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guilty

Glassapple's picture

Submitted by Glassapple on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 10:31am

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Adult Stepchildren

HOW DO I deal with an adult step child 30yrs old telling me that his child hood was tainted and that I favored my bio kids. We have recently helped out our children(my bio) 20 and 22 get married. Should I feel guilty we didnt help my step son with him getting married?
My husbands father has helped my step SON ALOT WITH MONEY so I felt that he is adult and should help himself. I guess I really didnt want to help him with his wedding. Should I FEEL GUILTY

Glassapple's picture

Submitted by Glassapple on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 10:32am

My step son is always comparing himself to his younger brother and sister. Sometimes life cant be equal.. bio mom has been gone so he does look at me as mom

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 12:04pm

I personally would not feel guilty. He can complain to his dad and granddad if he's so upset about it.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 12:37pm

I would feel guilty if we helped with things like a wedding, education or purchasing of a home for my son and not his kids. Now if I did those things alone for my son, then I would not feel one ounce of guilt.

momof5_1969's picture

Submitted by momof5_1969 on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 2:19am

I don't think you should feel guilty. I was talking to my own mom today, and she was telling me that her own siblings (biological) both received money from her parents -- as adults -- when my mom never did from her parents. Some times it just isn't equal or fair. Parents aren't obligated to keep things equal when their children become adults. If they choose to help one because they need it, then that is the parents' prerogative (sp?) (I think). I know my own parents have tried to keep things equal between my sister and I, but if they hadn't, I wouldn't disown them. It's their money to do with as they please. Just like with my skids and my biological daughter. We gave two of our five kids a car because we could, while two of them bought their own car and one of them had a car given to them by a relative. It all worked out. Was it fair? No, not in their eyes. But we weren't able to do it for each of them. Just the way it is.