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What a cluster!

over step's picture

Needless to say "the talk" with Puke was a cluster f%€k. I gave up.

ETA: So it was pretty much was Puke blaming me for everything. I knew this already but DH saw it first hand. Puke cried every time I proved her theories wrong. She even cried to BM to which BM sent DH a text telling him that if I make her daughter cry again she would come get her. DH didn't respond and he wouldn't let me.

DH evidently told Puke that she needs to decides if she wants any kind of relationship with me and then make the first steps. That's going to be for not as I don't want anything from Puke. Not that she'd do anything different anyway.

If it wasn't for the fact I can't leave Ms Kitty, I would be posting this from somewhere else and told DH so.I can't stand being in a house with someone who would blatantly make up shit about me and with another who would let her. Sure he defended me but coddled her while doing it.

It's clear I'm on my own so finances will be split and DH can get affection from Puke. All I care about right now is Ms Kitty.

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over step's picture

I want nothing from Puke and she will get nothing from me. DH will never be allowed to speak to me about her again. He lost that right.

I will be working on splitting the bills and then once Puke is gone I will hand it to DH. This is the new world order according to Over. Take it or leave it.

Ms Kitty needed my full attention this weekend so didn't make it but I will be for sure.

Willow2010's picture

over-step...do you want to save your marriage? My advice will depend on the answer to that question.

over step's picture

I'm not ready to give up on it yet. My mindset is that this is who I am, I don't need to explanation my actions and they can like it or lump it.

Tuff Noogies's picture

oh darlin'. Sad i know u're not really surprised at the outcome. but at least the line in the sand has been drawn. now you can move forward knowing that all the cards are on the table, and "it is what it is".

Tuff Noogies's picture

ooooo i have an idea for you. i dont know if this is in your budget to do professionally or not, but you need a SPA DAY. a "new you"! if you cant go out for it, do it at home - kick dh out until bedtime, take a long bubble bath with a glass or two of good wine and candles and soft music, lay a cushion on a heating pad for miss kitty, paint your fingers and toes, give yourself a facial, order yummy delivery, deep condition your hair and skin, and curl up w/ kitty and a good movie or book. a day (or even a few hrs) to set the focus back on yourself and your wellbeing. both symbolically AND literally.

u've tried all you've got in you to try, for both dh and puke. now try for YOU. whatever happens with them is on them. meh.

WalkOnBy's picture

"I can't stand being in a house with someone who would blatantly make up shit about me and with another who would let her"

welcome to my world. I have finally convinced my husband that ASS IS a person who makes up shit about me (and him, too) and that I don't have to live with that person and that his not addressing the situation with ASS directly IS the same freaking thing as allowing him to do it.

I opened up my own accounts over the weekend and none of my money will go to the joint accounts anymore. I will keep my money separate until DH decides what he's doing about paying for ASS and college.

I actually have an update about that, but I really have to put it all on paper and edit the crap out of it before I do.

hang in there, disengage from Puke and focus on Ms. Kitty and your marriage. In that order.

over step's picture

My husband wants to blame it all on her being 16 and her mom filling her head with crap. Then says that we made her feel like her feels were wrong. She can feel whatever she wants. She cannot blatantly accuse me of things I have never done. There's a difference.

How about worrying about my feelings for once instead of dismissing them with excuses or denial? That's right my feelings don't count.

Got the bills all split out and I'm ready to give it to DH. So very ready.

WalkOnBy's picture

that's right - our feelings don't count but we better move heaven and earth to make sure that the pretty pretty princesses and princes' feelings don't get hurt.

Pfffffffffft.

notasm3's picture

How did you keep from telling Puke that you don't give a flying F whether she is dead or alive? And that having a relationship with her is low on your priority list.

over step's picture

I pretty much told her I don't have to care about her or have any kind of relationship with her since I'm not her parent.