Poor DH
DH tells me last night that he's starting to stress with Puke's monthly visit approaching. Now from what I understand he stresses because he knows Puke will do something to upset me.
I ignored him and said nothing. This is all his doing and I'm not going to justify that comment with a response. DH can live in his 9wn stress. I have more important things to worry about.
He also said he is worried about me with what I'm going through with Ms Kitty but I doubt he'll worry about me that much when Puke is here. Or at least do anything to make things easier for me.
I am going to let DH know that Ms Kitty is off limits to Puke. Kitty can't handle a lot of touching as she doesn't like it much these days.
I will make my vamity, have some drinks and make Puke uncomfortable with some good old fashioned PDA with DH for sh!ts & giggles.
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I haven't heard any more
I haven't heard any more about re-homing the cat so I'm assuming that's been taken care of and DH had nothing to do with it.
I think my DH expected me to feel about Puke how he feels about her. Now he's bothered that I don't. I always hear it said that there is no way a stepparent can feel the same for a skid as their bio parents do. If that's true, then why are we expected to?
He tells me all the time that
He tells me all the time that he wishes everyone could get along. And I respond that I've tried and am done trying. Get over it.
That would require him to
That would require him to keep his balls. He happily hands them over to her as soon as he picks her up.
Money spent will be handle by informing them both I am going straight to bank and putting MY money in my own account so DH can freely spend all his money on her once bills are paid. Problem solved.
Wine makes me sleepy. I'll just mix up something that makes me happy annoying. I think wine stained would look pretty cool though. Lol
He just doesn't want to hear
He just doesn't want to hear about when she does something that upsets me. He knows she will. He just wants me to not say anything because it stresses him out. That's how I understand it from what he's told me. In no way does he want to do anything about it.
Ok…I still don’t understand
Ok…I still don’t understand why you and DH still fight over a kid that is only there 2 days once every month or two. I would not even talk about her when she is not there.
I really think you need to try something. Just for a few months. Do not say one bad thing about puke. Don’t say one bad thing about DHs parenting. Don’t talk about Puke if she is not there. If DH tells you something about Puke, just say that’s nice and move on. NO MATTER WHAT HE IS SAYING.
Let DH spend time with Puke and you disengage nicely from her 2 days a month. If she makes a mess of DHs bathroom don’t say anything until she leaves and then tell DH…”DH hun..your bathroom is a mess can you go get it cleaned up today please”
And yes…you are going to have people all up in arms here about “caving”. It is not caving…it is trying to save your marriage. Your marriage is hanging by a string right now all because of a girl you see 2 days out of every 30 to 60 days. She should not have that much impact on your marriage. And yes…I do feel you are playing your part in this dysfunction a little bit. No one is ever 100 percent innocent. Lol. IMHO…you do kind of nit pick. Just a bit. But enough to put DH on the defensive all the time. I mean the guy is already stressing because he KNOWS you will get mad about any little ole thing where SD is concerned.
I know…I will be looked at like the devil because I am not trying to talk you into making her 2 days miserable for her, you and DH.
Just food for thought and just trying to help. Can’t really hurt. Good luck for Kitty.
I haven't said anything, good
I haven't said anything, good or bad, to DH since the last blow up a month ago about Puke and when he talks about her I just say yeah or hmmm. Nothing. I won't say anything to him unail she stops coming. I made a promise to him that I will keep even if he can't keep his promises.
I know I'm not innocent but I have been the only one expected to change. He won't change and he won't make her change. Yes, I have nit picked but have since stop.
Now just to be clear, not once has DH been concerned with my stress to do something about it. I on the other hand have backed down and overlooked plenty to make his life easier.
So if I seem bitter, I think I have right to. And if I happen to make them uncomfortable, then so be it. They never worry about my level of comfort so why should I.
So what happens that makes
So what happens that makes you so upset?
Well the last thing I brought
Well the last thing I brought up to DH was her being loud during the day while I'm working. She is across the hall in her room talking loud on the phone and playing music loud. Not to mention walking around the house on speakerphone and playing music. My work includes being on the phone with customers and the need to focus on things that can take a lot of concentration.
When I started working from home she was only here on the weekends so there was no issue. Now she's here for at least 2 days of the week (lately it's been the whole week) and this new visit schedule has only been going on for a couple of months. Now if I don't do my work right or if a customer complains of the loudness then I have to answer for that. Not him. If this went away, he would have peace.
He says he's talked to her
He says he's talked to her about but I don't think his talks have amounted too much more than a reminder if that. For this I blame him. He has failed as a parent and a husband.
i like your plan! everyone
i like your plan! everyone wins
warm furbaby hugs to ms kitty.