deserves a happy, healthy mom who can find constructive ways to better this situation in the long run, as does your daughter.
Acting like a child in response to the bad behavior of a child is ridiculous. Talk to your husband if his children are disrespecting you. He needs to step up.
I am sure the OP meant this to be a more light-hearted discussion rather than an attack on her character and her husband. I am also sure those stepparents with sometimes difficult stepchildren often fantasize from time to time about "evil" things we could do to get back at the disrespectful skids, but that doesn't mean they actually go through with them. However, if you have lived your entire stepparenting life without doing any of these things I commend you. I know I have let my insecurity and selfishness get the best of me and have been known to hide sweets and snacks and my Wii games from mine.
I apologize if my post came across as judgmental. That wasn't my intention. However, it seems as though the OP's DH is not only condoning his kids behavior towards her DD by letting them get away with it, but he's also being mean to the little girl as well. I think he has to take accountability for this, even more than his kids do, because his actions are teaching the kids it's ok to be mean to the OP's DD. Maybe he needs to hear this from a neutral party.
I've thought about doing things like taking digs at the SDs when things were really bad. I wasn't proud of it, but we're all human. So I can understand those thoughts very much. I just get sad and irritated when I read stories where parents aren't teaching their kids to be polite to others, when that's part of their job as parents.
Anon, I think you are right on the neutral party thing. I told my DH just today that he HAS to start counseling with me. He said he would go. My fear is that he will go just to placate me and not really absorb a thing.
Yeah I do miss the humor sometimes. :?
As far as this:
"I know I have let my insecurity and selfishness get the best of me and have been known to hide sweets and snacks and my Wii games from mine."
I have done things like that too. It felt wrong at the time and I tried to get away from it. My SD and I now laugh about some of that stuff and she knows that I am only human, and I tried, and she was difficult to say the least. Having a supportive DH really helped . I just think that if DH isn't doing his part and the relationship has problems, it isn't fair to take it out on his kids.
Lol!!! I thought it was just me... I hide snacks all the time! Anything really good that I know I'll want when they leave. I mean, really... these kids will eat me out of house and home if I let them. I don't share THAT well. Lol
I think we have all done some things to vent, make ourselves feel better in the face of giant obstacles. Before I disengaged, I did little things out of sheer desperation, like deleting his movies from the DVR, taking his pics down, throwing his shit away that got left out, now that I have disengaged, when I grocery shop, I don't buy a damn thing he would want. Do I make sure my home is stocked with everything a person needs from the four food groups? Yes. Do I buy freaking Hawaiian Punch, a 12 pk of coke, cupcakes, gogurts, oreos, slimjims, absolutely not. After he is gone, my one thing I do is, since DH WILL NOT pick up after him and I like a neat home, if it is left in the den, living room, bathroom, etc., I open his bedroom door, stand at it, and hurl it in, wherever it lands, it stays. Childish, yes, but it does make me feel better.
Ha ha! I have also been seen as wicked for the last item you mentioned - my SD14 seems to think it is my job to remove used sanitary products and knickers which have been worn for a week which she leaves lying around the bedroom. I am in no doubt at all that the SKIDS have discussed cutting off my head, scooping out the brain and using it as an umbrella stand. In response, I have always been civil to them, have shouted at one of them ONCE in 9 years, and continue to provide support to my DH in his parenting of them.
This does not mean that I would not secretly like to behave like the witch in Hansel and Gretel at times, and for that I make no apology, and am so glad that I can come onto Steptalk and vent my wicked stepmother feelings, while continuing to be, to all outward appearances, the silent and longsuffering SM.
Disengage and make your dh step up to the plate, Everything they need or want tell them to go to daddy. Do not do anything for them. After a while of your dh having to do everything including cooking and cleaning and their laundry and all their crappy demands he just might get it. I know it worked for me. When dh asks why you are not doing anything tell him why and repeat as often as needed. Do not let him guilt you either. Just keep telling him they are not your kids and you are reminded of it daily so why expect you to treat them like they are?? Not my kid not my problem. I know that most of the time most men do it get it after a while but some don't that something that I risked. But at the same time I couldn't keep doing what I was doing b/c I had 2 kids of my own that was being put on the back burner and I just couldn't anymore. But ya know if he doesn't get it I mean they were going to grow up that way if you were not married to him.
One thing I did was come up with a "Rules of Engagement" sheet for the fridge (right where skid could see it when he came over).
Stuff like, children will not run this house, children will not be involved in adult conversations or decisions, Ex-spouses will not control this household, InLaws won't have a say in this household, all people will be respected in this house...
My favorite, any excuses being made for poor behavior or actions, the woman of the house will be allowed to have poor behavior and actions with many excuses towards those who initiated. I told DH and SS - if everytime SS is a shit to me and an excuse is made, my turn with no bitching at me. Skid was 16/17 at the time of this and really out of control.
My DH used to make excuses for him and MIL. So, if I just have to relax and let go what they say because of XYZ, then so will they. Boy - it felt good to blurt whatever I felt and whenever DH tried to tone me down - tough shit - they don't I won't.
I thought it was funny, I guess they just don't get you
It's OK, they didn't get me either. My SS always makes nasty comments about people, how they look, etc. When I had my C-section with our son, I couldn't shower for a few days and he enjoyed making comments about my hair. DH said he was just trying to "make light of the situation because he knew I was upset I had to have a c-section" and said excuse right in front of him. So after 2 days straight one visit with him not washing his hands, showering or brushing his teeth, I decided to make light of the situation, "I highly recommend you get off my new furniture and take a damn shower. Your hair has greasy, you have not washed your hands since you've come here, yet you are trying to play with the babies' toys, and you have not brushed your teeth either. HMMMMM, I'm glad your mother stiffed us with $4000 in braces so that you could have 12 fillings when they took them off because you didn't brush them properly. How many will you have this time? And then I mumbled, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend".
He got really upset and DH said how I should apologize. I looked at both of them and said - sorry I was just trying to make light of the situation because I know how all those fillings and not being able to keep a girlfriend bothers you.
I think that sometimes when you disengage - people think it's an easy way out....I didn't 100% do this because I hate my SD - I don't really care for her right now. And I didn't do it to act like a child either. I did it because after talking with DH and trying to make him see how much fighting she caused and how much DH was defensive over SD - I had just had it. I pulled back - I am/was trying to show him how much I actually did for her. And at 14 if she's not going to respect me in my home then she's not getting everything I give. I do this for my OWN children to. I am so sick of people thinking SK should get special treatment and have to second guess themselves.........Is their a site for BK's like this???????? Next weekend I am throwing MY BD12 a end of year party! she had done great; she doesn't spit in my face (basically what SD does) so, SD gets a big fat NOTHING from me!!
I am working on totally disengagement. The way I see it, so long as I don't push them into a pot with carrots, onions and potatoes for a nice satisfying skid-stew, I am successful these days!
OH WOW!!! Your MIL is my MIL's twin!! Does yours flop around and talk in tongues, mine does. CREEEEEEEEEEPY. It is all fake I think. My MIL beats her bible and rolls holy nonstop but spews VENOM about others. That bible is a good good thing, but even it does not hide someone's true nature.
"Xanax appetizers" - LOL!!! I MUST remember that phrase! I am right there with you. Although when the "holy trinity" visit, with me it is Netflix. Much cheaper than 'on demand' and they have a great selection. Check 'em out for your next marathon. }:)
I stopped my meds, but I used to go to the cocktail of Celexa, Buspbirone, Xanax, and my DVD set of FRIENDS or Sex and the City. If I had found steptalk then I would have been totally set.
thanks for the laughs!! this is the best post ever, once in while we need to be able to find the humor in it..and there is plenty of it.
my SD goes out of her way to do what i call "her little shitties", it is not full out disrespects but ...little shitties, you know? like saying good day to everybody and turn her face the other way to me...or walk right pass me while im talking to her. and yes..DH is helping and he is trying his best. she is not an easy child but she does get on your nerves.
So, the other day SD needed to wear rain boots:
she said "i ll need rain boots today for school field trip",
I said "really?, well, you dont have rain boots, ask dad to go get you boots then"
she said: "yes we do have rain boots and i need them now"
i said " listen carefully... I HAVE rain boots, you DONT have rain boots and you better learn the first rule among women if you treat a woman like shit, you dont get to use her shoes"
...it was a beautiful moment....
I had to learn this the hard way. 2 years ago "lil miss rules don't apply to me" caused a fight that took me and my BD out of the house for 3 days till the little bitch went to her moms. I switched my visitation schedule around with my ex-husband to minimize the time BD and SD are together-which means the weekend SD is here, BD is not. So instead of parenting both kids, refereeing them, I spend the weekend that SD is here doing whatever the hell I want!!! Big difference!! Pissed my husband off b/c he used to do whatever he wanted EVERY weekend, and now he has to deal with whiny, clingy, lazy bitch and I don't. So I rest up and do self-involved, pampering things for myself on the weekend SD is here and when she's not here, my BD and I can enjoy our time together peacefully.
Spend ur time doing something u enjoy. ..in a different room and if ur
Step kid asks to come in flat out say NO! Now when my step kid asks me
For juice...I tell him "you know where it is and you have hands so help yourself. "
These entitled step kids think we work for them. ..heck no one is paying us
for it. I tell my step kid " please shut the bathroom door when u use the toilet." ...
Goodness he is almost 7 and still thinks everyone wants to smell him stinking
up the bathroom.
If he's singing all day...I'll tell him to stop doing that in the living room.
He has this massive obsession with basketball so he would be hogging
the pc (drawing b ball players) and rhe tv (watching the basketball channel)
and running around the apartment shooting hoops all at the same time. ..talk about
A home invasion. ..seriously!
I am so glad my SS is an adult. I don't have to pull any punches because "he's just a child". He is almost 30. Anything goes.
I have all sorts of evil thoughts about crap to say to SS. So far he is pretty nice to me. He is absolutely enthralled with my money and position - neither of which will EVER benefit him.
I know it is only a matter of time before he shows his ass big time. I am SO ready for him. I've been active in politics for a long time. I can cut him off at the knees with only a sentence or two.
If it's that bad, means your
If it's that bad, means your husband has not been there in the way he should have. Even if you have a child with him you should probably leave and things will get better. For your own child, it can be damaging to be around that kind of environment, if the steps and you have such feelings for each other.
Hi stepfamilyfriend I al also
Hi stepfamilyfriend
I al also tired of hearing that it is normal that he puts his children first. Isnt it more normal to put your WIFE first??? I just want my rightful attention and not always be trying to bargain with myself nd telling myself it is okay if EVERYTHING revolves around the Stepson when he visits. He is not a bad kid, but somehow I just feel jealous of all the attention he gets. And I dont care if that sounds as if I have a childhood wound or poor self esteem or whatever. At this stage I am just sick of him.
OR, there is a lot of good
OR, there is a lot of good info here and good success, by disengaging.
^^THIS^^ Disengaging has made
^^THIS^^ Disengaging has made my life at least somewhat manageable until I figure out what in the world I am going to do with myself.
It does not matter. It does
It does not matter. It does not matter. It does not matter. He is not my kid, He is not my kid, He is not my kid...over and over and over. I have gotten very good at disengaging from the skid, if they want to let him grow up to be a total psychopathic idiot, oh freaking well, at least if he is behind bars someday I will have some peace. The advice I need at this point, is HOW do I totally disengage from DH so that I don't resent and hate him so much? Even though I don't try to help or speak up anymore, I still hear DH thru the walls, still see him when I do come out of hiding being a Disneyland Dad and it makes me SICK!! OP, from what I have learned in my own life, I was the wicked stepmother before disengaging and the wicked stepmother after because now, skid can't get his kicks by tormenting me which means I am an even bigger bitch because he cant refuel his fire by my reactions. It has helped me take a step back and not have the constant stress of thinking I HAD to control the situations, HAD to make him mind, HAD to deal with it. Sorry!
I agree with
I agree with stepfamilyfriend. Your DH is not only not doing his job as a husband. He's failing his kids too by letting them act like this. He might justify his actions to himself by reminding himself that his kids have a mentally ill BM so it might make them feel good to behave like this, but when they get out into the real world, their bosses won't care about their mentally ill BM. They'll get fired for treating people like crap.
You said in your other blog that SS saw his mom attempt suicide. It also sounds like all of the kids (your DD and his DD and DS) are seeing a therapist. That's good. You should ask this therapist if they could give you the phone numbers of good marriage counselors. More than anything, it sounds like you and DH need to get on the same page regarding the treatment of all the kids. Talking with an experienced marriage counselor who also knows about blended families can help greatly. If DH doesn't want to go to.counseling? Consider getting some for yourself individually. Please consider these options. I know it can be very tempting to want to be the wicked stepmother. However, I don't think that would be a healthy dynamic for your son to grow up in. He deserves a happy, healthy mom who can find constructive ways to better this situation in the long run, as does your daughter.
Acting like a child in
Acting like a child in response to the bad behavior of a child is ridiculous. Talk to your husband if his children are disrespecting you. He needs to step up.
In a perfect world the men
In a perfect world the men would step up. But why should they be the bad guy when they have us?
YES to this!!
YES to this!!
I am sure the OP meant this
I am sure the OP meant this to be a more light-hearted discussion rather than an attack on her character and her husband. I am also sure those stepparents with sometimes difficult stepchildren often fantasize from time to time about "evil" things we could do to get back at the disrespectful skids, but that doesn't mean they actually go through with them. However, if you have lived your entire stepparenting life without doing any of these things I commend you. I know I have let my insecurity and selfishness get the best of me and have been known to hide sweets and snacks and my Wii games from mine.
I apologize if my post came
I apologize if my post came across as judgmental. That wasn't my intention. However, it seems as though the OP's DH is not only condoning his kids behavior towards her DD by letting them get away with it, but he's also being mean to the little girl as well. I think he has to take accountability for this, even more than his kids do, because his actions are teaching the kids it's ok to be mean to the OP's DD. Maybe he needs to hear this from a neutral party.
I've thought about doing things like taking digs at the SDs when things were really bad. I wasn't proud of it, but we're all human. So I can understand those thoughts very much. I just get sad and irritated when I read stories where parents aren't teaching their kids to be polite to others, when that's part of their job as parents.
Anon, I think you are right
Anon, I think you are right on the neutral party thing. I told my DH just today that he HAS to start counseling with me. He said he would go. My fear is that he will go just to placate me and not really absorb a thing.
Yeah I do miss the humor
Yeah I do miss the humor sometimes. :?
As far as this:
"I know I have let my insecurity and selfishness get the best of me and have been known to hide sweets and snacks and my Wii games from mine."
I have done things like that too. It felt wrong at the time and I tried to get away from it. My SD and I now laugh about some of that stuff and she knows that I am only human, and I tried, and she was difficult to say the least. Having a supportive DH really helped . I just think that if DH isn't doing his part and the relationship has problems, it isn't fair to take it out on his kids.
Lol!!! I thought it was just
Lol!!! I thought it was just me... I hide snacks all the time! Anything really good that I know I'll want when they leave. I mean, really... these kids will eat me out of house and home if I let them. I don't share THAT well. Lol
I also hide snacks.
I also hide snacks. }:)
I think we have all done some
I think we have all done some things to vent, make ourselves feel better in the face of giant obstacles. Before I disengaged, I did little things out of sheer desperation, like deleting his movies from the DVR, taking his pics down, throwing his shit away that got left out, now that I have disengaged, when I grocery shop, I don't buy a damn thing he would want. Do I make sure my home is stocked with everything a person needs from the four food groups? Yes. Do I buy freaking Hawaiian Punch, a 12 pk of coke, cupcakes, gogurts, oreos, slimjims, absolutely not. After he is gone, my one thing I do is, since DH WILL NOT pick up after him and I like a neat home, if it is left in the den, living room, bathroom, etc., I open his bedroom door, stand at it, and hurl it in, wherever it lands, it stays. Childish, yes, but it does make me feel better.
Absolutely. I don't think I
Absolutely. I don't think I could stay on a forum which is on the waiting list for a sense of humour transplant. }:)
Ha ha! I have also been seen
Ha ha! I have also been seen as wicked for the last item you mentioned - my SD14 seems to think it is my job to remove used sanitary products and knickers which have been worn for a week which she leaves lying around the bedroom. I am in no doubt at all that the SKIDS have discussed cutting off my head, scooping out the brain and using it as an umbrella stand. In response, I have always been civil to them, have shouted at one of them ONCE in 9 years, and continue to provide support to my DH in his parenting of them.
This does not mean that I would not secretly like to behave like the witch in Hansel and Gretel at times, and for that I make no apology, and am so glad that I can come onto Steptalk and vent my wicked stepmother feelings, while continuing to be, to all outward appearances, the silent and longsuffering SM.
Disengage and make your dh
Disengage and make your dh step up to the plate, Everything they need or want tell them to go to daddy. Do not do anything for them. After a while of your dh having to do everything including cooking and cleaning and their laundry and all their crappy demands he just might get it. I know it worked for me. When dh asks why you are not doing anything tell him why and repeat as often as needed. Do not let him guilt you either. Just keep telling him they are not your kids and you are reminded of it daily so why expect you to treat them like they are?? Not my kid not my problem. I know that most of the time most men do it get it after a while but some don't that something that I risked. But at the same time I couldn't keep doing what I was doing b/c I had 2 kids of my own that was being put on the back burner and I just couldn't anymore. But ya know if he doesn't get it I mean they were going to grow up that way if you were not married to him.
One thing I did was come up
One thing I did was come up with a "Rules of Engagement" sheet for the fridge (right where skid could see it when he came over).
Stuff like, children will not run this house, children will not be involved in adult conversations or decisions, Ex-spouses will not control this household, InLaws won't have a say in this household, all people will be respected in this house...
My favorite, any excuses being made for poor behavior or actions, the woman of the house will be allowed to have poor behavior and actions with many excuses towards those who initiated. I told DH and SS - if everytime SS is a shit to me and an excuse is made, my turn with no bitching at me. Skid was 16/17 at the time of this and really out of control.
My DH used to make excuses for him and MIL. So, if I just have to relax and let go what they say because of XYZ, then so will they. Boy - it felt good to blurt whatever I felt and whenever DH tried to tone me down - tough shit - they don't I won't.
SS soon learned how hurtful words can be.
I thought it was funny, I
I thought it was funny, I guess they just don't get you
It's OK, they didn't get me either. My SS always makes nasty comments about people, how they look, etc. When I had my C-section with our son, I couldn't shower for a few days and he enjoyed making comments about my hair. DH said he was just trying to "make light of the situation because he knew I was upset I had to have a c-section" and said excuse right in front of him. So after 2 days straight one visit with him not washing his hands, showering or brushing his teeth, I decided to make light of the situation, "I highly recommend you get off my new furniture and take a damn shower. Your hair has greasy, you have not washed your hands since you've come here, yet you are trying to play with the babies' toys, and you have not brushed your teeth either. HMMMMM, I'm glad your mother stiffed us with $4000 in braces so that you could have 12 fillings when they took them off because you didn't brush them properly. How many will you have this time? And then I mumbled, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend".
He got really upset and DH said how I should apologize. I looked at both of them and said - sorry I was just trying to make light of the situation because I know how all those fillings and not being able to keep a girlfriend bothers you.
It soon stopped.
HA!! Good one.
HA!! Good one.
I think that sometimes when
I think that sometimes when you disengage - people think it's an easy way out....I didn't 100% do this because I hate my SD - I don't really care for her right now. And I didn't do it to act like a child either. I did it because after talking with DH and trying to make him see how much fighting she caused and how much DH was defensive over SD - I had just had it. I pulled back - I am/was trying to show him how much I actually did for her. And at 14 if she's not going to respect me in my home then she's not getting everything I give. I do this for my OWN children to. I am so sick of people thinking SK should get special treatment and have to second guess themselves.........Is their a site for BK's like this???????? Next weekend I am throwing MY BD12 a end of year party! she had done great; she doesn't spit in my face (basically what SD does) so, SD gets a big fat NOTHING from me!!
I am working on totally
I am working on totally disengagement. The way I see it, so long as I don't push them into a pot with carrots, onions and potatoes for a nice satisfying skid-stew, I am successful these days!
(No subject)
OH WOW!!! Your MIL is my
OH WOW!!! Your MIL is my MIL's twin!! Does yours flop around and talk in tongues, mine does. CREEEEEEEEEEPY. It is all fake I think. My MIL beats her bible and rolls holy nonstop but spews VENOM about others. That bible is a good good thing, but even it does not hide someone's true nature.
We need a "crown the evil
We need a "crown the evil step queen thread"
I only speak to the Pampered Princess when she speaks to me since she doesn't listen to a damn thing I say anyway.
I hibernate in my room and watch 'on demand' marathons while dining on xanax appetizers during SD's EOWE visits.
"Xanax appetizers" - LOL!!!
"Xanax appetizers" - LOL!!! I MUST remember that phrase! I am right there with you. Although when the "holy trinity" visit, with me it is Netflix. Much cheaper than 'on demand' and they have a great selection. Check 'em out for your next marathon. }:)
Effexor, Ativan, Direct TV,
Effexor, Ativan, Direct TV, and Step-Talk!!
I stopped my meds, but I used
I stopped my meds, but I used to go to the cocktail of Celexa, Buspbirone, Xanax, and my DVD set of FRIENDS or Sex and the City. If I had found steptalk then I would have been totally set.
To be a wicked
To be a wicked stepmother...........the ultimate-
Exist
thanks for the laughs!! this
thanks for the laughs!! this is the best post ever, once in while we need to be able to find the humor in it..and there is plenty of it.
my SD goes out of her way to do what i call "her little shitties", it is not full out disrespects but ...little shitties, you know? like saying good day to everybody and turn her face the other way to me...or walk right pass me while im talking to her. and yes..DH is helping and he is trying his best. she is not an easy child but she does get on your nerves.
So, the other day SD needed to wear rain boots:
she said "i ll need rain boots today for school field trip",
I said "really?, well, you dont have rain boots, ask dad to go get you boots then"
she said: "yes we do have rain boots and i need them now"
i said " listen carefully... I HAVE rain boots, you DONT have rain boots and you better learn the first rule among women if you treat a woman like shit, you dont get to use her shoes"
...it was a beautiful moment....
That is really funny, it made
That is really funny, it made my day!
Absolutely FABULOUS!!!!!
Absolutely FABULOUS!!!!!
Suppose one of your SKIDS are
Suppose one of your SKIDS are vegetarian... you could always sneak a few meat products into the meals... ie vegetable soups made with chicken stock
Is this a confession? If so
Is this a confession? If so bravo!!
I had to learn this the hard
I had to learn this the hard way. 2 years ago "lil miss rules don't apply to me" caused a fight that took me and my BD out of the house for 3 days till the little bitch went to her moms. I switched my visitation schedule around with my ex-husband to minimize the time BD and SD are together-which means the weekend SD is here, BD is not. So instead of parenting both kids, refereeing them, I spend the weekend that SD is here doing whatever the hell I want!!! Big difference!! Pissed my husband off b/c he used to do whatever he wanted EVERY weekend, and now he has to deal with whiny, clingy, lazy bitch and I don't. So I rest up and do self-involved, pampering things for myself on the weekend SD is here and when she's not here, my BD and I can enjoy our time together peacefully.
Spend ur time doing something
Spend ur time doing something u enjoy. ..in a different room and if ur
Step kid asks to come in flat out say NO! Now when my step kid asks me
For juice...I tell him "you know where it is and you have hands so help yourself. "
These entitled step kids think we work for them. ..heck no one is paying us
for it. I tell my step kid " please shut the bathroom door when u use the toilet." ...
Goodness he is almost 7 and still thinks everyone wants to smell him stinking
up the bathroom.
If he's singing all day...I'll tell him to stop doing that in the living room.
He has this massive obsession with basketball so he would be hogging
the pc (drawing b ball players) and rhe tv (watching the basketball channel)
and running around the apartment shooting hoops all at the same time. ..talk about
A home invasion. ..seriously!
Yes I know this is an old
Yes I know this is an old thread.
But I still want to post a reply.
I am so glad my SS is an adult. I don't have to pull any punches because "he's just a child". He is almost 30. Anything goes.
I have all sorts of evil thoughts about crap to say to SS. So far he is pretty nice to me. He is absolutely enthralled with my money and position - neither of which will EVER benefit him.
I know it is only a matter of time before he shows his ass big time. I am SO ready for him. I've been active in politics for a long time. I can cut him off at the knees with only a sentence or two.