Sleeping at a hotel tonight
I'm so fed up with him I grabbed my dog and went to a hotel! 
I have been helping raise his kids for 6 years and he has come up with every reason in the book for us not to have a baby. I have DESPERATELY wanted children for years. He said he did too when we met. Even said it was a deal breaker if I would not be open to invitro if necesary when we were dating. (Eye roll.) he HAS his kids. And I get to watch him enjoy them every day while I try to smile with this sucking wound in my chest. He's mad at me because I'm moody! Yes I'm fucking moody you baby thief! Contstant heartache makes me prone to irritability!!! I'm on clomid and getting surgery to make sure I can get preggo, and he is withholding sex and still hasn't gotten his end of things checked out at the doc even though he was supposed to go weeks ago. F*ck you a$$hole.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Thank you. I appreciate that. But I do t want to be skid free. I love them! I never want to be without them. I just want my own biological kids too! My sd and I fantasize together about me having a baby. She wants a little sibling so badly! Ds not as much but he's a 9 year old boy. He's just worried a baby will chew and slobber on his x box controllers lol.
I'm 36. He says he's afraid
I'm 36. He says he's afraid to have kids because we have a rocky relationship and I am so up and down. Hello!!! I am up and down because I watch him having a great time with his kids, year after year, and its like salt in a wound. (Of course I'm happy he's having fun with them, I'm crazy about them) but its like being chained to the window outside of a resteraunt day after day after day, watching others feast, while you're starving. So yeah, I'm f*cking irritable!!!
I can't stand how men don't
I can't stand how men don't see where they are at fault. Women are just crazy raving lunatics who are angry for no reason. Has he suggested you get therapy yet? I completely understand what you're going through and its so unfair. I had a friend who's husband got a vasectomy and didn't tell her, and they kept trying to get pregnant. Asshole !
^^^THIS^^^
^^^THIS^^^
I am feeling for you. I can
I am feeling for you. I can imagine how hurtful it must be to have him say he wants kids but then but up roadblocks afterward. I am thinking that when he agreed, things were probably going well for you both.
When he says your moody, the "read between the lines" message I get is that he is not ready to bring a child into this relationship right now with the way things are. He's already had one relationship with kids fail, so I suspect he's seeing things may make him hesitant. Something has to change so he needs to let you know all the reasons he is holding back. It's only fair to lay everything out on the table and your reactions will be importnat if he does that. Getting angry will only validate his position.
I think he needs to look past the hurts and moods, and really look at how you are when you have your needs met. I know I can be super moody when I feel like my needs are not considered or respected.
First we (and i mean we)
First we (and i mean we) didn't want to have kids bc I didn't want the kids to feel pushed out or overwhelmed with too many changes. BM moving out, new sm moving in... Then I had major anxiety and depression with all of the adjustments that come with being a super hands on sm and a new husband, house, kids, dog, controlling (albiet with good intentions) mil. So after I got on anti anxiety meds... Then we got into a big court battle with BM, then DH's colitis got so bad he dropped down from 175 to 119 lbs and couldn't walk. He lost his job, we lost our house, then several surgeries and weeks of hospital stays and then my dad died which sparked a family feud. Since that (a year ago) things have steadily calmed down and gotten much better. The whole time, through all of these difficulties, I have been dying inside for a baby. That is agony in itself without all of those other hardships.
After 12 years of mairriage, and several invitros, his last wife left him 6 months after their second child was born. Like she finally got her kids and then split. I think he thinks that will happen with me too. But I like him! I don't just love him, I like him. I'm not trying to fix a broken mairriage with a baby, and I'm not using him to get a baby and then leave. I just want some joy in my life after all of the crap we have been through!!!
It sounds like they BOTH
It sounds like they BOTH wanted kids but not right away becuase of all of the changes... he was on board to having kids and even discussed invitro. That's pretty messed up of a man to get a womans hopes of being a mother up, just to reneg.
Right. He said on his own, us
Right. He said on his own, us having children together was a very high priority. We decided to wait gor 6 months or so from the wedding to try to get pregnant.
You should be damn glad you
You should be damn glad you didn't have a kid with this guy. Both of you would have regretted it the rest of your lives and short marriage.
Yes you have every right to be angry for have fallen for this guys line when all he wanted was a baby sitter and sex. Now you know. Now you find a guy who has no kids and is ready to have them. Yes they're far between at your presumed age but they're out there.
You dodged a huge bullet with this move now make absolutely positively sure that you don't go back I don't care what words escape his lieing mouth. Do not listen to him in fact don't even talk to him again.
Block your phone, email, social pages such as Facebook and get a rabid lawyer.
Wow. I don't know what to say
Wow. I don't know what to say to that.
Ignore the man in the HAT
Ignore the man in the HAT
Lol.
Lol.
I think he is trying to get
I think he is trying to get you to see that this is like an acid that can eat away at the foundation of your marriage. You already feel resentful. That is not going to get any better but will probably only get worse.
Either you have to find a way to be OK with not having children, you have a child with or without his blessing or you break up.
Probably... but harsh in his
Probably... but harsh in his approach, as always.
I keep trying to accept not
I keep trying to accept not having children bc I REALLY do not want a divorce. But after a week I'm in tears over it again.
Don't do that! U'll regret it
Don't do that! U'll regret it if u want kids and talk urself out of it bc oh him
Although I appreciate your
Although I appreciate your input, orange county ca, I'm not sure it's the right advice for me. To be fair, since I'm on here blasting him, everyone should know that I have been "rabid" towards him many times. I'm no angel myself.
This is a plus...sort of... I
This is a plus...sort of... I slipped on ice at the hotel and they gave me my room for free! But now I'm off to make sure I didn't break anything in my arm. Never a dull moment with us I tell ya!
I left a message for a
I left a message for a divorce lawyer that came highly recommended. I'll speak with him and decide what to do from there I guess...
Twill he go to therapy with u
Twill he go to therapy with u or alone? Sounds like he's got some baggage left over from his past
He sounds responsible. He
He sounds responsible. He says your marriage is unstable, and you don't refute that.
Yet, you think having a baby will "solve your marital issues." EYE ROLL, we've never heard THAT one before, right???
You've both had health issues... and you'll need surgery to try for a baby? Yikes.
I think you have to decide what you want more...a baby, or your DH. I think your DH is a pretty smart fellow not wanting to bring another child into the world who will likely grow up with a broken family.
I don't think a baby will
I don't think a baby will solve anything besides taking away the constant pain of not having a baby. I get his argument that he doesn't want to have a baby if we are arguing all of the time, but we are arguing because I am so miserable that I haven't had a child yet. I thought we would wait 6 months, not 6 years.