Why does he want me to be the bad cop?
This morning was a normal morning except like a lot of us on here it is the last couple of weeks of school. My skids have to wear special outfits and get games and fun stuff to bring to school. This morning everyone is running around trying to get everything together. I have four skids ss9 ss7 ss4 and ss2 about to be three. Since everyone is running around breakfast will not be an amazing meal its needs to be something quick like toast or cereal. ss4 doesnt want cereal or toast he wants dad to make him a sandwich. A sandwich in our house is deli meat mayo mustard slice of tomato I mean seriously my SO will do all of this in the morning while getting irritated that he is late. Put cereal in a bowl splash of milk and breakfast is done especially since we dont have time today. I tel ss 4 you need to pick toast or cereal. He looks at dad and he doesnt say anything. I said fine I will pick for you cereal. I go out to the kitchen five min later to make sure everyone has what they need and my SO is making him a sandwich! Again its not really about the food but the fact that I already told him no. When my SO was done I asked him why he did that? He says he did that because he wasnt going to eat and he wanted to make sure he ate. IF THE BRAT DOESNT EAT THEN HE DOESNT EAT!! Kids in Africa dont eat for days and your worried because king of all kings ss4 doesnt want to eat toast or cereal? Its like he wants me to be the bad guy so he can be the good guy. SS4 is his favorite he has never told me that but he treats him like that and thats why he is the worst behaved kid in the house. He expects everyone to do everything for him. I need advice on how to get my SO to see what he is doing is creating a monster. From what I have read on this site this will only get worse with time and age. I dont want to be in my thirties wishing I left him during my twenties. I get so frustrated with him I want to scream at him your creating a monster.
I hear you! I have been down
I hear you! I have been down this road. My SD is now 14 and I barely even talk to her. I STOPPED doing anything for her; I don't really even ask her how her day was. I spend time, effort, money, and love with and for my BK's. It may sound mean; but after 12 years of hell! I just stopped giving a sh**. both her and dad both now it. At first he thought I was mean; but after he knew I wasn't giving in; he stopped!
Stories like yours will kill a person; good luck!!
I dont want that to happen.
I dont want that to happen. He is only fours year old and I feel like I can turn this around but without my SO being on board there is no point. These children were not my choice and they were not made by me but I do everything I do with pride. I raise these kids which means I will do it the way I see is right which is consistancy and raising all four the same. I feel like I am the one doing the hardwork. I am sick of doing that.
I started out this way; but
I started out this way; but when you try so hard; and other people and family members make it a point that YOU aren't the childs parent - You stop. I don't know how it is in your situation though.... I loved my SD from the first moment I met her at 1.5; I raised her - Now she is a spoiled rotten brat who doesn't have to respect anyone. She treats everyone; even her father like a peice of DIRT! The looks she gives people (my SD12) would kill them; there is never anything nice coming out of her mouth; she steals and sneaks out....the list goes on - I quite; MY children do not act like this; they know better; but I am not exhausting all my time on her. I refuse! Good luck to you; get your DH on board with you - it makes things a lot easier....
I started out this way; but
I started out this way; but when you try so hard; and other people and family members make it a point that YOU aren't the childs parent - You stop
BINGO!!
If biodad won't support you and just wants to play guilty/disney dad, then you have to turn your head and look away from the impending trainwreck. It's very hard to do, I know. GG (biodad) has three completely feral children who have never been parented by either the BM or GG. The BM is a Child Protective Worker by trade and won't ALLOW GG to parent them. Venus De Milo (SD 12 1/2) was stealing out of my purse and GG's wallet at age 9. She's been failing school for the last eight years and the BM (the Behemoth) blames it on the divorce by playing the "pooor, pooooooooooor, pitiful child of divorce who needs no discipline" card (TM)
It just keeps on getting uglier!! I have two grown bios that I raised as a true single parent, without CS and without alienating the father (like the Behemoth and her family does) It can be done! But it's frustrating to stand by and watch a child be purposely RUINED by his/her own bioparents!!
may give you enough time to
may give you enough time to stop by starbucks and get your favorite latte....
thanks on the way!
I get so annoyed because being late is a pet peeve of mine. My SO works late so I am the one who goes to the school for open house and teachers have to tell me the boys are always late. I hate being the one everyone talks to. This stuff is the type of shit I cant stand. I need to let go.
Today?? Why doesnt starbucks
Today?? Why doesnt starbucks have margaritas to? I could get a margarita and a latte and be ready to tackle anything.
No I havent but I love their
No I havent but I love their blended strawberry lemonade with whip cream on top. I know it sounds so weird but its amazing and gives me patience which I need a lot of.
Thats the plan. I hate that I
Thats the plan. I hate that I have to tell him that. I would never to that to him. I would never say yes if he said no it creates confusion.
I'm so glad to be past this
I'm so glad to be past this phase. When Dh and I would disagree, if I spoke up the asshole skids would run to tattle to mommy that we argued then dh would get seventeen text messages bleep leep bleep telling him he is an ass and she, meaning me, is a control freak. Whatever
That is exactly what I am
That is exactly what I am afraid will happen especially since their mom is coming back a little bit. I dont want to all of a sudden wake up and have no control over what goes on in my house.