why does the bm what my sd to hate me and not want to like being with me---
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she always says to sd one more sleep and back to moms.... stay focused 5.5 years till freedom from them??? wth that alone is so hurtful since we do soooo much for hte kids... we have them 50 50 same as her... i dont get why she is sooo hurtful and said something like that why what the hell does it all mean to her to be like this?????!!!
stay focused 5.5 years till
stay focused 5.5 years till freedom from them
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I guess you missed that? Or ignored. But whatever. It is hurtful, because this SO CALLED mother is trying to make it seem that the child is being punished by being with her dad. What a lousy person to do that. But people like that don't care if they hurt their won kids. So sad.
I dont understand this
I dont understand this either. Theres always a surprise waiting for SD when she goes back to BMs. Why cant it be exciting to go see dad, why does there have to be a bribe involved? If you got your child around other kids, and didnt teach them to be so co-dependent, they would be allowed to enjoy themself away from you.
People dont know the damage they do when they put the child on the same level as they would a partner. When they share the bed, and make every second about them and for them. Then BM wants to call it 'separation anxiety' when SD has to act like a big girl. Get a grip!
^^^^^^^^^^ Exactly!!! BM
^^^^^^^^^^
Exactly!!! BM calls the kids multiple times on their weekends with us and tells the skids that she has a surprise for them when they get back.
The skids feel guilty for leaving their poor bm who is so lonely when they're gone.
She has absolutely no life, so when they're with us and dad's attention is actually shared with other people, they are beside themselves.
BM, sd, and ss all sleep in the same bedroom, sd in bed with bm. She treats ss like he's the man of the house and tells them both EVERYTHING, like they're her best girlfriends. SICK!!
I took it that to BM is
I took it that to BM is saying that to the kids about them staying with the dad...not sure now.
this is how i read it too.
this is how i read it too. the question marks at the end make it seem like it was another statement said by BM that OP is asking about.
i'd say it has to be more
i'd say it has to be more about her insecurity issues than trying to directly hurt you. i doubt she cares if she hurts you. but i have heard many divorced mom's say it is VERY hard to watch your children go to another home with another female figure in their life.
the fear that the other woman or family will be more appealing is overwhelming and the BM's who can't get over themselves and their fear generally act out by badmouthing the other home.
it's very common.
my blog meant t osay this
my blog meant t osay this .
my step daughter's mother tells her when she leaves her mms home only two sleeps at dads and then back to me your moms house... then she will say to sd stay focused only 5.5 years till you can make your own opinion and not see or listen to your dad or step mom ever again... who in the hell says this stuff to kids?? bm is so mean! We never get to have a good time anymore, it feels like i have to have a guard up all the time.... what do i do ? how do i talk to the girls with out seeming mean like their mother?? help me with this please.
And when the skids are with
And when the skids are with us she is constantly texting them all the time.... I dont mean to be rude but we only get to talk and see them 50/50 too we want t ospend time with them too.
it's about control. she
it's about control. she can't let go.
one suggestion is to have a set time, before bed or something, and tell her the kids will call her at that time, once a night. then she isn't interrupting your family time whenever she rings.
if they have their own phones i don't know a way to manage what she does unless you take the phones away from them.
Sometimes I think that BMs
Sometimes I think that BMs get paranoid that their child(ren) might form a closer relationship with the step mother than themselves, or think that they prefer one parent to the other.
She is probably feeling very insecure and so is trying to ensure that your SD "knows" where her loyalty should lie in her mind?
That would be my best guess.
BM's are Jealous....Just cant
BM's are Jealous....Just cant stand the thought of their Biokids preferring to stay with Daddy and his nice wife....
So in order to put a wedge in the ideal situation...(dad has new wife and the kids and at last the kids may have the perfect family scenario to help bring them up the best way possible) the BM 'invents' objections to the relationship....
She cant help it....
The women needs counselling so she can feel better about her ex having a new wife....and hopefully she can then become comfortable with her kids having a new mother (step) in their lives....then she too would be able to get on with her life and be happier...
suggest you get DH to mention to her not to say things like that to the skids as it upsets them when she aint around....and we wouldnt want to have to drop the kids off in the middle of the night to her if they were crying for mommy
BM1 says the same type thing
BM1 says the same type thing to us and SD15. You only have to "tolerate" "this" for 3 more years. "Just wait until she's 18 and does not HAVE to see you". Blah blah blah. BM1 tried the "when you are 12" thing too but court appointed GAL set them straight so now we just have to listen to the hateful poison and hope that SD15 sees through this nonsense at least a little bit. We see glimmers of hope. SD15 is her mother's best friend. It is pathetic.
Oh oh oh!! Our BM does this
Oh oh oh!! Our BM does this crap too!!! We hear alot of I miss you so much too when their BM calls during our visits with SSs too!!! She always goes & gets them gifts & tells them crap like "if you were here i could give it to you now. Just anither night till you can hv it!!"
She is constantly scheduling & signing them up for everything!! Then makes us look like crap when we hv to say no. Shes so jealous. Its a control issue!!
Oh oh oh!! Our BM does this
Oh oh oh!! Our BM does this crap too!!! We hear alot of I miss you so much too when their BM calls during our visits with SSs too!!! She always goes & gets them gifts & tells them crap like "if you were here i could give it to you now. Just anither night till you can hv it!!"
She is constantly scheduling & signing them up for everything!! Then makes us look like crap when we hv to say no. Shes so jealous. Its a control issue!!