MIL said it was "MY" fault kids act this way!!
I work FT - DH is home recovering from back surgery. At the begining of summer I sat w/ the kids and made chores (I am the mean mom and they call SH the "whatever" dad)
anyway......I try my best to follow up on them, make sure things are completed, I even check friends on FB to make sure they aren't being "bad". I don't let them talk back; if I punish them they stay punished. And my number one thing is I DO NOT back off when they are good - I have learned this is when they GET YOU!! If you know what I mean.
Well.......DH had let them basically come and go as they plz.....w/o chores being done, when they backtalk (their mouthes are so out of control - we don't take them places) Here's an example.
the other night my BD12 lied and said she had a ride home but didn't so I went and got her......I grounded her for the night. Final.
SD14 came home and was completly rude to DH he grounded her too.
NOT 10 FREAKIN MINUTES LATER :jawdrop: he came out and ungrounded them both and let them have sleepovers!! I wanted to kill him and then SD of course looks at me like hahhahahaha!!
These are the reasons why divorce happens!! - then MIL has nerve to say - "You always complain about the kids; but it's your fault" - I said "No it's your sons!!"
God
Sometimes when it all gets
Sometimes when it all gets too much for me - this type of stuff - I smash things. Your MIL sounds like the sort of person to make you want to smash things. Your DH too if he makes a habit of completely undermining your attempts to keep order. I tend to buy a lot of cheap crockery at charity shops - there is then always some to smash should the occasion arise.
For your DH, I recommend the time out on the "naughty step" - generally works for 4 year olds, or those with a mental age of.
Same broken record here. I
Same broken record here. I would try to discipline SD17, and DW woulnd counter-mand me, because I was being "too hard" on SD17. I disengaged 5 months ago and have not looked back....
It just does not seem to work
It just does not seem to work when the step is stricter than the bio parents. The kids will resent it, the bio parents will resent it and you be the mean one. That has been all I have ever seen or heard. If the bio parent is lax, who are you to come and change that? Is what you will get and that will not change. In my case, for the most part bio dad was stricter than me, with a few exceptions here and there. He would support me in those cases, which was good of him, but it still backfired.
My point is, how one parents is part of how one is and if you don't like that part of someone, you may try and change it, but when you try to change people, unless they want to, you will fail and resent it. It's a battle you will not win and resentment will grow and grow. You may be a good candidate for disengaging.
I disagree.........this is my
I disagree.........this is my home and I want it ran goes for everybody under MY roof. I am not going to punish and discipline and make only my bios respect people while SD runs the show. I have stood by and watched my SD14 become a lying, cheating, stealing person and now down the path of having s** whenever.......How can I stand by and just let that happen because of a lazy parent? Does that even make sense?? Disengaing is one thing but to step aside and let her take my whole family down w/ her distructive behavior is another.
I can def see where you are
I can def see where you are coming from but in the same regard my BD and BS are very strong willed and when they question thier father and I about why they can't do it but princess can.........that's not right. And when I (I am the only one currently working) go to bed early and have to get up - SD doesn't have the right to come in after 1130 making all sorts of noise. I can't make her respect DH or even herself for that matter; but she will respect me and my wishes in my home. If she doesn't like it she can go back to her mother's. Oh ya - her BM doesn't want her??
And thank you for the reasurrance of out of line MIL - considering it's her "perfect grandaughter" - GAG