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wth is up with this

epgr's picture

So the skids went with their mother, their dad got called to work and wasnt going to be home until 7, so he texted her and asked her if she could bring them home at 7, she said that her boyfriends kids had to be home at 7 and asked if she could drop them off at 6, so my husband asked her if 6:30- 6:45 would be ok she said no problem.. (all done in texts so there is proof that she said it).. at 5 I went out to warm up the car.. me and my bio kids were gonna go down to my preg. daughters very tiny apt and help her pack her bags and get the last things done in the babys room.. when at 5:15 in walks the skids.. now I know some are gonna say take them with you.. well thats 4 kids, andI wanted to spend some time with my kids, my daughters apt is tiny and she is on edge anyways I am not gonna add 2 more kids ...
So the skids come in and I said I thought she was bringing you at 7, sd11 says she said it would be fine if she brought us early, I said oh did your moms boyfriends daughter have to be home early, I got a look, I said "your mom said that they had to take xx home at 7".. then I hear this " thats not even true, xx went home this afternoon got a ride with xxx"
I am beyond pissed, I texted her adn said I am not your babysitter when you are gonna drop your kids off when their dad is working at least call and ask me if its ok.. of course I have heard nothing yet..
I am crying as I write this, I am used beyond belief by her.. I have my own kids.. my daughter is due in less than 2 wks, she is scared and I can not be there when we had plans because douchbag cant be a mother.. she needs to grow up and be a mother and stop dumping all the responsibility off on me! I can blame my husband, he was told they would be dropped off at 6:30ish..
ok my vent is over

epgr's picture

she texted back and said that she was at her parents house and they wanted her to go because of the weather.. there is no "weather" nothing forecasted until wed. even then that only a dusting of snow...

GoldenTiger's picture

You did not agree to babysit. You weren't even involved in the arrangements. You do not have a legal obligation to these children. Had she dropped her kids off with anyone else, wouldn't it basically boil down to a case of abandonment?

I'm sorry this was dumped on you. It's really not fair to take advantage of your motherly instinct to provide for neglected children when they have a mother & father to take care of them. I hope you called DH immediately & he ran home to take care of the situation. Sad It is his job to fix the mess the x created due to the kids.

SO sorry hun. Sucks to get stuck in the middle & ungratefully & unseen be expected to pick up everyone else's dropped balls.

Focus on your BD & ignore the rest. Call in the people that are responsible for interrupting that imperative & make them take care of their own problems.

unbelieveable's picture

Grr...this makes me cringe. we've dealt with this a million times...like sometimes BM will wait until FH is at work...and she will drive by the house...if my car is there...she used to drop them off? Didn't ask if it was okay...wouldn't call FH - just bring them in - say - you need to watch them...that was it...that no longer happens!

Angel72's picture

I would drive them to your husbands work and drop them there if you dont want them to stay home alone. Then leave for your daughters.
Please dont let this woman use you. Tell your husband if he doesn't involve you for the next drop off and you made plans, you will call him to come home early from work or you can do what i use to do, i would leave several hours much earlier to make sure i wasnt' home andi wouldn't tell my bf. This way the neighbours got stiffed and told him off.

epgr's picture

My husband thought it was taken care of.. I would have taken them to him, but he was driving a truck over an hour away! I texted him, he called, I told him how mad I was...and had a serious talk when he got home..
I texted her a few of my thoughts.. told her that it WOULDNT happen again, told her to never throw it in my face again that I am not thier mother cuz I am more of one to them then she ever will be..
but the saga continues.. as it always does... the hubs asked her if she wanted to get them next weekend too since she only had them 1 day this time.. she said sure, then turns around and tells the kids that "your dad wants me to get you next weekend too", which they took as dad dont want us there.. so they were not speaking to anyone, and sitting in their rooms,until it was explained to them. Its a shame that they have to be involved in the adult politics of it.. but we have to defend ourselves!
I told my husband that we are no better off then we were a yr and 10,000 dollars ago..she had everyother weekend (depending on when she wanted to show up).. we fought to change it to she gets visits with them at times and places they agree.. I told him this morning that he needs to do something cuz I will not be here next time and if I have to drag my kids out of the house in the middle of winter to make a point I will be pissed!
I have also decided that I am done keeping my mouth shut to her just to keep the peace.. I am not her bitch, they had the kids together and the responsibility should be theirs.. not mine.. I am taking care of the 4 kids I gave birth to, they cant even manage to do it with 2...
hmm and I thought I was done being angry.. guess not!

epgr's picture

she lives about 45 mins away.
I would have went out and said something to her but she dropped them off and ran.. I couldnt even see her tail lights by the time the kids got in the door!