Cancelled DSs dental appointment to care for SKs
Me again.
It's been a strange few days recently with the rose coloured glasses coming off. Not just about BM and SKs but also about DH.
My DS had a day off school today (teacher strike). I made an appointment for him at the dentist. He has been needing to go for a checkup for a while and I finally got around to it.
I told DH (who is at work). He made a big fuss about having to come home to look after SSs and said he could be here "if his life depended on it".
So I cancelled. It's not sitting well for me. I am not the type to say - too bad - your kids, your problem.
It has become expected that I am home for his kids when they get home. I guess that's natural and normal.
But I want to be free to look after my children in my time - even if sometimes that is at short notice.
Or am I being unreasonable. Should I give him more notice? Am I being self -centered? Am I not taking my new family into account enough? Problem with that is - their Mum doesn't want me anywhere near his kids.
I seem to have developed something inside me that goes something like - if their Mum hates me and doesn't want to acknowledge my existence, why the hell do I bother? The kids are influenced by it.
As a result, I get really grumpy when my own kids miss out.
It happened once before. I had to drop my daughter off at the doc and rush home to be home in time for his precious sons. BD had to go back to doc later because I wasn't there to make sure doc understood the situation.
I am trying to be a team here but something isn't right. We all need DH to work and I want to support him in his job.
What do you guys think?
Hell would freeze before I'd
Hell would freeze before I'd have put their needs before my kids. just remember that bm doesn't care at all about you or your kids and those kids have 2 parents and you are neither! I know myself i would have said your prob figure it out, i'm the only one my kids have to reply on and i'm not letting them down!
I like that - Im the only one
I like that - Im the only one my kids have to rely on and I am not letting them down.
Thing is - I made an appointment for next week after school. It's not all that hard to try to fit in. His job is important for us all.
I really do see two sides to this.....
PS. I am worried about
PS. I am worried about getting into a "them and us" situation.
Before he met me, he used to work from home after school the weeks he had the kids. Seems a bit silly for him to do that when I am here already but it is beginning to cramp my ability to take care of my own....his are younger and need supervision.
I want to be his wife but tbh, I don't think I want to have the responsibility a Mother would have of his children. Guess I should have thought of that beforehand huh? Or has anyone been through this and made it work?
Also rememeber if you don't
Also rememeber if you don't do for your kids who will? THe bm? your dh? WHO?
DH does do quite a bit of
DH does do quite a bit of dropping off and picking up for my DS. I am not married to BM so I guess I don't take her into account at all when they are with us. Can't imagine DH doing something like making an appointment for my son. Nope - he never would.
I am really quite confused about this one.
Ol milk if you say your dh
Ol milk if you say your dh would never make an appt for your son or the like why would you do it for his son? I can understand helping your partner but if one does everything the other does nothing? Sorry but I just can;t see myself doing for my partner if he didn;t do the same for me.
I know what you are saying
I know what you are saying but I don't really want him making appointments for my son. I don't want to make appointments for SKs either.
In future, I will try to give more notice but if I can't I will insist he comes home no matter what.
Milk it's not about making
Milk it's not about making appts. it's about respect.
I don;t know for sure if she
I don;t know for sure if she did it last min. or not. sorry if she did and I misunderstood that point. but I still stand by what I said if she gave good notice and he knew about it. I agree with what you said too. she should make it very clear she is not their door mat!