Newbie to this forum, not newbie to Step drama
Hello all...I am a newbie to this forum. Been on several other step family support sites that have gone away...been reading here for a while and need to vent.
I am not a newbie to any Step-parent issues. In fact, I think I am at the end of my step-parenting as my SSs are now adults and have graduated from High School.
I am a custodial stepmom and have literally raised my stepson's since 1996 when I married their father. My husband has always had sole custody, his ex his a life loser that has been in and out of jail, on drugs, never paid support, went years without seeing the boys, etc. I never thought I would have been the primary care giver, but that is just how things have worked out.
Anyway, my second stepson graduated from High School last week and BM graced us with her presence. No issues there, some awkward conversation as she does not live here, but whatever...my issues comes from the following morning.
We are having a pool put in and the concrete guy was due at our house early. I heard voices in front of my house and it was like 7:30 in the morning. I looked out my bedroom window and saw BM, her dad, and her daughter taking photos in front of my house. I went and got my husband and told him to go ask her WTF she is doing and he brushed me off. By the time he went out there, they were gone. So while I was bothered it, I kind of forgot about it until today.
So I see my SS's facebook page today and see that he is tagged in photo of BM's. Her profile photo is the photo they took in front of my house last Saturday morning. Really? Who does that?
I am totally weirded out by this. She is known for attention seeking behavior, so I am not going to give her any sort of reaction. I just thought that since the kids were grown that the drama would be over.
So is your house now "her
So is your house now "her house?"
Uggg. YUCK!
I'll validate you: it would weird me out too.
As I saw her taking the
As I saw her taking the photos I did think "she is going to lie and tell everyone this is her house". She has compulsive lying/reality problem issues.
Thanks for your validation. My in laws were at my house too and acted as though it was not abnormal (even though they weirdos themselves). I just called my husband and told him what a violation it is to have had that done and for him to just blow me off. So I am sure he will be extra nice to me this weekend. Barf.
So effing annoying!
You're welcome! frequent
You're welcome!
frequent reality problem issues appears to be a common theme among all the BM's that drive us to this site...
report the photos on fb just
report the photos on fb just to be annoying.
Oh that is a fantastic idea.
Oh that is a fantastic idea.
The three of them were taking
The three of them were taking turns taking photos so a combination of the three. All I kknow is that her pic has my front porch/door behind her. So weird...
That is creey, she clearly is
That is creey, she clearly is jealous and wants what you have.
Definitely creepy. I'd hang
Definitely creepy. I'd hang DH by his toes for letting this one go.
Copying is the sincerest form
Copying is the sincerest form of flattery. In the grand scheme of things I don't see a problem worth spending any of your new found freedom on.
Weird yes - harmless yes.
I think she is trying to get
I think she is trying to get a reaction out of me which will not happen. She has been absentee for the majority of the past 16 years so we have been lucky in that regard but we have had several instances of crazy/whacked out behavior. She lives hours away, so if I see her again taking photos or in my neighborhood I will call the police.
Another thing I thought about after the fact is that we live in a gated community, so she had to wait at the gate and slide thru at 7:30 in the morning.
Where did I say the kids met
Where did I say the kids met her outside for photos? I am pretty sure I said it was HER, HER DAD, and HER DAUGTHER. She tagged my SS in the photo on facebook but neither boy was in the photo.
Taking the picture is
Taking the picture is probably much less distrubing than the fact she posted it on a social networking site. Thats def annoying and I know as stepparents we are automatically on the defense about everything and think its all a conspiracy but maybe she really was just trying to make up for lost time with her daughter who is now an adult? I wouldve probably thought the same thing you did if I was in the situation but maybe the whole thing was innocent? maybe not.
On the other hand since u are friends with the daughter on FB comment on the pic something about the house like "who knew the diggers were putting in our pool that day it looks so peaceful in the front yard" or something to that effect so people know it is your house.
So three people who are not
So three people who are not even related to you just showed up at your home to take pictures of themselves in front of it? If SS was not in any of the pictures, then yes it IS completely wrong. My DH would not have been so ho hum about that.
Right? I don't understand
Right? I don't understand people saying it's nothing to be concerned about. NO ONE had any business being there. WTF?
I must be old-fashioned. Random people come onto my property, I'm asking fucking questions. My husband would have shot first and asked questions later.
That is bonkers. I am so glad
That is bonkers. I am so glad we never had to deal with that. The last time I saw her before last weekend was in 2008...so I do thank GOD for that.
Showing up in a gated
Showing up in a gated community (or any community) on personal property without an invitation is called trespassing. Having to sneak through the gate seems to add a bit of a criminal feel to the whole situation. I think some posters misunderstood when you said she tagged SS that he was outside side with her when he was not. This gives me the major creeps. Hope it doesn't happen again!
Hi, Every think she is just
Hi,
Every think she is just a dumbass, and did not actually care what the background was in the picture?
It’s possible she wanted da picture as she got non she liked at the graduation. She was leaving town and stopped over to get the picture with her daughter and only have a bit of time.
I assume she has no custody right? She could not just drive off with daughter to find a better spot, so they took pictures there.
I think you may be looking past the actual picture to the background when the real intention was only to get a picture of them together.
Please go back and do a
Please go back and do a re-read.
My two stepson's live with me. It was in front of my house. My stepsons WERE NOT IN ANY OF THE PHOTOS. The daugther is HER BIO DAUGHTER, with her 4th baby daddy. Not a step kid of mine. NO ONE FROM MY HOME WAS IN THE PHOTO. PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIVE IN MY HOME, AND WHO ARE NOT RELATED TO ME TOOKS PHOTOS IN FRONT OF MY HOME.
It's very weird.
Ohh yea... that is dumb
Ohh yea... that is dumb than...
ROTFLMAO
ROTFLMAO
Oh dear God are you
Oh dear God are you serious?
I just just relooked...her page is open and my home address is not visible. I will flag the photo with facebook. Someone did post a comment "I love your front porch" which made me vomit in the back of my throat a bit.
Thanks for the info...
I think your BM came back &
I think your BM came back & took those pictures for a reason. Pethaps she wanted others to think/assume that is her house or a close relatives. She onviously did it for a reason & with intention. I wonder. When you look at the picture she took- is there anything in the picture that is now missing from your porch? Sorry, but my mind got to thinking. Why your porch? They could have easily taken a nice picture elsewhere-- there has to be a reason why they got up early, got all put together to have these pictures taken, waited to get into your gated community, to take pictures on her ex husbands fron porch??
Extremely wierd!!! Im laughing my butt off at the posters who thought this could be normal somehow?? If our BM drove to our state, then showed up in the early am hours. Stood on MY front porch & took pictures with people then took off?? Id feel disgusted & violated to say the least!!!! Ewww. Then, she posted them on FB? Hmmm. Look deeper. Gotta be a reason she did it. Id personally look & see if she stole something of mine. Just sayin