Double Standards!How is that fair?
Okay how is it fair that if I say ONE NEGATIVE thing about a kid that molested my OWN daughter, then I am the evil stepmother. BUT if a stepkid doesnt like his stepmom then that STILL MAKES YOU THE EVIL STEPMOTHER! wth! how is that right? haha what gives? Im sooo sick of ppl saying "oh well you claim to be a christian but you dont like your ss!" yes ppl I know this! thats why i reach out for help! its ppl that DONT CARE that dont want to fix their reactions to things. I WANT to eventually have a good relationship with this kid, apparently he isnt going anywhere so its kindda in everyones best intrest, but this double standard is stupid! Is it because Im the "adult" and he is the child? He has never said he doesnt like me, as i do treat him fair and am not mean to him ever, but just kids in general can say they dont like the stepparent and then thats the situation. so what give do we get? what support do we get? none. even this site right here ive come up against tons of ppl telling me i shouldnt feel the way i do. where can i go to get alittle justification in how i feel? thats all i wanna know.. maybe i can pay a shrink a butt ton of $ to make me feel better haha
I don't know. I think people,
I don't know. I think people, especially the biodads in these cases, need to realize that sometimes families don't always "blend." Sometimes his spouse and his kids from a previous marriage/relationship just don't personally love or like each other. Instead of trying to force both stepkids and stepparents to be close, people need to learn to help both parties learn to be civil to and tolerate each other.
I'm very sorry about what happened to your daughter. You say you want to have a civil relationship with SS. I give you a lot of credit for that. Have you ever considered going to family counseling? Have you and DH ever considered getting your DD and SS individual counseling? I mention SS too because I think he may have been sexually abused too, and I know that he's younger.
"Instead of trying to force
"Instead of trying to force both stepkids and stepparents to be close, people need to learn to help both parties learn to be civil to and tolerate each other. "- thats what I do with my DD and DH but he tries to force a relationship with SS and myself. It's annoying. I'm happy with civil! lol
Guilty daddies will subscribe
Guilty daddies will subscribe to the "one big happy family" model (insisting that YOU love THEIR previously enjoyed children as much or more than they do) yet at the same time, view any other children in the family (other than their own crotch droppings from an ex) under a microscope.
Said crotch droppings usually have no rules, boundaries or structure and end up failures in life.
LUV the cattle/abattoir
LUV the cattle/abattoir analogy
EXTREMELY true and spot on! Having a relationship with a man who has a previously enjoyed family (with today's court system and law) is like a cow headed for the slaughter.
WOW Step Aside, You said a
WOW Step Aside,
You said a mouthful! This is actually the BEST advice I've ever read. This is what I really needed to hear. Thanks so much....