Teen reading 50 Shades of Grey
Walking through Kroger my SS13 says his sister is reading that book? I look at the book and it's 50 Shades of Grey...she's 14. I immediately called BM and asked if she was allowing this. She said no she made her give the book back to her friend.
I explained that she needs to call the friends Mom and let her know that her daughter is reading it. This is the same friend who brought an inappropriate video called Project X to my house. My understanding is that it was a documentary/reality thing about college girls getting high and jumping on trampolenes clothed and unclothed. We took it away.
We aren't strict and let the kids read pretty much anything as long as it's not pornographic, we also let them watch R movies within reason...scary stuff, Step Brothers, Jackass. We're not that strict but we do draw a line.
Why is none of this a red flag to her that SD's friends need to be monitored more closely.
Have you ever had so much to
:jawdrop:
Have you ever had so much to say that you couldn't coherantly organize your thoughts? That's me right now.
Not a book for a 13yo, that's
Not a book for a 13yo, that's what Twilight is for, go buy her the series.
I immediately called BM and
I immediately called BM and asked if she was allowing this. She said no she made her give the book back to her friend.
I explained that she needs to call the friends Mom and let her know that her daughter is reading it
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WOW!...lol. I don't know your story, but WOW. BM is ok with step mom telling her what to do and how to do it? Impressed.
That was my thought as well.
That was my thought as well. I'm not okay with BM calling me & telling me what to do & how with HER children. I certainly wouldn't have her calling me telling me what do & how with my own.
And if she ever told me I needed to call someone else's mother to tell her how to raise her child...???
Nah...that's one of those "not my kid...not my problem" areas IMO. If anyone was going to make a phone call, in our house it'd be DH.
I've been raising those kids
I've been raising those kids since they were 4 and 5 more so than either biological parent. As a stepmother I get to manage everything and she gets to be fun time BM.
I don't give her a choice in
I don't give her a choice in the matter. I'm tactful about it, but sometimes she's just so stupid. I don't now or ever put up with her crap, but that doesn't keep her from making horrible decisions and not weighing out the consequences of her decisions.
Yep, I wouldnt appreciate
Yep, I wouldnt appreciate anyone telling me that my kid was reading inappropriate stuff. It sounds as if bm was aware of the situation and told her to give it back. I wouldnt call the other mom to let her know her daughter was reading it. It's not my place. Being the mother of a 14 year old girl and a 13 year old boy I know these teens get into so much stuff-inappropriate books, movies, twitter, facebook-gah! Its endless. I wouldnt sweat it too much if I found my daughter reading it. I'd take it away, tell her it's not appropriate reading material, and then move on. It wouldnt necessarily raise any red flags for me
My SD14 is very manipulative
My SD14 is very manipulative and plays on her BM's emotions. This is also the same BM who let her go on a camping trip after she was told not to by her father...the same BM who lets her stay days on end with friends who live in abusive households...etc. She knows as far as the Father and I are concerned she's lost her choice in not liking what we say when she lost custody.
Our SD14 had a friend who was caught using drugs twice and the 2nd time ended up in the hospital. She has more than one friend that hs attempted suicide. She is drawn to the wrong crowd. Her brother 13 is so scared for her and her choice of friends he rats her out for her own good.
So if a step-mother said your
So if a step-mother said your kid has stolen some drugs out of the medicine cabinet and you should call the school where she is attending classes right that moment you'd tell her to shut up and not tell you what to do.
This is part of the reasons so many step/bio parents look like idiots.
Very comparable to the Republicans telling the President "No" no matter what the issue is.
OCC...as usual, you're
OCC...as usual, you're completely off the mark. The kid is reading a book. It's not illegal, it doesn't put her life in danger, & it doesn't make her a thief...ALL things that having stolen drugs at school would do.
My guess is that ignorant comments, mouths needlessly blabbering, & a step/bio-parent's "need" to control another account for a larger population of the step/bio parents looking like idiots.
You people are all missing
You people are all missing the point. Teens should not be reading this. And at not time does Smomof3 say that BM should tell the other parents what to do or how to raise their kid, just inform them of the situation then let them decide what to do. That is the correct course of action. Maybe the other parent does not want her daughter reading it either and doesn't know about it. Either way there is no harm in calling and saying "I don't know I you know it or not but I just wanted to let you know that your child is reading (book title or whatever)."
And if I got a call like that
And if I got a call like that from ANYone? I'd tell them to shove off. Oh wait... I have. I got that kind of call when my 10yo read "The Iliad", as well as when I took him to see Troy. Got another call when my other 10yo (a few years later) was reading "Doctors From Hell", about medical experimentation by the Nazis.
I don't get it. Would you
I don't get it. Would you really get upset if someone was just trying to inform you of something you may not have known about. Again not trying to tell you what to do, just informing. Weither you care if your kid is doing it or not wouldn't you want to know in case you did not want you kid doing it. I will admit it can be taken different ways depending on how the person say's it.
If someone saw your kid smoking, doing drugs, sleeping around, stealing or any other number of things that are generally frowned upon wouldn't you want to be informed so you can do something about it before it goes any farther than you would like it to.
Maybe I am the exception to the rule but I would want to know, tell me. Of course I don't want you calling and judging me, it can come down to how you say it, but I want to know if you saw my underage daughter blow--- some guy, or my underage son gave your kid a Playboy, or you caught my kid getting drunk or smoking. I may not like the way you told me but I want to know.
If you caught you kid doing something that you did not want them to do wouldn't you tell your spouse? Of course you would, so that you both can plan the next course of action. Well like it or not we are all in a situation were we are in families with more than 2 parents and all need to be informed about what is happening with the kid(s)so that we can raise them the way we want. Weither all parties get along or cooperate is another thing.
Where I grew up and when I was growning up if I did something wrong and got caught the least I could expect is that by the time I got home my mother would know about it. Then it was her choice of what to do or not to do about it.
There is an old African proverb that goes something like this, "It takes a community to raise a child." While that may not be 100% true, it is true that with the communities help raising a child is a lot easier.
I agre^^ I would want to know
I agre^^
I would want to know if my daughter was doing something "inappropriate". It, of course, all comes down to how the other person approaches it. If they did a simple, "I don't know if you're aware, but I thought you would appreciate knowing..." it would be okay. I wouldn't deal well if they approached me in an accusing or judgemental way though.
Oh yes - "it takes a
Oh yes - "it takes a village"...
There is a huge difference between my kid reading a book and doing drugs or drinking. Last I heard? Reading is not illegal. SO yeah - if someone wanted to tattle on my kid reading a book? I'd tell 'em to eff off. I don't censor books.
And really? It's sex. My kids have known about sex/reproduction since they were small. It's not dirty. It's actually quite normal. I'd rather they read about sex than violence.