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Dr. Phil on Step parenting

tweetybird74's picture

Submitted by tweetybird74 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 9:14am

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General Discussion

I think this will be of benefit for anyone who is just starting out in the step-parent role. The advice is good, unfortunatley I did not see this 8 years ago when I became a step-parent as I think it would have helped for sure.

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/243

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:28am

I'm supposed to "actively support" psycho behavior? How does that help anyone?

The most we did was NOT talk bad about BM in front of the kid and tried to be good examples for her.

BM, however, trashed us anytime she got the chance. That's ok, kid now knows, of her OWN observation what is what.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 9:22am

I agree with much of that advice. However, I do think SPs have to discipline. And I think the bio parent should convey to the kids that they must obey their sp, regardless of the SKs age (if they're under 18). This becomes fuzzy when the sp and SK are close in age, but I still think that in those cases, there needs to be some sort of adult/kid boundaries.

Sweetnothings's picture

Submitted by Sweetnothings on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 7:38am

I don't mind being on a train, as long as I'm driving !!!! I'd call it the Karma Express, and make sure that sd21 was tied to the tracks up ahead !! }:)

Plus, if it IS a train and the Adult Skids are the passengers I think they missed their station back there called "WelcomeToAdultLifeWhereYouNeedToGetAJobAndStopSpongingOffDadVille!!!!"

Gee, I guess they're hanging on board until the train reaches BM's town.... "Loserville !!"

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:37am

I didn't choose my parents, I didn't choose my uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters...it just IS. Period. So sick of the BS for poor kids of divorce.

dreadingit's picture

Submitted by dreadingit on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 11:19am

Dr Phil is a jackass. He says shit like this because his audience is made up of good for nothing biomoms who sit on their asses watching daytime television and collecting child support all day.
Or wait, maybe that's just the bm that I know.

BigEasy1203's picture

Submitted by BigEasy1203 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 12:45pm

The problem with that kind of crap is that it's all theory. Just because you follow it doesn't mean everything is going to turn out roses.

I did all of that stuff he mentioned. I always let the bio-parent lay down the law, I tried hard to be there for the kids, and I did my best to build a relationship. It all seemed to work in the beginning, when the kids were younger.

Problem is, it didn't stop the the kids from becoming lazy, abrasive, unpleasant, rude teenagers who disrespect me and my wife on a daily basis. Oh, and a SS who steals from me and lies about it, and doesn't want to have a relationship with me at all anymore. Believe me Dr. Phil, I didn't choose that.

I'm just tired of the viewpoint that because these are kids that are "passengers on this train", that somehow makes it okay to make my life miserable and I simply have to accept and deal with it.

jenb100's picture

Submitted by jenb100 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 5:30pm

This is exactly this issue I face every day. I get along very well with BM and my SS lives with me. He was a joy as a young child but has become miserable to deal with on a daily basis. He has a constant chip on his shoulder and I do EVERYTHING for him. His mother sees him maybe once a month and my husband works away a lot.

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 5:24pm

What a crock! Apparently, Dr. Phil is not a step parent. I had step parents when I was a kid, and nobody made the transition easy for me. WTF?