You are NOT dumb. Some people are just really good liars! When you love somebody, you trust them. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't think any words are going to help what you're feeling. You just have to go through it. I hope you can get to the angry stage. You're probably in shock right now. Anger will help you do what you have to do. I hope you can find a place to stay. Big hugs to you! Sometimes people just SUCK!

marissamae I'm so sorry. I really am. I wish I could give you a huge hug right now.

I'm at a loss for you. When something like this happens, there is no explanation. There is no answer to the why. It was all about him and not about you. He was thinking with his dick. Take care of yourself. In the end you are the only one who will.

Just looked up your background and see you are looking after your bf's 4 KIDS!!!! full time, and he repays you like this? What a douchebag! Really, I hope you find someone willing to give you shelter so you can get away from this man, then he will really discover how much he needed you and I bet you anything he will regret his actions. This does not mean you should forgive him. His behaviour goes beyond unacceptable.

Do not let him weasle out of a 'discussion' on this issue! You have the right to have your questions answered. Try to breath and focus on the issue, I cannot even imagine how you are feeling but it might help to take a deep breath and focus on what actually happened. Was it a one night stand thing or a relationship? I do not believe you are dumb, not for one second!

Ask questions, he has an obligation to respond to you and it's up to him to rebuild the trust if you choose not to leave him. You do have a choice, some relationships can be mended and trust is a biggie! If you are able to check the phone statements you'll be able to track calls to and from that number...even a reverse lookup will indicate the area and even the name and address. You are raising his kids, he really, really, should have had more understanding that you can be tired out, maybe not considering your own self as much as you would like to be doing and all of these things can accumulate and one, or both, of you might not be getting your needs met.

People really can be short sighted at times and if you smack him between the eyes you can adjust his vision for him. Ooops...did I actually type that?

He's probably going to react to being caught out, go into some sort of denial and blame game, give it a day or so for the dust to settle and demand answers. If you really do love each other then get counselling, a good counsellor will show him the error of his ways, in such a manner that he thinks it's his idea to co operate with you. If he EVER betrays you again the price will be much higher for him, make sure he is aware of that. This is an area where you REALLY have to be strong, take a really good look within and decide what your capacity is with regard to forgiveness, you'll never forget this but it could recede in your memory and forward progress can be made, regardless of what you decide to do...stay or leave. My heart goes out to you, I cannot even imagine the hurt, betrayal, even the guilt you might be feeling because somehow you wonder if you might be at fault?? IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! It's a vast array of emotions to get beyond before you can pick up the pieces and find peace within yourself.
I wish you well, I urge you to find your own inner peace and that will help you to deal with whatever happens next. Good luck.

What a dickhead.

First, no more intimacy with him. Get checked for an STD.
2nd, he did this because he has very few morals and sees you in a caretaker role rather than partner role... and he is a dickhead.

Personally I would make plans to move out as soon as you can. I feel sorry for his kids but I bet he will move TextGirl in as soon as you are gone.

Makes you wonder what drove his ex to drugs....

:jawdrop: I am so sorry he did this to you! Waht a jerk! Have you found anyone to stay with yet? I know you posted your blog this morning. Good luck and please remember that this is NOT YOUR fault!!!!

So sorry this has happened to you.

Can you go stay with your family until you come upwith a plan?

The text chick knew about your relationship. If she didn't, she would have talked to you.

First off...LEAVE. The trust will never be repaired.
Second, are you married or just dating? If you are married take him for everything he has and does not have!
Third, get checked for an STD ASAP.

And if you and the sister are close, can you go stay with her? Sounds like you two are close, you take care of her child everyday....reach out for help. Do not stay, or you are teaching these children you love that this behavior is okay and acceptable.

Call your family. I'm sure they will be willing to purchase you a ticket to get away from him.

Because you are a great person! HUGS BIG TIME!!!! Take a deep breath and exhale-you WILL find someone who will cherish and love you! I PROMISE!!! And please let us know that you are okay? I really hate to worry....

We've all been down heartbreak road in some form, and it's never easy to accept. You deserve better. We are not responsible for other people's bad choices or deception. Once we find out who people really are, then we have a choice as to whether we want to maintain a relationship.

Obviously his top priority was sexual satisfaction over loyalty to you. Any fool can cheat, and since he made that decision, he'll now have to deal with the consequences and repercussions of his actions.

Finally, realize that you have the power to overcome any adversity that you face.

As I read this, my heart totally breaks for you!!! Id say trust your own instincts on this. I know its hard to leave someone you really loved with all your heart, sadly..Ive been in your shoes before

I tried staying then with my now ex-husband..but I simply couldnt let it go. The pain was too deep for me, and even as hard as he tried (and he did) no matter what, at the end of the day..I kept asking myself "why" over and over.

On the flip-side...a friend of mine, her hubby cheated on her once (multiple times, same woman) and it forever changed their marriage for the good somehow. They are truly happily married, after 25 yrs of marriage..15 after his affair. So, sometimes it can work out too.

Trust your instincts! Only you know what you need to do for YOU. Take everyone else out of the equation.. this decision is ONLY yours!!!

HUGS

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's such a horrible situation. My husband did something similar last year. He never actually had a physical relationship, for him it was an online thing with multiple women. He would spend day and night on the computer and call them for hours while I was at work or school. I was working my butt of in my first few semesters on nursing school, working part time to help with the bills, caring for his kids while they were at our house (while he played his online game), taking care of my mom and household things. He left me the week of my hardest finals. It was so hard on me and I went through a period of deep depression. Somewhere in the middle of everything I found myself. A few months after he moved out, I realized that I might be sad right now, but my life was still going to be great and that somewhere down the road I would find my own happiness without him. I became a better, more secure person for it. On the flip side, he realized what he lost over some stupid sluts (I call them that because based on everything I seen, they knew he was married). He broke down after 6 months and felt awful for the whole situation and everything he put me through. It took time, but we moved back in together and things have really been a lot better since. We learned to communicate our needs.

Just know that whatever happens in the future, you WILL find happiness; whether it's on your own, with someone else, or with him again. Find comfort in the fact that you did everything you could for your relationship to succeed and that what he did, in no way, was your fault. He is the flawed one. Good luck with your move and your new life. It will be very hard for awhile, but you never know what life will end up throwing your way.

Like GemRN said, it isn't your fault. It is a decision he made and regardless of his reasoning, it can't realistically be put back on you. Who knows why people cheat, but just try to keep your head up, and remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you have that someone else would love to cherish and protect. {{{ Hugs }}}

I'm so sorry that you have to feel like this and have your trust taken away b/c of your BF selfishness and that other female that knew about you. How can someone do that to another person! I wish you the very best in begining your new life with all of these changes.