Going to see a lawyer tomorrow. Getting nervous...
Blah. Why can't my DH just be responsible? I really don't want this, but I can't continue to be his mail order bride any longer. Just here to cook and clean and raise his kids and try to make them responsible despite his circus act "let's have fun playing video games every second we are awake don't mind that mess sm will clean it" parenting style. We were going to wait 6 months from our wedding to have kids (which I want DESPERATELY) but its been 6 years. I'm like a prop in his show. I go over to friends homes and all of their husbands are doing dinner dishes. I leave ours in the sink and they never go away until I'm so grossed out I do them. He is a pig, but is angry if the place isn't clean. Then clean it!!!! He wanted me to quit my job bc I was a nanny and desperately in love with the babies I watched. He was jelous of them!!! I love his kids, but they did not want me as much as the babies I watched did bc I took care of those babies from 6 weeks old. His were always screaming for him as I dressed them for daycare and fed them breakfast.
Sigh. I guess I'm just writing out what to tell the lawyer tomorrow...:(
Im so sorry to hear, it looks
Im so sorry to hear, it looks like a lot of this is going on. This too shall pass, no kids with DH, leave and leave now. I wish you luck and please keep us posted.
Thanks . It's hard to know if
Thanks :). It's hard to know if this is the right thing to do. I mean, he's not cheating, he's not abusive, he works like a dog and never bitches about me spending money. But I feel like a slave. He acts like us actually planning and doing things together is a big chore for him. He'll go to a movie, but if its like going to freakin target for stuff for the house or going over bills, he acts like I'm an unreasonable witch. Once when I asked him to help me clean up the house he yelled "I feel like I have another job when I come home!" I said yes, you do. It's called your family. I have dated some doozies in the past, but I didn't have to beg them to go to freakin target with me or for us to make dinner together. DH acts like I asked him to cut off his own arm if I ask him to do anything that isn't his kind of fun.
My DH is like this too. He'll
My DH is like this too. He'll jump thru hoops of fire and break his neck to please skid, but I can't even get him to do as much as take out the damn trash. He acts so put out if I need help with anything and he takes all of the frustration that being whipped by skid causes out on me. He does NOTHING around here but come in every night and leave a trail of mess behind him.
Marriage should be
Marriage should be 50/50.....add step parenting to the mix, and anything less than 50/50 is unacceptable. Your not a doormat.
Good luck tomorrow, you are taking the first step in getting your life back.
Well that's a factor... I
Well that's a factor... I mean, I am a student. And when I do work, I make chicken scratch next to what he makes, and work less hours than he does. that along with us having the kids only 50% of the time...I think that's why he thinks its ok for me to do everything around the house.
But like I said, my friends husbands who work a ton (one is even a doc) all do dishes, help cook, do laundry and clean up the house like its no big deal at all. If DH manages to take the trash out? He acts like I should be carving him a fucking trophy. Btw some of my friends work, but some do not. Idk, I lived with the biggest loser of all time years ago, and even he knew how to iron his own damn shirt, cook dinner, and clean up after it for crying out loud.
I feel like the real reason he hasn't given me a baby is because he knows it will mean he is expected to do things around the house if we have a baby.
It went well at the lawyers.
It went well at the lawyers. Not sure what I'm gonna do, but it felt good to look into my options.
All marriages go through
All marriages go through different phases when balance of contribution shifts back and forth. But, 6 years is not acceptable for the balance to be that out of whack.
I hope all goes well for you.
Good luck.
Sincerely,