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Stepdaughter heard me put her down. I know I am a piece of shit.

Jellybean76@hotmail.ca's picture

I have been struggling for a long time with being a step parent. I am not sure when it started, I am sure it is the stress of having 5 kids between us, the increase in reposnsibilities, being overtired all the time, all the drama that pulls my husband away from our family because of his previous situation, my bitterness and resentment. My own issues.

All in all I feel alone. Alone and in a downward spiral.

My stepdaughter heard me call her basically a piece of shit. I know that makes me a piece of shit. I don't know why I find them so fuckin annnoying. I don't know why I can't endure them for the whole 2 weekends they come a month. I hate that I fight with my husband all the time over his lack of parenting and now the battles are between how the kids are treated. It is a big mine vs yours.

I guess she told him she no longer wants to come to our house, although she has said that about living at her mom's too, as has her brother.

I am at my wits end with myself and the stress. I don;t even know what the hell is the point to any of this anymore. But I guess those issues would be a different forum...

oldone's picture

1. Is it the truth that she is a POS?

2. Did she sneak to overhear it or did you call her that?

3. How old is she?

Maybe you were not as horrible as you think.

DFof3's picture

A big step to happiness is: Give yourself a break!
Parenting your own children is a sometimes stressful position, let alone someone else's. Although I am not a step-parent, my girlfriend and I discuss her position as SM to my chuldren so I try to empathise with her issues relating to the challenges she faces...including dealing with me.
Through these comments, I have learned to appreciate our newly formed family more than ever. We are happy together. We talk...alot. We all respect each other and are genuinely concerned about each other. We are not perfect but we accept each other's imperfections as part of the persons we love.
Whoever said that talk is cheap never had a meaningful conversation because in our family, a conversation about some of our issues prevents them from becoming problems. I regularly thank SM for being a great co-parent, better than BM by far. I am a better father thanks to her.

dledden's picture

I think your experience was horrible StepAside. And I think her being a minister is ridiculous. She should have said those things IN PRIVATE, like we do here on steptalk, and never within earshot of her stepkid. i may get bashed here DAILY for skeeving my stepkid, but i say it HERE, where people can agree or disagree and what have you. I would never say to skid directly: you are fat and gross and i wish your baby momma didn't abandon you and would come back and get clean and take you away....NO, I say it here! As for OP, i'm not sure other than maybe like stepaside said above, telling her you are sorry that you said something mean about her. Even if it's a LIE, saying it out loud to her might help make amends.

My skid tells me all the time "I love you"....I respond "I love you too"...I do not love him, at all. but I know he needs to hear it, so I play my part.

Good luck to you,

Smile