Does anyone else get sick of their dh always refering to skid as son/daughter.....
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It's almost like my dh has to reassure himself and my ss10 that he is this kids father....he always says "son" for ex. while in a conversation with him he uses the word son in every sentence......We don't see this kid often and my ss10 is very confused as to who is really his dad but still it just makes me want to puke. I don't want to hear about what this kid did as a baby or that he is my dh's son every couple of minutes....it is like this EVERY time my ss is around and or on the phone! Anyone else get really annoyed with this???
I don't really have this
I don't really have this problem, but I do get annoyed when people refer to SS as MY son. Not strangers because I know they have no idea (like if we go to dinner and they refer to me as his mom, no big deal), but when DH's family suggests that SS is MY kid it really annoys me. Not long ago one of DH's aunts was asking me when we were going to have kids (we have only been married for a year and I am still too young for kids, plus sometimes being around SS makes me NEVER want to have kids!!! :sick: ). I told her it would still be a while, but we were definitely going to have kids at some point. Well she says to me, "What would you like to have?" and then without even letting me get a word out she says, "Oh, i know! A girl right? Since you guys already have a son." Ummmmm......NOOOOOOOOOO! DH has a son, as far as I am concerned, my only child is my dog. That REALLY pisses me off!
LOL! I can completely relate
LOL! I can completely relate to that one! Yeah even my dh while i was pregnant would say we already have a boy so we are hoping for a girl! AHHH!
UGH!! That would annoy me to
UGH!! That would annoy me to no end! I have already told DH that I would like to have 2 boys, and this does NOT include SS. If I have to share the kid w a complete stranger that I have NEVER had anything to do with then it doesn't count!
Oh and the whole time I was
Oh and the whole time I was pregnant....complete strangers would ask if it was OUR first baby and most of the time my husband would say second....then everyone would say then you know what to expect....even when we would go to the dr they would talk to me about MY first baby and then say to my dh well you know how this goes....used to upset me to no end!
OK, I can't help it but "ARE
OK, I can't help it but "ARE YOU Sh*TTING ME"!!!
Bitch about something real. Of course he is calling his children "My son" or "my daughter". Why would this bug anyone!
It's not about him saying
It's not about him saying that....it's all in the context in which he uses it constantly!!!!!!! And as far as I knew this is a forum in which people can say their opinions....no matter how petty you may think it is.....Also for ex. just in case you don't understand what I mean is.....Son what are you doing....son hey son....son are you there....what are you doing son, all in one conversation....just a little annoyance....I don't call my daughter "daughter" all the time!
I understand the context and
I understand the context and know a lot of people who refer to their kids like this all the time. Pretty normal stuff.
Don't sweat the little stuff, the big stuff is bad enough.
You really are COMPLETELY
You really are COMPLETELY right! I just think it's how many times he says it in one sentence.....that drives me crazy. It would probably be the same way if he said anything else a dozen times in a row ya know? I'm really not trying to be petty though it does sound like I am! And just look what I got started on here! LOL
LOL, yea happens sometimes.
LOL, yea happens sometimes. You just got to try and tune it out, like, ya know.
Thank you for that....I have
Thank you for that....I have also considered that there was something else annoying me other than this issue....i do love my ss but sometimes it is hard to deal with.
Maybe by his "name"
Maybe by his "name"
YES! That is exactly what I
YES! That is exactly what I mean! It just drives me crazy! Thank you for clarifying that!
Ridiculous- im glad to see
Ridiculous- im glad to see even other SMs are seeing why this is petty and selfish. Good thing you arent the custodial parents thats for sure!!
Hehe- sure! Eh - at 6 he has
Hehe- sure!
Eh - at 6 he has so many years ahead of him to be taught an molded!
Hey when Im right, Im right-
Hey when Im right, Im right- oh kind non-condescending one! >:)
I guess you don't see what I
I guess you don't see what I was refering too either......
I dont even know what youre
I dont even know what youre talking about anymore.
The blogs on here about nicknames just serve to remind me of the same grace and maturity me and my fellow classmates brought to our third grade class when we snickered about "Mrs Witchman" and "Mr. Zipperhead" - hey wait!- "third" rhymes with "turd"! Even funnier!! hee hee hee!
The wisdom and maturity is almost beyond my comprehension...
LOL!!
Trust me i know- ive met some
Trust me i know- ive met some of youre counterparts. Everything was going okay until i realized my seemingly positive conerasation was actually someone trying to be a sarcastic smart a$$- and well i know how to be a smart a$$ too.
I have tried to be respectful - tried a lot harder than most here. In fact ive had to bite my tongue to avoid a lot of baiting posts from people trying to pick fights with me. only thing is I accidentally walked into this one. It had sounded a little iffy but then I didnt think the person was making a snarky sarcastic joke about loving their SD just for the benefit of insulting me- wrong!
Just because something annoys
Just because something annoys me with DH DOES NOT mean that I am a bad parent???? REally???
You are NOT a bad
You are NOT a bad parent....we all get annoyed with things, and not even just as a parent but as human beings. Please don't stop venting it's what you need to do and it's what this site it is for. I can absolutely relate to this...I posted below too
THANK YOU! See other parents
THANK YOU! See other parents do get annoyed with the little "names" that our skids are being called! In fact I think I would like to hear the word buddy be used instead of "son did you that son" "Son good job Son" "Son you are so talented Son" Just can get annoying!
Sometimes these names just
Sometimes these names just stick without the person using them even being aware. I often refer to my sons as "my boy(s)" when speaking to them. It was only family members - aunts, cousins - who pointed it out to me and brought it to my attention that I used that term of endearment a lot. I'm sure it didn't particularly irritate them - they just took it upon themselves to point it out to me. Anyway, perhaps your DH is unaware of over-using "son" and I agree with other posters that it probably only irritates you because there is some bigger issue underneath.
I do completely get that.
I do completely get that. Although I would get annoyed if my dh called me "wife" when talking to me all the time! If my dh would call my ss anything other than the overuse of the word "son" I would be fine with it.....if fact for the most part I call my ss pumpkin, baby, sweetie.....and that wouldn't bother me at all if my dh would call him something other than the overused word son. I don't mind at all that he calls him that....it's just really annoying to hear that word at LEAST twice in one sentence lol! Oh and i totally get your point though...because my husband does have a ton of pet names he calls me which probably even drives everyone crazy with that! HAHA
Oh yes, I like the sound of
Oh yes, I like the sound of it: "my husband". If I ever speak to skids again I may try this one...
SA ~ that is so funny, i
SA ~ that is so funny, i ALWAYS refer to dh by his name to skids ~ i NEVER use "your dad" ~ i even sign cards (very generic cards of course) with: starfish & dh.... if i am talking to someone else and skids are in ears length i do refer to him as "MY husband"
LOL! I think every situation
LOL! I think every situation is totally different when it comes down to it.....but yeah I can see that as a good point too!HAHA
I completely agree with this.
I completely agree with this. Acknowledging it's their dad does make it seem like wow ya'll are so close when they are the ones who have allowed the relationship to break/change. My dad calls my mom "the bride" or "my bride." I love that. I think that's cute
Hmmmm. DH always calls his
Hmmmm. DH always calls his kids "buddy". My brother was little buddy to my dad. Now what does annoy me is BM. It's always "come here sweetie. Mommy lives you sweetie. Oh sweetie let mommy do that". What annoys me is the tone and she only does it when I'm there. DH says she's a different person when I'm not there.
I don't think saying "your daddy" demeans your role as wife. That's how kids identify with people. By their role. I don't get that problem.
"being a step is to
"being a step is to constantly feel like an outsider"
yup- not just for SParents, but for SKids too!
skids are outsiders in MY
skids are outsiders in MY home!
That I don't agree with. My
That I don't agree with. My dh's home is a second home for our kids. They are family, not guests. Maybe yours don't treat you with respect. I don't know. Our skids learn how to treat OUR home with respect.
mine don't and again it is MY
mine don't and again it is MY house and i treat them like guests, except for them i take the good stuff out of the bathroom and put the easily wipe down tablecloth on the table and cover the seat cushions when they show up for the court ordered god awful visitation!
yeppers, UNWELCOMED guests
yeppers, UNWELCOMED guests
Hey, Starfish- At least you
Hey, Starfish- At least you are honest.
Don't forget the Lysol. (if it even still works on evolved germs and viruses anymore.)
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your advice....I can see that I do have a few issues with that. Long story short...my husband was only around my ss10 for 2 years of his life before he was taken away until this child was almost 8 in which time my dh and I were already together....so the child he only knows his dad with me attached to him....in fact he is still kind of confused thinking that we adopted him since his ex stepdad is the one he really calls "dad". So there really isn't much of a relationship but a forced one....so it's hard to go from time to time seeing him maybe once/twice in a two/three month period then all of sudden him being part of the family. It isn't entirely our fault that we don't see him very much...it is just easier on ss since he lives so far away and has other activities at home. So i know there are a lot of issues to air out.
"This is different from just
"This is different from just disliking a pet name- there are connotations and expectations around the role." EXACTLY. Thank you, this is what I was trying to say just could not find the words.
I can so relate ~~ MY son,
:sick: :sick: :sick:
I can so relate ~~ MY son, MY daughter ~ annoys the total fuck out of me!
snarks ~ dh calls skids "buddy" when he talks to them ~ UGH!! but i guess it makes perfect sense, he's more a buddy than a PARENT figure ~ and dh wonders why they don't do as their told, why should they?? the only person who disciplines them is BM and boy does he HATE when i mention that!
I don't have the problem of
I don't have the problem of him calling her daughter but what really disturbs me is he will call her "his baby girl"... :sick:
Eeeeeeeew!! Unacceptable. I
Eeeeeeeew!! Unacceptable. I would never be ok with that!!
jojo ~ i would go f'n crazy
jojo ~ i would go f'n crazy if dh ever used "baby girl" to describe skid.... :sick: :sick: it would literally create a fight every time.
My thoughts as well Crayon -
My thoughts as well Crayon - when SS lived with us FT - his mom and dad would both call him buddy and I was the one left doing all the discipline and correcting him - I was not a friend but a parent - it drove me fucking nuts every time he would answer the phone and I could hear BM' - Hey Buddy - it Mommy - how is my buddy - :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
I would tell DH - he is not your fucking buddy or hers and I am sick and tired of being the one that does all the disciplining while his parent sit back and be "his friend" - thank God he moved in with BM after only 3 years - I don't think I could have made it and the worst part was I did not have ST back then and was all alone - it was a dark period in my life!!!
Once you are free of him I
Once you are free of him I know you will live happily ever after - I just wish that could start tomorrow for you!!!
I HATE HATE HATE this! I
I HATE HATE HATE this! I wish I would have posted this the other day when my SO did it again. He will say, "I'm going out to dinner with my daughter XXX." I heard him do this a couple of times and I said, "Is there any reason why you insist on confirming that XXX is your daughter whenever you bring her up to me?" I KNOW who she is and should obviously know what her damn name is by now! I don't need to be reminded that you have those useless bitches in your life every 45 seconds thanks! After I said that he was like, "Yeah I guess who else would I be talking about.." At least he didn't know he was doing it! This to me is right up there with, "BM is the mother of my children." Gag me. I actually did tell him NEVER to say those words to me again. Hello, your kids are 20 and 23 they are not children call them by their names!!!!!
My daughter and son-in-law
My daughter and son-in-law call their son "son." I admit it does sound rather hickish to me.
I know I get really sick of
I know I get really sick of hearing my daughter this and my daughter that and because she's my daughter...I don't do that with bioson...he is just good ol' Goober or his real name...Everyone knows he's my son no need to constantly say that....lol. Bioson's father used to call him my boy all the time...that used to get on my nerves too...
So right there with you
So right there with you girl...my bf does the same thing... he dogs my bioson for the same damn thing his crazy daughter did that he never said anything about. WTF!
How about "thats my boy"
How about "thats my boy" HAHA! That drives me nuts!!!! All proud even when ss does something really stupid...like make weird noises with his mouth....then it's Son, good job son....that's my boy
omg...that is too funny
omg...that is too funny girl...you made me laugh
My ex tells bioson that too...or that you are just a chip off the old block...uh drives me nuts...
YES!!! AND NOTHING IRRITATES
YES!!! AND NOTHING IRRITATES ME MORE!!!!
I agree with the sickeningly
I agree with the sickeningly sweet childish names being odd..
I've heard my DH call his 20 year old grown adult dipshit daughter - sweetheart, baby doll, angel, sissy, sweetpea...and the list goes on an on.
To me? She's shithead, dumbass, brat, manipulator, shit-stirrer, loser..just to name a few off the top of my head.
And I had better never hear him refer to her as "OUR" daughter..I do NOT see that as anything I'm ever going to agree to. She is an embarrassment to many in my DH's family so I do not acknowledge a thief and liar as my daughter. She's already told me she hated me..so I'm sure there's no love lost on her side either. She makes me want to retch every time I hear her childish voice. Total loser.
I use to refer to ss23 as my
I use to refer to ss23 as my son....did it for 13 years till the little douchebag moved in with us and decided that the only way to live rent and rule free for the rest of his life was to lie to dad and try to get rid of me...now I refer to him as my dh's ex with facial hair
I think this has been one of
Yeah