xanex, xanex. where is the xanex?
I would reallllly like to tell BM that encouraging her flippen kids to be disrespectful, ungreatful little brats that hate me is really only hurting them... but she wouldnt care.
so skids come back from 3 day weekend at skanks house.. they refuse to speak to me, but expect me to cater to them.. they get pissy and inform me that their mother puts their clothes away for them, dont know why I cant (umm cuz I am not your effing maid) and well if she was the perfect mother wouldnt she have custody of them??
SD11 rolled her eyes when I said hi, stomped off in her room throwing her things on the floor on her way, I asked her what was wrong, she just looked at me and then rolled her eyes and walked away.
SS almost 13 refuses, and I mean flat out REFUSES to shower, brush his teeth or get his clothes washed.. his hair is long, looks like hell but since I am the one who cuts hair (yes I did go to beauty school lol) he wants nothing to do with a hair cut, it is greasy and he smells like shit.. literally, he does not wipe his butt either at all or just not good enough.. he puts his dirty clothes back in his dresser, he will dig them out of the dirty clothes basket to wear them, his teeth are gross, you can see the nastiness on them.. his breath smells like dog poop, and why.. because it is important to me.. he does not care what it does to him.. but if I say it is a rule he will do the exact opposite just to piss me off, then he will laugh at me when I am losing my mind.
BM thinks its all a game, its a joke to her, but it is only hurting SS in the long run. I told SS last night that if he can not even speak to me then he can not expect me to make him food, if he can stand there over and over and over and scream how much he hates me, tell me to shut up, etc (in front of my bio 7 and 8 yr old, who would get an ass beating if they talked to me like that) then he can go to bed until his dad gets home from work.. I told him I am not his mother and he is lucky I am not.. so because I am not his mother I dont have to put up with it, and he can stay in his bed until his dad gets home. Its not much better with his dad, BM has made effing sure that SS hates us both, we are the enemy.
I dont think it is to much to ask to have a laundry basket in your room and when its full stick it in the laundry room.. I do the laundry, and fold it and put it back in the basket.. I expect it from a 7 yr old, but cant expect it from him?? thats crap.
I have freaken had it.. I can not wait till BM comes to get them again!
I guess at least this time they didnt come in crying and trashing their mom..
There has got to be a happy medium, if she was a responsible BM she would help out.. but as it is now they are both grounded because of bullshit attitude!
There should be a warning at
There should be a warning at the top of this blog, "Do not read if you are currently eating and drinking"
So gross. I had to put my kashi bar down and swallow REALLY hard.
Honestly my dear, you must be a saint bc I couldn't handle that kind of nasty stuff. I'd be really skinny bc I'd vomit everytime I had to deal with the skid.
As far as the girl, you're also a better woman than me bc I wouldn't even say hello to her after getting that response. At that point, she'd have to just get ignored for a bit.
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
short of going in there and
short of going in there and wiping his ass for him, and washing his nasty greasy stinky hair, I have to put up with it.. even if he does shower he wont wash his hair, and claim that he did.. when it is very obvious he didnt.. water beads on the greasyness.. his hair was buzz cut for the begining of the school yr.. it has grown out. looks almost like a helmet.
Sorry about your kashi bar.. I have a weak stomach too.. I have told DH to let scummy boy know that I can not sit and smell him any more.. and that something has to be done.
Just dont know what to do.. he is almost 13 for the love of God.
I know how cruel kids can be.. I was one of them.. I cant imagine he is having a good time at school..
I have never had any.. I
I have never had any.. I might have to hunt some down
You're spelling it wrong -
You're spelling it wrong - Xanax.
I tell all my kids, step and
I tell all my kids, step and birth that if they will not listen to me and do as I ask, do not ask me for anything. Then when thy do ask, I say nope. You didnt do what i asked, so I will not do what you ask. Generally it has cut way down on the attitudes when I tell them to do something.
You don't put their clothes
You don't put their clothes away because you're not their guilt ridden mother. An 11 an 13 YO that are asking for someone to put their clothes away is ridiculous. That is pure entitled laziness. Does your DH ever acknowledge the hygiene issues?
"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."
.. SS will go over to his
.. SS will go over to his moms house and tell her how it is gonna be.. she actually told us before that she can not get him to shower, if he was told to put his clothes away there he would throw them.
But then again their entire lives they have been pitied and everyone worships them because "they have been thru so much", we have even been told they have been traumatized.. umm their parents got a divorce when they were under 2 yrs old.. thats not trauma.. I REFUSE to bow down to them..or any kid. My bio kids are good people, not perfect, but they DO respect others, they do not lie, they do not talk back (most of the time), they realize there are consequences for their actions.
My niece actually asked me not to bring SS to her house anymore because he was "weird and creepy and smells bad", my preg. daughter does not like to come over, and trys not to because of SS.. its just a mess..
Yep.. DH has tried to
Yep.. DH has tried to address the hygiene.. but nothing changed, the more it is addressed the worse it gets.
No matter what we say to SS he does the opposite. We are at a loss, we have tried everything, we have even tried to label baggies and make him put his socks and underwear in each day, givin him a day and time to get his laundry in the laundry room, we have taken his dresser away (because the dirty clothes in there were smelling up the entire room), he would have a small cup with shampoo in the bathroom so he would use it, his dad would go check to make sure he was.. the list goes on and on.. but NOTHING seems to freakin work with him..it is frustrating, the other kids will not talk to him in school, they dont even want him to get on the buss with them.. it is bad and getting worse.. because more things are (or should be) expected from him.
Its is even his papers from school, we have to see them because he has made it a habit to not do the work and then lie to his teachers saying we wont let him, he has brought about 10 papers home all school year. This problem is in every single aspect of his life here.. literally everything.
the kid is really wearing on my last nerve... and his dads.. the lies, dirtyness and daily bullshit..
we have actually considered sending him to live with BM.. but she will NOT get support and live off that with her unemployed craigslist boyfriend.. only other option.. sign off his rights.. sad to say but DH is almost at that point. It sucks ass, cuz he wouldnt stand a chance with BM, but the other kids here are subjectd to daily shit.. do we try to save one, or make it better for 3? ugh..
I think I would have to tell
I think I would have to tell him that if he cant live in a clean normal way he isnt going to sleep in my clean sheets and Id strip his bed lol.
U really are a saint I felt so alone before I joined this site but I have to say the venting of your anger does us all good.
xxxx
I wish I could take
I wish I could take something!!! Of ALL times, being pregnant and not being able to take a thing!!! grrrrr*
Just bang it out on the keyboard!
venting has saved lives here
venting has saved lives here lol!
its nice to know that you are not alone.. I thought the way I felt about his kids was wrong and I was a bad person.. I was lead to believe every one loves thier step kids like their own.. I just couldnt see how... I mean I love them and care about what happens to them.. but I dont like them so much!
You guys are all great, I want to have a big party and invite everyone! lol
My ss9 picks his nose, eats
My ss9 picks his nose, eats his buggers, scratches his ass & penis, doesn't always wash his hands after using the bathroom and will not shower without reminders. I've been teaching him to have proper hygiene since he was 5 (when I met him). I feel that he should have it down by now. He knows better, he just doesn't care. Instead of improving on hygiene, he's simply improved on hiding his gross behavior from me. I'm repulsed by it. I feel that my entire house is contaminated. I've done everything possible to teach this kid w/o results. I finally found that the only punishment that seems to actually affect him is public humiliation. I made him wear a sign that said 'I stink because I refuse to shower like my parents tell me to' and I walked w/him & his sign around the neighborhood. I hate using public humiliation as punishment, but it's the only thing that gets through to him at all. Before leaving the house he has to verbally recite that he will not pick his nose, eat his buggers fart or scratch himself in my car or while in public with me. He hates it, but I think it's working better than other friendly reminders and punishments have.
oh I left out.. not sure
oh I left out.. not sure how.. but I forgot to mention the bugger thing.. ss wipes them all over.. they are all over the walls.. It is gross, I dont want to clean them and he does it 1/2 assed.. tonight he is going to have a bucket and water waiting for him when he gets off the bus.. time to clean up! I am done messing with him, he is going to do what I say even if I have to treat him like a 3 yr old!! its the bottom line..