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Better when DH is not around

bdh1986's picture

Submitted by bdh1986 on Tue, 12/27/2011 - 11:40pm

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Blended Family Issues

Is there anyone else who notices that they get along with the skids when the DH or SO is not around? I love them and actually don't need to run away whenever my DH is not around. But when he is, I feel like they can all walk home on foot and I'll pack them snacks and give them money to get there... they get on my nerves so bad. lol. Seriously though, I don't have any problems out of them when we're alone. My DH makes it bad because he doesn't put his foot down with them. They run him over.

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 12:46am

I think that's pretty typical since most smoms have issues with the bd's parenting. Just like our relationships with each other would be great without the skids, our relationships with the skids would be great without the other parents' involved, even their own! LOL

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 7:05am

I actually had the opposite happen. YSS would behave in front of his dad and as soon as his dad went to work he'd shoot me daggers while being a jerk and if I said anything about him destroying my house I was called a bitch and threatened. My husband didn't believe it at first because YSS acted like an angel when he was in the room. Took other family members seeing it or being victims of it too to tell my husband and calling husband on the phone with it in my pocket so he could hear his precious. YSS has not been to my house in over a year and its been pure bliss. He's 21 now and has boycotted us because he didn't take care of the car I bought him so he wanted us to buy him a brand new one to destroy and we didn't give him a 42 inch flat screen tv when he moved.

stired_crazy's picture

Submitted by stired_crazy on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:04am

Mine was the opposite too, I got more respect if BF was home then not. When he was not home SS19 would try and boss me and say things to me he would NEVER say in front of his father let alone to his father.

He became a erogent and cocky and bossy, like as if he was my elder, and reussed to follow thru with anything that his father asked him to do thru out the day until the last 30 mins b4 his father got home from work.

And what he did do was not complete always half way done if that.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:51am

Most definately...when DH is not around, it is like Jekyl and Hyde...SD11 is actual pretty cool to hang out for the most part with but as soon as Dh comes in...she reverts back to being the most annoying person on the planet. :?

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 11:31am

Well, its better AND worse. My ss13 also lets his true bad self fly when dh isnt around. Full force. He does at least, typically, make some effort to keep it under wraps if my dh is present in the room (although dh doesnt have to actually leave for ss to start acting up-he can just be in the bathroom for goodness sake). So ss IS worse without dh present.

However, in some ways it IS also better because I dont have to witness all the episodes of "how to be a bad parent" and the "Dysfunction junction" when dh is not around. I do not have to watch dh go back on boundaries and limits we set. And if dh is actually gone long enough-ss at some point wisens up and realizes, "gee, if I want anyone to cook for me, do my laundry, take me xyz, NOT send me to my room-I better get my head out my azz and be nice"-usually dh is NOT gone the length of time it takes ss to realize this.