Can't wait to hear the advice on this one because I desperately need to know too. Except I have MY TWO BS's living with me. 21 and 24.
One is in the Army Reserve and the other is just coasting thru life. One dead end job after another. NEITHER contribute any real money to the home. The 24 year old gives 150.00 a month the 21 year old ON OCCASION will give 100 or 200.00. Maybe once a month or every other month. BOTH have ruined their credit, both owe me money and both have me SICK AND TIRED and I want them OUT of my house.
How do I do it? I really would love to help them but clearly they are just taking advantage of the situation and it has begun to weigh heavily on my finances. They eat like truck drivers going thru 600 worth of groceries every 3 weeks. Electric is high, cable bill is high, I need them GONE like ASAP.
What steps should I put in place to get them on their way.

You have to make it difficult for them to stay there and not like they are at a resort. Hell, if I didn't have to pay rent or my upkeep and still do what I want, I'd go live with my parents too...lol.

They have to have rules to comply with in order to stay with you, one of which includes a plan for them to get out.

One great rule is to have a full time job and pay rent, part of the utilities and part of the food bill. They should not have a free ride. If they don't comply then I'm afraid some tough love is in order otherwise you will forever have these freeloaders lingering in your home.

I don't have an adult SS living with me... yet. But it doesn't look like SS17 will be graduating in the spring so it might be a reality for me all too soon.

I agree with Totallybogus. You need rules to keep the day-to-day household tasks on schedule. ALL family members should contribute (even my 3 year old helps at home by setting the dinner table and putting away his toys every night). You also need a plan with a firm date for him to leave. Maybe his rent money could be saved up to use as a deposit for an apartment.

I don't know where you live, but were we live FLORIDA everyones out of work. My grandson just 18 and a student, has tried for 7 mos. and finally was hired last week by WALMART of all places. Things are tough right now for many that are unemployed.
IF you have a good job HOLD ON TIGHT.
Many companies are laying off our Unemployment just hit 10.4 which is the highest its been in 45 years.
Maybe if they can't find a job , they should look into a different career.
My grandson is a KID , so I was surprised he was hired. When so many parents are out of work.
Set the rules, keep track of ROOM & BOARD NOT Paid.( don't charge a lot or they'll never move) Tell them your only charging that amount so the rest can be put in savings for them to move in a few months. Also Tell them they will have to pay arrearages to you, (and you're keeping track), when they get a new job.
It's (maybe) NOT that you need the money, it's the principle and to teach them to be responsible.
IF worst comes to worst, Give them the money back to MOVE, once they have a job and are ready to move. That would be a nice gesture if you really don't need the money.
Mean while give them chores to do too !!

I feel so bad that the others gave very generous reasons as to why these 'kids' are happy living at your house, but what I immediately thought of was pot or partying somehow as being a factor? Could that be? I agree that they are a might too comfy and need to be reined in like they said.

Also I wanted to say - LOVE YOUR NAME-!! :smile:!
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers

No Most Evil they are just too comfortable here. They each have their own room, cable tv, wireless internet, homecooked meal every night, minimal chores, although a few weeks ago I practically started a boot camp of chores and made each one do their part. Jobs are really tough right now and they don't make a lot of money but I agree that some tough love will have to be the way to go. I like the idea of saving the money for them so they can move later on. The 21 year old is leaving to Italy with the Army in January for a month but when he gets back I will start charging the rent. It will be hard, I'm kind of a woos when it comes to my boys. But if I don't do it, they will be 40 freeloading off of me and then I will have no one to blame but myself.

Any parent who lets a adult child live rent free is a fool. Twice. First the obvious. Why pay an adults way?

Second and most important it is the duty of parents to prepare their children and go out in the world and make their own way. Failure to do this is a failure in parenting. Its that simple and that serious. Often adult children are reluctant to take that step and much like the mother bird a parent has to kick the kid out to fly. And guess what? Almost to the last one they do fly.

It now comes down to you to insist that dad be the father he should have been all along. He's to give the kid a deadline of perhaps two months, three at most, and if the kid has to rent a flop house to live in well that's what it is.

Many children will take a free ride if given one by their parents. It's normal behavoir under the circumstances. But it should not be tolerated. You are not going to talk a kid like this into motivation. Until he learns that nothing in life is free he will be in your basement even at age 40. My brother was like that for the same reason and a neighboring mother has a kid like that also. In both cases because the parent feared for the kid in the cruel world or they selfishly feared being lonely themselves.

Make this kid become the man he is supposed to be and insist he move out. If you don't this kid will be totally unprepared for the real world when the two of you are gone. That is not parenting.

I agree with Totalybogus and Orange County. I got married last year and our 26 yo SD lives with us. She's in school and was working until recently. Even though she's got a good education under her belt, she has a nasty attitude and is downright unfriendly and I've told DH the same. She pays a small amount for rent and up until recently bought most of her own food. But she never had to do chores so after I moved in I demanded that she contribute and vacuum a couple of times a week. You would have thought I asked her to paint the garage. She resisted and her dad got a hard realization about what a brat she was. He admitted that she wasn't used to structure, so I came in and demanded what should have been in place from the start. He's coddled her to the point where she's not prepared for the real world and was recently passed over for a job because of her "attitude." And she had problems with her bosses at her previous job. So she's already having problems with the real world. Now dad says he's going to talk to her about her attitude since it's obvious that other people see it too. After dealing with other issues regarding her, I'm hoping she'll be on her feet and ready to move within the next year. Parents your job is to be a teacher . . not a servant.

I would simply love to hook them up! If he likes women who are slobs then it would be a match made in heaven. And it would get her out of our house!