Stealing?
BM and her BF broke up in January. He left her and moved back to his home state, 10 hours away.
After this happened (January). ExBF contacted DH letting him know everything that happened. They were always civil with each other throughout the relationship so it wasn't a huge surprise. He also called to check on SD. He had been in her life 5+ years.
Fast forward a few months later. DH hadn't heard from him since. ExBF called saying he had to get a new number because of BM. ExBF went into details of all these terrible things that happened since.
ExBF told DH that she was stealing from the hospital (she is a nurse). He has text messages from her calling him an "addict." DH and I are thinking it could have been a mask that she was "stealing," however exBF made it seem like drugs.
DH doesn't want to get involved and thinks exBF may be stirring the pot.
IMO I thought they were pretty serious allegations. But probably not ours to make.
Thoughts on what you would do in that situation??
Screen capture and prints the
Screen capture and prints the texts. Ask XBF to only contact if he has some concern about SD's safety (e.g. BM sends him messages or photos where she is physically harming SD). Tell him that if he has concerns about BM harming herself that he should contact law enforcement to check on her.
Then ignore him, but save any texts he sends. He said/she said won't get you anywhere, but if BM is being stupid enough to send him confessions/proof of her doing illegal things, then you will want to keep that documentation. It may also be worthwhile to run the situation past an attorney to see what they say.
Basically, don't burn the bridge if you have a GOOD reason to believe BM is offering up proof that she is unfit and your DH needs to intervene on SD's behalf, but don't acknowledge or encourage information that has nothing to do with SD and is just stirring the pot.
You are correct: NOT your
You are correct: NOT your allegations to make. That's for exBF to do.
If they're going to continue to be friends/friendly, they need to do it withOUT discussing BM and her actions.
I'd cut bait and end the relationship. It's...weird.
Yeah, I'd stay far out of
Yeah, I'd stay far out of that one. You can't make allegations based on third-hand information. DH needs to tell ExBF to leave him out of it unless he has some concerns about the kids.
A close friend and former
A close friend and former coworker of mine had a similar situation with his XW's BF. The BF called him and spouted on all kinds of toxic, illegal and otherwise child PASing crap that my friend's XW had done while dating her XBF. My friend asked the XBF to give a deposition to his attorney which the guy did.
The fun part.... the XW and BF reconciled and eventually married. The BF/XBF/2nd DH would periodically call my friend and beg him to have his attorney destroy the deposition he gave to my friend's lawyer.
Update** this was a couple of
Update** this was a couple of months ago, however it has resurfaced...
Randomly one day when SD10 went back to BM, she flipped out when she found out we had taken her to the beach. It wasn't out of state & DH had permission for extra time prior. Of course, BM went to the extreme and threatened to go back to court so she could move to TN. And said "I'm taking _____ with me for good this time!"
DH probably should have just ignored, but he was getting pretty pissed. He alluded after she said that and said "That's okay, I know what's happening at work."
All hell broke loose. She basically ratted herself out and said her exboyfriend was on heroin, he's a drug addict, she claimed she "not stealing" (but he NEVER mentioned any of that!), and she's not taking pills. DH ONLY said he knew what was happening at work... and then she offered all of that info. She has gone totally radio silent for WEEKS now. That NEVER happens.
I'm guessing she is scared sh!tless and knows now she needs to keep her mouth shut. Also, how she needs to quit "threatening" court when she knows he has the dirt on her.
What do y'all think is going on in wacko's head?