Hi to everyone!

I have not posted in ages.

I am getting out of the 4 year relationship with BF and his daughter and his nutcase ex. Finally!

So difficult, but I had to put an end to this sheer madness.
Story goes like this:

For four years, BF has been in custody battle. We had the kid 65% of the time, taking care of her the right way, feeding her good meals, meeting her needs. He mother is emotionally and physically negligent workaholic, dumping the child on anything and everything she can on the weekend. To make up for it, she takes her to disneyland. She also badmouths us to the child on regular basis; refers to BF as "looser" and to me a "skank". The child has actually asked me what skank meant because her mommy called me that.

Anyways. I have been pushing BF along; trying to get him to stand up for his right for four years now. When we met he had his ball-sacks crushed by his ex; he was totally her bitch. She would blackmail him with witholding custody if we did not allow her to inspect our house etc...Bf would actually bring over dirty laundry from his ex's to do at our house. He said she did not like to do laundry because she had to climb 2 flights of stairs to get to the laundry area. I was absolutely livid!!! Also she was always trying to bum rides from BF when he was picking up the kid.

I had SOOOOO many crazy fights with BF over the past 4 years just about him letting his ex squeeze him to death. He did get a little better about everyday stuff, (he recently made a set time she had to show up for pick ups, instead of whenever she liked to) but as far as the big picture goes, he is her slave still.

There has been years of mediations; back and forth. She is making crazy demands, trying to get back in court, blah, blah. She has actually been in contempt with the courts. Her latest demands are asking for 1/2 of her food budget (her food budget for her and an 8year old is $600 :jawdrop: ) She also wants BF to pay for $50/month haircuts for the kid and also $6000 for future braces. She also wants BF to contribute $100/month for college funds; she would have full control of the account. And other ridiculous stuff. BF or should I say exBF already pays for child support and 1/2 school aftercare, which alone is at least $400/month.

So here comes the kicker. I am getting REALLY tired of all this shit for years now. We are struggling to get by, no vacation, 300 food budget for the three of us, barely making rent. But we are still trying to provide a nice, comforting caring home for the kid. We pay for her to have her own room.

Anyways, at this point I just cannot see the end of this. Back and forth horseshit mediations, threats. The ex trying to bar me from being able to be around the kid etc. And on top of it, the our relationship is more and more strained. Instead of getting any straight answers about anything, things get more and more vague. I am not getting any answers on the terms of custody or what the rules are. When I try to talk to BF about future; he is very unresponsive. He agrees about goals, but when I ask him how he would like to see things be; he avoids it.

So, I ask BF for papers on custody arrangement and divorce decree.
It takes him 5 months to get around to it, me having to ask repeatedly. I really wanted to see something in writing before signing another year of lease. I wanted to see what is in the agreement EXACTLY, so that I can see how this will affect my future.

We end up signing a lease because BF is dragging his feet. 2 weeks after signing the lease exBF shows up with paperwork. Paperwork looks suspicious. The signatures are weird. I even said that to him. So, the next day I call the county office and give them the docket number, but there is NOTHING on file. So I am thinking there must be a mistake right? So I go online and look there too. And then I notice the judges name is misspelled. I am starting to feel dizzy and sweaty and feeling like I am loosing my mind.

Something is not adding up.
I confront exBF, even though it sounds crazy and paranoid. He denies everything and calls me crazy. I keep asking him to get me a copy that is notorized. He refuses. I keep asking why? Then I ask him if we could go to the county records together and get this thing "cleared up". He refuses.

Few days go by. I feel completely bewildered and psychotic. I really doubted myself, but in the same time I had suspicions. So I kept pushing in the issue.

Finally exBF broke down and admitted that he faked the documents.
He did get to a certain point with the mediations and modifications, but then he dropped the ball because he could not continue financially or mentally.
He said he just wanted me to be at peace and stay with him.

I can understand, but this is super F****ed up. I told him 2 days later, our relationship could not make it and we need to go on separate ways.
I will be moving out in 2 weeks, got a new place lined up, signing a lease on Thursday.

It's absolutely heartbreaking. He chose the ex over me. I know he hates her guts and has not much contact with her, but he is still letting her win by default. I told him that I hope someday he will cut the cord from his bipolar/suicidal ex and can move on with his life.

Isn't it sad?