Can someone tell me what the norm is for wedding photos? Is it OK for my DH to be in the same photo with the bride and his ex-wife or in a group photo with his ex-wife if I am not in it? Just wondering. Thanks!
Thanks everyone, I was just wondering because I read somewhere where it was not considered appropriate. The wedding was Saturday and for the first time EVER my SD was polite and kind and gracious towards me - it didn't come across as fake either. I was really pleasantly surprised. Well anyway, DH was in a wedding photograph with her and his ex. but I was also called for one with DH and SD. I was in group photos too. It seems she did separate photos - ones without me and ones with. I wasn't sure and DH wasn't sure either but went along with it rather than make a fuss at her wedding - which is fine. It isn't like she tried to put them "together" or anything.
I don't know what's normal, but I can tell you that my stepdad would not be in a photo with is exwife if his life depended on it. He had been upfront about this with both his sons.
Both his sons have gotten married, both his sons wanted mom and dad in a photo, and it didn't happen. It has nothing to do with loyalty to my mother; it's his own personal boundary.
If a bride wants a photo of her and her parents who are divorced I think this is fine as long as the new wife is included in at least some of the other family pictures along side dad as well as even getting one of the bride, dad and his new wife. It's a freaking picture, not a couples dance where the parents are expected to dance together. To that I would say HELL NO!! If the bride excludes the dads new wife in all pictures I see that as just mean and cruel. If the bride was that way I'd leave the wedding at that point.
Well SD BM wasnt at the wedding as it was abroad, & BM wont fly, even for her daughter, sooo i was in some of the wedding pics, Sd didnt say anything but SO wanted me in them...however, when it came to showing the photos at a later reception, all the ones where i was next to SO, i had been "cut out"...either by close ups of SO therefore not showing me, or the photo stopping just on his left shoulder...I did notice a couple where my elbow or strand of hair was there as she obv didnt want to cut out Daddy....it did/does annoy me, but it is far more a show of her petty insecurity and made people aware just what i have to contend with, dont think anyone bar her "friends" thought wow thats smart...anyway thats just my little comment lol.
If the DH and SM are contributing any funds for the wedding, SM should be in some of the pictures. I agree with the idea of having a picture taken of DH, SM and bride, but DH should not be expected to pay extra for the photo. Yes, it IS the bride's day but this is a good time to show off her grace and good manners.
Yes, Echo I was surprised. I will say that her new in-laws are very, very nice and made sure my DH and I were made to feel comfortable. Maybe my SD has finally put her big girl panties on. Let's hope so!
I can only tell you what I did. I had a photo with SD, groom my H and I. My H had the same photo but with his ex and not me. This did not hurt because we knew it was for the SD and my H has no feelings of romance towards is ex. I can't emphasize enough how this also wasn't a problem because BM has never been a problem for me (MIL took her place in many ways as a nemesis). I might have felt differently if she had. In the end, I just thought it was nice for my SD to have a photo with both her parents at her wedding. The picture represented my SD w/her parents, not my H and his ex as a family again.
When my SD got married she really wanted photos with her mom and dad. My DH looks awful in them because he was clenching his teeth while trying to smile. He was very uncomfortable doing it. I did not have a problem with it - they are her parents after all. She also included me in some pics with DH and her and her new DH, but if it was today, I doubt she would be that kind. Her wedding was 10 years ago. What I did find offensive was that she did not invite our son (DH and my bio son - her half brother), but she invited all her young cousins (approx. 6-8 of them). We brought our son anyway since he is her brother after all LOL. We did tell before hand that we would be bringing him and basically wouldn't accept him not being welcome. I actually just remembered this little tidbit of her nastiness that I just started noticing about 3 years ago. uh, go figure. I wonder what other thoughtless things she has done that I have forgotten about.
The insecure selfish fool
The insecure selfish fool could be the SD who DEMANDS her
parents take a photo together or the SM who DEMANDS they don't.
After my son's graduation, we took pictures of DS, his dad and I. DS his dad and SM. DS and his dad, DS and I and DS and my parents.
The samething was done was done when my SD graduated from 5th grade 3 years ago. We will repeat it when she graduates from middle school this June.
Taking a picture with your parents on your wedding day has nothing to do with pretending your parents are still married.
Thanks everyone, I was just
I don't know what's normal,
I don't know what's normal, but I can tell you that my stepdad would not be in a photo with is exwife if his life depended on it. He had been upfront about this with both his sons.
Both his sons have gotten married, both his sons wanted mom and dad in a photo, and it didn't happen. It has nothing to do with loyalty to my mother; it's his own personal boundary.
If a bride wants a photo of
If a bride wants a photo of her and her parents who are divorced I think this is fine as long as the new wife is included in at least some of the other family pictures along side dad as well as even getting one of the bride, dad and his new wife. It's a freaking picture, not a couples dance where the parents are expected to dance together. To that I would say HELL NO!! If the bride excludes the dads new wife in all pictures I see that as just mean and cruel. If the bride was that way I'd leave the wedding at that point.
doubled
doubled
Well SD BM wasnt at the
Well SD BM wasnt at the wedding as it was abroad, & BM wont fly, even for her daughter, sooo i was in some of the wedding pics, Sd didnt say anything but SO wanted me in them...however, when it came to showing the photos at a later reception, all the ones where i was next to SO, i had been "cut out"...either by close ups of SO therefore not showing me, or the photo stopping just on his left shoulder...I did notice a couple where my elbow or strand of hair was there as she obv didnt want to cut out Daddy....it did/does annoy me, but it is far more a show of her petty insecurity and made people aware just what i have to contend with, dont think anyone bar her "friends" thought wow thats smart...anyway thats just my little comment lol.
duplicate
duplicate
duplicated
duplicated
If the DH and SM are
If the DH and SM are contributing any funds for the wedding, SM should be in some of the pictures. I agree with the idea of having a picture taken of DH, SM and bride, but DH should not be expected to pay extra for the photo. Yes, it IS the bride's day but this is a good time to show off her grace and good manners.
Yes, Echo I was surprised. I
Yes, Echo I was surprised. I will say that her new in-laws are very, very nice and made sure my DH and I were made to feel comfortable. Maybe my SD has finally put her big girl panties on. Let's hope so!
I can only tell you what I
I can only tell you what I did. I had a photo with SD, groom my H and I. My H had the same photo but with his ex and not me. This did not hurt because we knew it was for the SD and my H has no feelings of romance towards is ex. I can't emphasize enough how this also wasn't a problem because BM has never been a problem for me (MIL took her place in many ways as a nemesis). I might have felt differently if she had. In the end, I just thought it was nice for my SD to have a photo with both her parents at her wedding. The picture represented my SD w/her parents, not my H and his ex as a family again.
When my SD got married she
When my SD got married she really wanted photos with her mom and dad. My DH looks awful in them because he was clenching his teeth while trying to smile. He was very uncomfortable doing it. I did not have a problem with it - they are her parents after all. She also included me in some pics with DH and her and her new DH, but if it was today, I doubt she would be that kind. Her wedding was 10 years ago. What I did find offensive was that she did not invite our son (DH and my bio son - her half brother), but she invited all her young cousins (approx. 6-8 of them). We brought our son anyway since he is her brother after all LOL. We did tell before hand that we would be bringing him and basically wouldn't accept him not being welcome. I actually just remembered this little tidbit of her nastiness that I just started noticing about 3 years ago. uh, go figure. I wonder what other thoughtless things she has done that I have forgotten about.